We had problems with ss's being difficult over food, so we made a rule of take it or leave it. They're obsessed with food and are constantly pestering about what's for dinner/when is dinner/when can we have a snack etc and it drives me crazy, so we've had to be very firm about mealtimes and food in general to stop their constant whining. They only ever get fast food occasionally as a special treat, ie for someone's birthday or special occasion, and because they don't get it very often they really enjoy and appreciate it. We never tried to make them eat something we knew they genuinely didn't like, but if they refused to eat their dinner they didn't get any other options. If they whined and cried and had a tantrum they still didn't get anything else and there was a time limit on how long the food stayed on the table before we gave it to the dog. They also got a consequence for their bad behaviour like their computer/tv privileges taken away for a day. They didn't get to fill up on snacks either if they'd refused to eat their meal and had to wait till the next meal. It's very rare we give them choices about what they want for dinner, as this just plays into their obsession with food and causes a big fuss and a long discussion/squabble between them. If you allow a child to dictate what they want to eat and give them a long list of options, it's just asking for trouble. Your partner is giving the kid far too much control and she is using that control to her full advantage to make sure you're both pandering to her and giving her what she wants every time. The only way to stop this is to get tough and do what we did. It's a pain when they're whining and crying, but going hungry for an evening won't hurt her and she should learn very quickly that there's no point arguing because she won't get her own way. Our ss's are still obsessed with food but now eat their dinner without argument and accept that if they don't there's no point whining and they won't get anything else, so it does work eventually. It sounds like your partner is the soft type who won't want to upset his little princess by being "cruel" to her and letting her miss a meal, in which case I think the only thing you can do is leave him to it - get your own meal and let him deal with little miss fussy himself.

I am a really good cook, like really good. People invite themselves to dinner. Currently in my home I have homemade sausage and beef meatballs and homemade sauce, homemade mac and cheese, left over pork roast, mashed potatoes and corn. What does SD17 eat breakfast lunch and dinner...cereal with soy milk.

Not my problem

My parents never catered to any attempts by us to be picky eaters, it was eat whats made or go hungry, we tried all kinds of tactics and nothing worked. A lot of times if we made big enough asses of ourselves we'd be sitting at the table at bedtime with a plate in front of us that we'd have to eat or sit there all night, and it was mostly my dads cooking (I don't ever remember my SM cooking)
What really worked if we refused to eat we'd go hungry, and be presented with the refused meal for the next meal. SO's kids will do this sometimes refuse to eat something even things they previously liked. At first SO attempted to cater to their wants and I put my foot down, I pay for and buy the food and will not waste it, nor let kids dictate our meals. My own kids weren't allowed to either. So he did the same things my parents did, if you don't eat what you've been given you will sit and look at your plate all night, go hungry and that is what you will be given for the next meal.
They attempted (sometimes still do) to feed their food to my dog we started to hook him up to his leash in the living room so they can't. They eat what their given, we no longer have the "I don't want that I want xyz" they eat what their given. Stop letting her dictate what she eats she's a child and doesn't get to tell the adults what she will and won't do, that becomes a much bigger issue than food later on.

I had the same problem with ss. When we use to do EOW it was no big deal because we were always on the go. But when we got ss full time and realized he wouldn't eat anything else it became a problem. The first year or two we bought only hot dogs (just the wennie) or chicken nuggets from the froze food dept. Then I would cook supper for DH and my self. If we went out to eat ss would never eat and we'd leave the restaurant with his meal sitting on the table and go buy McDonalds and buy him chicken nuggets. So ss wasted one meal at the restaurant every time. beleive me I bitched till I was blue in the face over ss eatting habits. It took me 4 years to get DH on board. Now when we go out to eat ss has to choose something other than chicken and eat it or he goes to be hungry. No special fixing anything or going to get something different. And when I cook at home he has to eat it or go hungry. I can say that when I cook something I know ss hates I well fix him something easy that he likes. I try to always have something on the menu that he will eat. Once he realized that DH and I were serious about him eating other stuff and eating what I cooked he got onboard. But even that took about 6 months of DH and I against ss. Now we have no eating problems. Whos to blame, Dh and I for letting that get started in the first place. LOL. We learen from our mistakes.