"Dad why did you and Mom split up?" was what SS7 asked DH this weekend.

DH and I had just talked about that not too long ago. We fully expected SS7 to ask at some point because he can still remember them being together (he was 4 when they split) but SS5 doesn't (he would have been 2 then). But we thought we had more time. DH doesn't want to lie to him but at 7 he isn't going to understand and DH knows that if he asks BM, she will lie to him.

Now I was not there and I didn't come in to the picture until a year later so I can't be blamed and I don't know exactly what went down but I tend to believe DH's version.

According to DH, BM wanted out and after months of struggling with money and fighting, He even found txt messages from other men on her cell phone. She asked him for a divorce on Christmas Eve night. After crying and saying good bye to his family that day. During the fighting DH had wanted to work it out, but BM would go to counseling or anything. She was also trying to get DH to spend more time with his friends Chubby and Matty from work. She finally told him that she "Wanted her life back."

They had been married for 7 years and had 2 kids together ages 2 and 4 at the time. The divorce wasn't finalized until May so form December to May when DH would come home, BM would leave and not return until late (most nights)

Later Matty told DH that BM had been calling him at weird times of the night and even told him that they were getting a divorce BEFORE she told DH. Even to this day BM still calls and hits on Matty. But Chubby wasn't as available to hang out with DH because he was seeing this new girl.

After the divorce DH and BM were walking out of court house and BM said she felt sick to her tummy and DH said he actually felt better. 2 weeks later BM 'started' dating Chubby - whom she eventually married.

But BM tells everyone that the split was mutual and I know that its what she is going to tell SS7. Because she can't admit that she wanted out mainly because I think it was the kids that she wanted to get away from. I don't think she could handle being a full time mom, even when her and DH fight she threatens to get full legal custody, never physical. She used to threaten him a lot but I finally told him to call her bluff just once and she withdrew.

Any way SS7 asked DH that in the car and he lead into it with. "I have this question that I have wanted to ask you for a very long time but I haven't..." He sounded a little nervous but DH thought about it before answering. He told SS7 that he was too young to understand what happened and when her got a little older DH would explain it to him.

How do you tell a kid his mom wanted her life back?

on a side note BM and I were exchanging e-mails once (that she started because she thought we should be friends) and she said that of course I believed DH's version of what happened and as his wife I should be on his side. I asked her if she didn't think it looked a little shady that her and Chubby started dating so soon after the divorce was finalized. She quit e-mailing me.