Still waiting for the other shoe to drop

I accompanied SD63 to a doctor appointment about a month ago where he referred her to a neurologist for shaky hands and memory lapses and to a surgeon for removal of implants from her leaky, bloody, lumpy breasts. At the time, she was waiting for results from heart tests and planning to see her orthopedist about a knee replacement since it's been giving out on her.

Since that time, it's been radio silence. She was here to pay her "rent" at the start of the month but I wasn't here and DH83 is too out of it to ask. She left a message on Mother's Day but no calls, even to DH who she typically calls to whine and/or beg for $. I figured her phone service had perhaps been cancelled, whatever, the less I hear from her, the better.

She called me tonight, wants to come over Sunday to cut DH's hair and do housework, in other words, for money. DH wanted me to ask about the doctors so I did. 1. Neurologist: "next Friday" but I have a feeling she's already had an appointment and cancelled. Her primary was calling so the neurologist would see her pronto. 2. Breast surgeon: "next month", this was also a case where the primary stressed urgency. 3. Cardiologist: heart is enlarged, more tests needed. 4. Orthopedist: knee surgery required but she's waiting til the other issues are addressed.

I'm not surprised, this is par for the course with her but I thought maybe the gravity of the situation would compel her to take action sooner. She did say she realizes nobody else will do it unless she does but she's good at saying the right words

The saga continues....

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doctors

This saga won't be over soon.

Neurologist -- here a month out would be pronto unless you saw them in the ER

Breast Surgeon -- agree that next month is a long time if the PCP called. When I called my appointment was a month out. My PCP called and got it changed to three days.

Cardiologist -- tests can take time. They often want to see the results of one before they do another.

Orthopedist -- for knee surgery she'll need clearance from both the PCP and the cardiologist. PCP most likely won't give it until the neurologist and breast surgeon have addressed her issues.

The other shoe may be a large boot.

Thanks

Perhaps SD's delays are legitimate. We will see. Thanks.

Please forgive me for the bluntness

In what I'm going to say.

I'm not sure you're going to have to wait for long. Her heart condition alone could kill her if left untreated. I cannot imagine a cardiologist would be nonchalant about getting the appropriate testing done and treatment started. Her other health issues also seem urgent. As she doesn't seem to worry about her health at all (beyond complaining about them), I'm inclined to think her days are numbered.

I have to say I agree, in her

I have to say I agree, in her place I would be very concerned indeed about the heart and breast issues. But it's her body, her choice. In the last 6 mths I got treated for what the consultant obviously thought was a melanoma on my head. It turned out fortunately, to be a BCC, but the whole process from visiting my GP to getting it removed and biopsied, took 4 months. But the NHS in the UK is very slow!

I feel like some people just

I feel like some people just cling to life for far, far longer than anyone could predict. And they're usually the worst people, in my experience. My FIL, in the last three years has had so many major health issues. Including sepsis, multiple amputations, congestive heart failure, lung infections, I could go on. He will go to the hospital only if he is in extreme pain, but once he's there he will not participate in his care except to demand pain meds. I think we're up to 6 (?) hospital stays of 2+ weeks in the last three years. Every single time, I think this is going to be it. There's no way anyone in his physical condition could recover. And he always does. He really should be in a longevity study at this point, because it's truly a marvel.

I think so, too

But she keeps chugging along.

I had a car like that...

I was also going to say that

I was also going to say that her heart will get her if she doesn't get on it asap. dragging it out because she's worried won't fix anything.

Is there a name for this

Is there a name for this behavior? My brother calls it Peter Pan Syndrome--when adults refuse to grow up and be responsible. It seems like a disorder to me. Were there full grown adults like this throughout history? It's particularly embarrassing that you have boomers and GenXers acting like problem teenagers.

(I have a sister whose house is about to go to foreclosure for the 3rd time. She's been bailed out twice and has had every opportunity in life to succeed, but she's basically lying on the ground kicking her feet and flailing her arms around hoping someone will save her. Nope.)

I feel for you!

Peter Pan syndrome

I don't think PPS is exactly what SD has. It's more like she wants to remain that teen-early twenties person. Like a living "Forever 21". She wears her gray-but- bleached-blond hair long like she did 40 years ago and dresses the same. Her ideal man would be a muscle-bound 25yo and drive a motorcycle. All her thinking is the same which is causing trouble since her body is 63 years old.