Is this something you genuinely need to worry about? Or are you "just sayin'"?

what is "no bite"?

It's another reason why it's good to disengage from the skids. The less I'm involved the less Uberskank complains.

Wow. You sound EXACTLY like our BM, it's scary :O

But seriously, it's a 2-way street. Teach your kids to respect us (as adults) and everything will be good. It's exactly that attitude that makes us react the way we do - we don't wake up WANTING to think badly about these kids, but sometimes we have no choice. Posting what you posted only proves us right.

BMs can get way too vindictive. Instead of going out of your way to make our lives a "living nightmare", why don't you focus on your kids and what they're learning from you? My skids are acting more and more like their mother every day, and it's only because she's teaching them that it's ok to act immature and foolish and selfish and greedy and vindictive. The more "good" we try to teach them, she teaches them twice as much "bad" - just to spite us. Now, tell me, what good will that do when her son is in prison later on in life? Just to spite us? SMH

I can say that in a "moment", I've said some unkind things to SS13 about his mother that he shouldn't have had to hear (though it was all very true).

Maybe I was just having a "bad day". (LOL)

But seriously, I can understand when enough is enough and nothing else is working. Sometimes words slip out that shouldn't.

The no bite thing had me thinking... and I wondered if I'd do that to my own daughter if nothing else i was trying wasn't working. But I don't think I would have done it in her sleep, I would have discussed it with her and let her know what I was putting on her nails and why. That way each time she bit them, she'd think of me and what habit that we were trying to break.

Regarding the hitting, if my child was totally out of line then I could maybe see it and excuse it. But it also would totally depend on my relationship with SM, SM's relationship with DD and DD's general behavior/personality/etc.

Funny, but somehow BMs can actually do EXACTLY the same with their kids and put down where their ex lives, etc. and it's no abusive or mean...it's just a fact of life...hmmm

OK, honestly, I would never say that to a kid...heck, I didn't have to...the skid realized it ALL ON HER OWN...I remember her words "why aren't there policemen around here all the time like where I live?" lol priceless...

Here is the problem though. Your not the kid's only parent.

If dad is ok with the step mom disciplining the child and state law allows in parent locum (one acting as a parent or in a parental position of authority) to dole out a physical punishment. It doesn't matter what the mom wants, as mom cannot control what goes on at dads house.

If dad is ok with no bite. It gets used at his house. Does not matter if he paints it on the kids nails, if step mom paints it on, or if he hands it to the kid to paint it on. His house, his rules. (never used it, now am curious as both sd's have HORRIBLE nail biting to the point their fingers bleed- not just nails, they also bite their cuticles)

If dad allows step mom to run the house, that is his choice, for his house and BM gets no say. Threatening to create a 'nightmare' out of the other bio parents choices is the stuff of crazy BM's who we come on here to vent about.

That said, I would never take a paddle or belt to my skids asses, not how I choose to discipline a child. I will however back hand a skid who cusses at me and calls me derogatory names. Don't like it? Then the bio needs to step up and raise the kid better so that problem never arises. Do not expect ME to put up with verbal or physical abuse from a kid because it was not raised to respect adults around them. Do not expect me to walk away or back down in my own home. I am the adult. That child will be put back in its place of being a child and not being in control quickly.

I will snatch a cell phone so fast their heads will spin. And let their dad know about it when he gets home. Reason for the removal of the cell and for how long I removed it. I pay the bill. Don't like it?
a) raise your kid better
b) pay for the phone yourself
c) there is the door.

We have had in the past "You can't take that, MOM paid for it." Bet me. My house, my rules that shit is gone. When you go back to your moms you can take it with you and it is not allowed back IN my house for x period of time. If you sneak it in and I find it, it will have a really unfortunate introduction to the garbage disposal.

There are a lot of parents, mainly BM's, who think Co-parenting means parents have to agree on everything. Which is actually not true. Intact family parents rarely agree on everything. Take a couple that divorced and who honestly don't like each other and attempting to get them to agree on anything is an almost physical impossibility. To get them to agree on EVERYTHING regarding how kids are raised is even less likely to happen.

IMO and its only my opinion: co parents get together on: education, medical, financial and legal issues regarding their kids. Breaking that down further, agreeing on schools (including extra curriculars), doctors, dealing with child support and custody issues.

In rare cases the parents are able to get together when the kid has SCREWED up and are able to effectively punish the child together. (same punishment, both houses, for a predetermined and agreed upon period of time.)

Coparents do not have to hold a summit over no bite, what TV shows kids are allowed to watch, what clothes they are allowed to wear, hairstyles, shoes, back packs. They aren't required to agree on each others reward systems or punishment systems. Food eaten, allotted video game time, pets, play dates (as long as scheduled on their own time), vacations (again scheduled on their own time) etc etc.

The building I am sitting in is my house. My home.
I am the woman of this house.
The rules that govern it are ones created by myself and my husband.
This does not make me the skids mother or a mother replacement. It makes me the matriarch. The head female. A position of authority in the home.
BM has no say within the four walls of this house. It is not her place to have a say here. Her say is at her house on her custodial time. DH's say is here on his. If he has a problem with something I say or do, he brings it to me, we discuss come to an agreement and continue on our lives.
The bio parents have divorced- the days of getting 100% say in their kids upbringing are over. BM may always and forever be their mother, but she does not influence the happenings in our home. Just as DH will always and forever be there dad, but BM sure isn't going to run her house according to his dictates.

The BM in our life 'brought on the nightmare' when DH and I did not agree with her on issues with the skids.
It didn't end too well for her.

Um, can I just say that if you have a problem with the fact that an SM is actually doing something that would help and save your child in the future, as in using No Bite, then we've got serious control issues here. If the dad wants or lets the SM use it, he might as well have been the one to do it, and therefore the one who had the last say was him. He's the parent too and he always has the last say, even if it doesn't look like it from the outsider's point of view.

Nail biting can get SO bad and I've seen it in my younger sister--the nails started to grow INTO the fingers and oh god just thinking about it freaks me out. She had to go to the doctor to control the infection. She, in college, ended up controlling it herself by buying this special nail polish that is bitter when chewed. Guess she got tired of the pain from the infections.

If you as a parent of a child who has that problem doesn't do use all in their power to stop it, I'd be unleashing my fury on YOU for being a negligent mother/father, or at the very least looking down on you.

Sheesh, when did the health of a child in the form of something that can prevent medical intervention become an issue comparable to hitting a child without provocation?

I can see a BM being concerned about what is physically done to her kid but she has ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to go ape shit over anything I say to her that is true.

I haven't done it YET - but I am sure at some time I will mention to SS that he mom was not a faithful wife. She was a cheating asshole. That's the truth.

I too have skids that chew their nails and fingers until they bleed. I am going to find this no bite stuff and use it. Knowing them, they'll still chew them and develop a taste for it. :?