B.O.H.I.C.A.
Ohhh boy...Bend Over Here It Comes Again...
SD22 has estranged herself for over 5 years. She suddenly decided to come visit us for 4 days, starting tomorrow. I'm internalizing my stress and DH is freaking out, calling me all kinds of names. He is desperate to "win" her back and magically become advice-giver-dad-of-the-year. Meanwhile, with me and BD15, he spends the majority of his life tuned out in front of the TV. It will be a real slap in the face if DH suddenly has time and patience to spend with SD.
Me and BD15 rarely get a kind word or even just a word acknowledging that we are here. We DO exist and live with DH full time! lol But now that SD22 is coming here, he is clearly putting on a "nice-guy" front that he never shows me.
Based on my past experience with them, I'm pretty sure DH will use me as the "common enemy" in order to gain SD's approval. At my age, I realize it's just SAD...a grown man trying to impress and win over a 20-something year old with tactics like, "Let's make SM look bad so we can be friends..."
I'm sorry...
...this sounds really rough. I can not imagine why your husband would just say "Yes" to an extended visit from his extranged daughter? Do you have a plan in place for you and BD? Blessings to you as you navigate this stressful event. Please post the outcome and vent away if needed.
much caring to you
TV is such a boob toob. It may seem like an easy coping mechnism, but the lack of investment in reality sure makes for grinding loneliness for the people watching the watchers devolve into petty mouth breathing. You and your daughter deserve an actually present father/husband. It is when the skidults come back around that the fragile balance you are keeping internally is smashed into dispair. It makes no nevermind HOW his visit goes. The visit itself is a point of experience where you have to acknowledge what a load of crap you have compromised into. I care about how you, and your daughter are handling this. I tend to wish ill on a man who abdicates his future joy to a damn media rush. These fools. These soul-sucking fools.
Please don't put up with DH
Please don't put up with DH calling you names or treating you like shit.
When my SD did that after 7
When my SD did that after 7 years, the visit was for a cash grab (it was so transparent), so be prepared for that, too.
What can you do to remove yourself from the "common enemy" role?
Bet SD wants
Money she wants a car or wedding. Don't let DH call you names.remind DH he could be heading for another fail marriage