I'm suspicious but just watching and waiting

So here's the deal. I am still not trusting DH and his secret texts. Remember a month ago we had a big fight b/c I caught him texting his ex gf? Well I blocked her number for awhile and then unblocked it and was just checking the phone bill online this evening. I noticed a number with an area code that was unusual and this number started up the day after our big fight last month. So I researched the area code and sure enough it's in the state where DH told me once accidently where ex gf moved to. So I went to a website and found out this number is a cell number belonging to a man but it's been unregistered. I am not sure what that means but it's very suspicious to me, especially since DH is sending and receiving texts from this number about 2-6 times a day. So I blocked this number and I am going to just watch the phone bill and wait. I strongly feel something is going on but until I can prove it without a showdow of a doubt, DH will just deny it and then ex gf chenge her number again. I checked SS phone number on the bill and there are no to and from from him with this number so if it is ex gf then I know this time that DH is not in contact with her for SS's sake but for his own emotional affair.

In case you're all wondering, I am hoping that there is nothing and all my fears and mistrust are not grounded, but if this number is in fact the ex gf, I will be moving into my newly purchased home alone next month with just my boys. DH will have to find somewhere else to live - maybe another state.

I am teetering on having a freakin freak out. Here DH has cancer, barely makes enough to add to the family pot, has terrible credit and wouldn't be able to support himself and ss, so why the HELL would he do something like this????? If he's doing it??? I mean, do men seriously not have brains?

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^^^this. Block your number

^^^this. Block your number then call and see what happens.

Trust you gut. You do not

Trust you gut. You do not have to prove anything in a court of law.

There's an app for

There's an app for that.

Seriously.

She can get an app that H can text and it really traces nowhere. Also, if your DH decides to get it, you'll never know who and when he's texting/sexting with.

You need to decide whether this marriage is for you without "evidence" of infidelity. Why live like this indefinitely?

This would drive me insane.

This would drive me insane. Wondering about it, and having to police the phone bill. This has to be hard for you. At some point, you are going to have to decide whether its worth ur sanity to prove or disprove him. Having those doubts, are not healthy. Trust me, I have been there...and it doesn't turn out well for you either way. You either become consumed with proving it, or become the crazy jealous controlling wife.

I did not sleep well last

I did not sleep well last night, Dh restless from pain and then I couldn't sleep b/c I am there laying in bed with DH and all I can think about is how dare he find her more emotionally full filling then ME???? He always says things to me like I am just an angel and a healing person and he loves me so much. It's so hard b/c he is so sweet and a very loving person (compared to my ex) and yet I don't trust him. It's such a nasty dry rot in a relationship to have distrust. Another thing he depends on me for is medical insurance. If I leave he could lose his medical coverage and then how would he get his cancer treated. Last night I decided in my brain (cuase my heart wants this to be all ok) that when his treatments are done and he's all healthy and can work full time again, I will have the option to leave or face this thing head on but for now I am just blocking all numbers that look suspicious.

I am going to block my number and call or steal his phone for an afternoon (he'll think he misplaced it?) and text that number and see what happens. I don't think if I freak out I will get the truth or make any headway. It never works, he always gets defensive and lies. I just have to be sneakier this time to finally get the true truth.

By the way I checked ss16's calls and texts and he is not contacting this number.

Ok, back to work.