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Why can't BM just drive off of a cliff?

GameOn's picture

So we got both SD 8 and SS 6 for DH's b-day on Saturday. I really have no clue what goes through this lady's head, but BM had wanted to keep them for the weekend because she had forgotten that it was DH's b-day on Saturday and already made plans to take the kids some where for the weekend. DH told her no, that it was his b-day and he wanted the kids to spend the day with him. When DH picked the kids up from BM's house she handed him a b-day invitation for a b-day party for SD. Guess what day it was on? You guessed it. The same day as DH's which happened to be that very day. So of course SD is disappointed that she can't go because DH already made plans for his b-day.

I'm also wondering how BM was planning on taking the kids out of town and yet have SD go to a b-day party in town. DH had told her he wanted the kids Thursday of last week and his b-day was on Saturday. I'm assuming that the invitation arrived at least a week in advance. So either she wasn't planning on going to the party originally and was going out of town with the kids, she lied to DH about wanting to take the kids out of town for the weekend just to keep them on his b-day, or the minute she found out she couldn't take the kids she decided to get SD's hopes up about DH taking her to a children's b-day party on the same day as his. She didn't even email about the kids party. Just handed DH the invitation knowing full and well that DH wouldn't be taking SD and knowing that it would upset SD.

I really just don't understand this lady. Why would DH take SD to a another childs b-day party on his b-day. Neither of the other two kids can come along because they weren't invited and it's his b-day. I wonder if she's just trying to be a b-word or if she really is that stupid. There's no way that she would do that on her b-day. I swear, this lady is constantly trying to be a thorn in DH's side.

She then even had the nerve to ask DH if he was taking the kids out of town for Christmas. I guess it's finally dawned on her that it's DH's Christmas and it falls on his week for the first time since they've been divorced. The drama will start to escalate with her the closer we get because she won't think that it's fair that she has to go one year without Christmas even though she thinks it's fine for it to happen to DH. Plus, last year when it was her Christmas with the kids but it fell on our week she asked DH if she could keep them overnight on Christmas Eve. When DH told her no because it's the first time we've ever had them Christmas morning she threw a fit and tried to use her one of her weeks of priority vacation to take the kids for the entire week of Christmas so DH wouldn't see them at all on Christmas. (I'm going to be rolling when DH throws that little one back in her face when she asks for the kids for Christmas this year). The only reason why we got to keep Christmas morning is because DH told her that he would use his two weeks of vacation on her two weeks leading up to Christmas which means she wouldn't see the kids for a month. She freaked out and eventually gave DH back his Christmas morning but he had to let her keep them overnight Christmas night in order to get her to agree to it. And seeing as how she's so pleasant I'm assuming she'll use that same tactic to try and get DH to give her some time on Christmas. DH is already aware of this and plans on staying strong and documenting everything via email.

I really don't understand this lady but I am looking forward to DH laying it out to her why he is unwilling to work with her for Christmas. There's no incentive to work with her if it's only a one way street and he gets effed over everytime he tries to work with her over schedules with the kids. If she can't be nice than she can follow the CO.

Comments

myspoonistoobig's picture

I deal with this sort of thing a good bit, although so far this summer visitation's been okay. I'm sure it'll get ridonkulous again once SS gets back home and it's 'safe' for BM to be a bitch again.

Our BM wants SS to fly back for Christmas eve and Christmas Day this year so he can meet some random new family member from TV-dinner Dad's side of the family.

I told DH, fine, but she pays for it.

We'll see how that pans out.

GameOn's picture

I think she'll back off for a little while and maybe even be nice because she wants to kids on Christmas. But when it finally dawns on her that DH isn't going to budge I can forsee her being nasty. Probably the worst that will have seen yet other than the CPS thing she pulled two years ago. I can't remember what DH did that time that she thought he needed to be punished. He did tell her about four months prior to that event to leave him alone and he wasn't interested in a relationship with her anymore.

QueenBeau's picture

Get a better court order where there's no negotiating time.

We have every single day planned out for the year. She can ask for changes & usually DH agrees (he's stupid because she won't do the same for him) but if he doesn't want to he can say no & there's nothing she can do.

GameOn's picture

DH can say no too. He still has hopes that eventually she'll want to play nice but I really don't think it will happen. If she doesn't get her way then it's usually followed up by some sort of punishment to DH. Lying to the kids, about DH trying to screw him over, calling CPS on him. She wants it her way everyday and if she doesn't get then there's h@ll to pay. That's the way it's been for the last four years and we still have 12 more to go until SS 6 is 18.