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The "nature vs. nurture" debate

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 3:30pm

I bring this up because I think it is very relevant to our SKs and how they act.

The nurture side: People and their personalities develop based on their main environment/environmental influences.

The nature side has more to do with genes.

I think there are some SKs here who are on the nature end of the spectrum. They are just genetically wired to be the way they are. Mental illnesses and/or criminal history may be very present in their family history. Hismineandours, I think your SS is a classic example of this.

And then there are the skids who aren't genetically wired to behave so badly, but do so for self-preservation in their custodial home, where the CP butters their bread. Unfortunately, many of these kids "know better" but are going along with the CP's pasing ways to keep the peace in the custodial home. Redwings, SA and many others, I think your SKs are on this enf of the spectrum.

Which side of the spectrum are your SKs on?

I think reading up on this debate is and could be a helpful thing to do, and will explain a lot about many SKs.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/9326819/Nature-vs-nurtur...

http://www.livescience.com/4168-nature-nurture-mysteries-individuality-u...

Comments

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 3:50pm

My Skids are all nuture, or lack there of. They live in chaos and have been PAS'd from day 1, they push those buttons in our home so they can go home and be praised by their BM.

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 4:05pm

Mine is a bit of both. Nature, because mental illness does run in his family. He has ODD, ADHD, and I think and his last psych did too, EOCD. He is genetically predispositioned to have issues. But, nurture plays a role as well. Some of his issues could be dealt with, managed, and overcome with the right structure, boundaries, and limitations. Not all, he will still have mental illness, but he would not be as bad if he were kept in line, given expectations, and consequences. His counselors and the psych all told Dh and BM that a child with his problems cannot be coddled, cannot be given free reign, they have to be in a very structured rules with clear cut rules and boundaries and punishment has to be consistent. They do not listen. BM is an idiot that has no parenting skills and is not interested in learning them, and DH is a Disneyland Dad. So, their child, gets progressively worse.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 4:13pm

DH's kids are definitely Nature. They were raised in the same house by the same parents. Same rules, same education, same opportunities. One kid is every parent's dream, the other makes DH's blood pressure rise.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 4:24pm

Yes, i agree with you my ss is nature. In fact, I believe at some point we may find that he has some sort of genetic disorder as there are a few physical issues with him too that have always made me question that there is really truly something wrong with this kid.

I think nurture has compounded the problem. I think, perhaps, if he had had an ideal environment maybe so e of these issues would not have rose to the surface or be as severe as they are. My ss DOES know better- he knows lying, stealing, drugs, etc are wrong he just doesn't care. There is something morally deficient there.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 4:26pm

I did not know know my SSs as children but I do believe their problems are genetic via their maternal side.

BM's father although a very successful physician was a total alcoholic. BM has had deep depression and who knows what other mental illnesses.

Both boys turned out awful. Older one was truly a sociopath. A horrible monster from almost toddler years. The second one is not mean and violent like the first but is a total alcoholic.