I'm going to bet she's a moron who thinks she will get more cs by pretending she's so poor she's living beyond her means. How to use that will be up to you guys and a lawyer.

Id see what she says when confronted on that fact.

Our BM did that last time she took DH to court. She showed that she had $40k in credit card debt that requires her to pay $2200 per month toward, as well as a $2100 mortgage, along with all the other bills. She does make decent money, but clearly lives way beyond her means. The judge didn't care at all about how she handles her finances. He only wanted to know DH's income vs her income, and came up with the amount that way.

I couldn't live with that kind of stress (living beyond my means like that!)

She is either lying about her income, which can be proven by paycheck stubs or tax returns (unless cash under table).

Or she is inflating her bills, hoping that will make a difference in the amount of CS she gets.

Or the bills are real but are being split by her and her BF but she wants the judge to think she's paying all of them. Obviously, she is not paying all of them if her income is less than her bills.

Those financial statements are a joke because never once have I heard of a judge giving a rat's ass what a person's actual bills are when figuring CS.

At the end of the day courts don't care about ANYONES finances. ALL they care about is how much money you have to pay based on their ridiculous timetables.
Nothing more, nothing less.
If your DH is making more money than the last time he went to court, get ready for an increase.

In Colorado, CS is based on 2 factors: 1. Number of overnights each parent has with kid and 2. Both parents' incomes.

So, really, her bills don't matter and it's obvious she is not paying them by herself if they are more than her income.

Have you used a CS calculator for CO to figure out what his CS should end up being?

I smell a big fat lie.

I think it's sad all the way around. Sad for sd that for 12 years both mom and dad put her on an unnatural pedestal and let her run the show. Sad that she's got a PASinator bm. Sad that bm seems to be such a bad mom. Sad that dh will have to literally pay bm to both pas sd and encourage her to not work through her issues with her dad.

Dh should collect research on how kids who have strained relationships with their dads often struggle, and how girls in particular will struggle with guy issues. Maybe it'll show the judge that although he made big mistakes as a parent he's fighting to give sd a chance at turning out ok and minimizing the damage already done to her.

ETA: I would hope a good judge would see through this and call bm out on it, and court order some intense help for sd that goes way beyond the "therapy" she got before. A good therapist can see through the lies their client feeds them and properly call them out on it. Sd was lying to her therapist all right, but it seems like her "therapist" bought her lies.

I hope your dh documents away and that the judge rips bm a new one and gets this kid some help.

BM here that has been through the courts MANY time with ex dumbass. The judge will not give a shit what her debt to income ratio is, he is not there to address who's the better financial fit for her. Child Support and Custodial situation are two different situations. She could say she has a room mate that splits half the bills with her, she could have a boyfriend, and all they will calculate is HER income and HER household bills. She could be living with 4 other people splitting the bills 5 ways the judge isnt going to care. Hes going to take your DH's gross income and hers and use the formula to calculate.

He can get parenting time credit's for when he does overnights, they won't give it unless they ask for it. This is the case in my state. Good luck with her getting 100 percent custody, unless your DH is a serious moron or she is at risk the judge will NOT order it. Usually when they get a certain amount of custody, they like to keep it like that.

She will still have to turn over tax info most likely. Then the jig is up.

RedWings, your income doesn't count for CS purposes for SD/DH.
Likewise, BM's BF''s/brother's income doesnt' count for CS purposes.
IF (big IF and if you can prove it) brother/BF PAY RENT, then that could be included as additional income.
Also, posters need to keep in mind that your DH isn't "going for" 50/50 custody. He HAS 50/50 and never sees/speaks with his child. You even chose to move to a 1 bedroom apartment so that she CANNOT stay there.
I'm rather surprised that BM hasn't filed much sooner than this.
She receives $250 for SD for 50% of the time, but she has her 100% of the time...why should DH NOT pay additional CS?
Whenever you write about this situation, you make it sound like the only reason DH says he wants to "fight" for shared custody is to save him money.
Let's be honest, $250 is hardly anything toward the costs of a teenager. You pay double that for a child you DO see.
It's likely that DH's argument for 50/50 will be denied, as if he really WANTED the time with his daughter, he'd have it. Instead, he doesn't want to see her and you most certainly don't want her in your home.

I honestly don't understand why you think DH shouldn't pay more.

It's likely a judge will look at current paper custody, current actual custody, and award accordingly. I'd start figuring out a budget with DH paying roughly twice what he pays.
Also, you may want to rethink the "not seeking CS" idea from your X if you get custody...you may NEED it.

SAF is right about the money. There's no way around the increase in CS. The big issue is the # of overnights, as you have said. BM's income has a very small impact on the amount of CS in comparison to # of overnights. So now you have a situation where, on paper, there is 50-50 custody, but in reality, BM bears the full cost of all SD's expenses because she is never with her father. Yes, it is her choice, but IT IS REALITY, and courts deal in reality. I think I remember your posting some time in the past that you wanted to move, but couldn't because of the custody situation with SD. Maybe it's time to move on to some other place, where you and DH could potentially earn more. Leave SD and BM to stew in their own juice for a while. It is only 3 years more of CS, less time by the day. The increase is going to be at least $200/month, no matter what gets decided about the overnights. The additional amount may be significantly more. That's reality. You are considering taking your daughter back to live with you fulltime, and not having her father support her. Yes, you will be saving the CS you currently send, but that will barely cover the additional expenses of a teenager fulltime. Maybe you and DH need to move somewhere closer to your daughter. I don't know your employment situations, but if you can move, it is something to consider. Save the lawyer $$, this is a very defined process as many others have posted, and you can see the outcome on the CS calculator as well as anyone. It may not feel fair, it may feel like you and your DH are getting the shaft, but think about all the delightful peaceful days you can share with your DH if you can just send that bitch a check!