Hi all well my bs12 has finally been diagnosed with ODD. I am not surprised as I have known for some time that there was more to his behaviour than met the eye. Finally the psychologist has a name for it and I'm not sure whether to cry or feel relieved. I haven't blogged about my son before as I usually come here for advice on SO/SK issues. I love my boy more than anything but my life is taken over with constant discipline and hard lines that I have to draw with him to try and get the message across that his behaviour is bad. He isn't violent but he is argumentative and annoying. He is in constant trouble in school to the point where I am at the school four days out of five talking to teachers and the principal because he is so disruptive in class.

To add insult to injury my SO keeps coming out with statements such as "I have no time for him" "he gets more attention than any other kid because of his bad behaviour etc" I am not sure what I am supposed to do. I have taken everything off my son, literally. He is on 730 bed times and has been all year because of his behaviour. There is nothing left to take away. He even has to check books out from me because everything he owns is in my control. My SO has kids who are no where near as bad as my son but they still have behaviours that I would like nipped in the bud but I am not allowed to say boo to them or he gets all butt hurt. His son 14 smokes, got in trouble a couple of weeks ago in the city because he kicked a sign at the local shop because the shop keeper wouldn't give him a package without ID. He smashed the sign doing 60 dollars worth of damage and yet both BM and my SO told him they understood his frustration at the shop keeper blah blah. His daughter is late to get ready for school every day but if I try to implement any form of discipline for her continuing to do this despite being repeatedly told her dad gives her a hug and let's it be known that HE will deal with her and then never does. My son however if he is late etc is yelled at and told off by him for being difficult. I really resent my step kids because of my SO inability to at least treat all the kids the same.

I had a terrible time with my BS yesterday and he ran off on me and it took 2 hours to find him. SO felt I should just leave him to roam the streets and let him get a taste of what real life is like. Maybe he's right but all I could think of w what if someone picked him up, what if he got hurt by a predatory person?? So I went and found him. I am at my wits end and have ended getting my mum to watch BS for a few days so I can have a break to recharge. Now my SO is telling me that he will no longer offer me support with him because I have effectively rewarded him for his bad behaviour. When I try to explain to him that I am done in and have no more energy to give my BS right now it just falls on deaf ears. I have 3 other bios to take care of and their Dad left for another state years ago and doesn't contact them. Every time I have asked him for help he won't even return my calls. I'm tired of cooking, cleaning and taking care of all the domestics not just for my own kids by for SK's & SO also but when I can't take anymore SO just kicks me when I'm down. , I just don't know what to do.