Creepy thoughts
I just had the creepiest un-welcome thought. I wonder what BM's engagement ring from DH looked like. Did he surprise her with it? Did he pick it out? Did they buy it together?
My engagement ring was from Wal-Mart.com because DH didn't want to shop for it and didn't really care about it. When it arrived, it was really early and I was asleep. He tossed the box on the bed and said, essentially "there ya go". It was the most unromantic, unceremonious, disappointing moment. I'm not a material person, in fact, I have NO jewelry at all other than my engagement ring and wedding ring, but it was important to me to have a diamond solitare and a gold wedding band. That's all. No other jewelry. Hell, I have ONE PAIR of garage sale old 8-year-old broke down tennis shoes. We buy SD12 four pair of tennis shoes, including a pair of $80 shoes and $50 shoes. I am not complaining, doing this is my choice, I am only giving example to show that I really do not care to have materialistic stuff like shoes, clothes, and jewelry so my desire for a diamond ring wasn't based on greed or being fancy.
It just struck me sitting here, after nine years of marriage and minimal-to-no contact with BM at all. I looked down for a second, saw my ring, and BAM that thought popped in my head... he was so blaze with me about it, did he pick hers out and go shopping and buy it?
I'll never know.
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Comments
My DH had to declare
My DH had to declare bankruptcy at the end of their marriage years ago. The ring was on credit at some mall chain store....it got charged off.....lol! He never paid for it esentially!
Mine is about a million times bigger and custom - there are some benefits to meeting a man when he is older than 20.
Dh and Bm had gold bands, and
Dh and Bm had gold bands, and she wore a homemade yellow dress to get married in.
Some surprised murmurs ran through the ranks when I got mine! (We picked it out together.)
Yeah, I remember having asked
Yeah, I remember having asked DH back when we were engaged and his response was, typically "I don't remember, it was so unimportant that I cannot even remember at all"...from two years ago...That is what I hate, the fibbing.
I hate it when shit like that
I hate it when shit like that pops into my head! Those kind of thoughts pop in my head at the worst times, too. How do you get rid of those thoughts!?
One time I had to take SD to the doctor and while filling out the forms, the questions were like "Was child breastfed," etc. I about gagged to death. All I could think for days was the intimate things DH was forced to share with BM. I told DH I will never take her to the doctor again. That's HIS fuck-up.
DH & BM were married for a
DH & BM were married for a few years before he even bothered to buy her a ring. When he did, he went to a pawn shop and haggled the price down to a couple hundred bucks on an ugly, ornate, old lady-style ring. Best part was she knew how little money & emotion went into buying her ring. He did MUCH better on my ring, which makes me enjoy flashing my sparkly ring that cost 10x more every chance I get in front of BM. }:)
It's best that you never
It's best that you never know, for your own sanity. Sometimes we have thoughts like this but the fact is no matter how much he put into the ring he bought her (effort or money wise) He still left her behind and is with you now.
This is probably true.
This is probably true.
Interestingly enough when I
Interestingly enough when I asked Dh where he and bm bought their rings he remembered but doesn't remember what it looked like. He actually said "I don't recall..." lol. We all know what that means!!
Dh and I bought plain silver titanium bands for our wedding, his is plain and wide like he wanted and mine has etching. They're heavy and feel like they'll last forever - like our love!! I had a diamond set before and it always snagged on things, one day I accidently really hurt my daughter when she was about 2 yrs old and I never liked that. So second time around I wanted smooth and plain! I am a CNA and work with seniors and do alot of bathing and I didn't want to hurt anyone but I also wanted to wear my band to work! I truely love my band!! DH said at our 10 yr anniversary he's going to buy my very nice bling!
I have the distinct
I have the distinct misfortune of knowing exactly what BM's wedding set looks like *and* how much he paid for it.
When we went ring shopping, he told me to pick out whatever I wanted, so I did. Then he looks at me and says, "If that's what you want, I'll go get it off BM's finger and give it to you right now."
A ring that is from the
A ring that is from the mother or grandmother (if not bitches) or from a consignment shop is perfectly acceptable. Re-using the ring a man gave to another woman totally not fine.
I guess..with little sleep the best analogy I can come up with is this: imagine if your wife came out in sexy lingerie when you got married for your honeymoon and told you that her Ex and he had picked it out and bought it for her (and allll that goes along with that) and that she used it every night for 10 years with him, and now she wants to use that "well-used" outfit with you on your wedding night and every night forever after that and not waste her time or money buying something different.
Using the ex-spouses wedding ring/engagement ring is really offensive in my opinion, sort of like meh you're just No.2 and if I get tired of you, I'll give the ring to No.3! Know what I mean? TOTALLY different from a hand-me-down ring from family or from pawn shops. I would certainly rather have no ring than something he picked out and bought for some whore! LOL
Curiosity got me, and I
Curiosity got me, and I asked. He said he gave her the money and she went and bought it herself. I hate to admit that I am glad he didn't go pick it out and shop for it with her, petty as that may sound! LOL
DH claims he didn't even ask
DH claims he didn't even ask her to marry him and BM's mother made him marry her because she was pregnant. He said he got her a cheap little ugly ring. My ring is beautiful and it was over 10 thousand dollars so mine was definitely better than hers!!