Is there a family member who can come over for a few hours and allow you to nap? Or can you get a babysitter? Even a local neighborhood teenager who can take the kids to the park for a few hours while you sleep?

I understand your pain, it is very hard. I have my BS6 who was placed with me by human services a little over three weeks ago. Until then my ex and I shared 50:50. He is a great kid, but is quite possibly ADHD, he wakes up at 7am and is up and GOING until 10pm, then sleeps in 2-3 hour bursts. I am absolutely exhausted - partly I know due to the stress of the situation (my son and I are being constantly interviewed by human services and the police, although there is no investigation into my house). I am not a native of the country and am literally thanking any god that may or may not exist that by coincidence my parents are visiting for two weeks in two days.

Do not be afraid to ask for help. It is better to ask even if people bitch than try and do it all and collapse. I asked my neighbors babysitter to watch son for a few hours last Friday and gave her a break today as I needed to sleep so badly.

What did your DH do before he and SS moved in with you? If he has been working all along, who took care of SS before you came into the picture? How old is SS?

wow you poor thing, this sounds like it's been awful. First let me say, in no part of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD is sleeplessness a characteristic. Unless he is taking stimulant medication to treat the ADHD, he should not be having these problems because of ADHD, perhaps there is another organic cause, who knows. I say this because sometimes people (Adults and children) blame bad behavior on their diagnosis, in a all likelihood he can be trained to sleep more normally.

How old is your SS?

We have taught my skids that if they wake up before their alarm (6:15am) then they need to lay in bed until it's time to get up. They are young and they need at least 10 hrs of sleep a night, so going to bed at 8:30 means waking up no early than 6:15... Obviously we cannot force them to sleep, but we can make a rule that they are not allowed to get out of bed. My guess is that your ss is finding fun things to do when he wakes up-- like playing with toys, getting your attention, etc. Teach him to read digital clocks, if he can't already. Teach him that he's not allowed to turn on the lights or get out of bed until the alarm goes off. YOu can even let him pick out a cool clock himself. explain to him how much sleep his body needs at his age-- 10-12 for school age children is a good rule and tell him why. Find a good punishment for getting out of bed before his alarm goes off. You could even do a punishment/ reward combo-- if he gets out of bed he loses a privelge but if he stays in bed he gets a reward-- like special time with you, etc something that would motivate him but not cost you money... If you hear him get up, tell him he lost xyz privilege the next day and tell him to get back to bed. getting oneself to sleep is a skill that he can learn, regardless of his history. Heck even if he truly can't sleep, there's no reason why he cannot stay in bed until it's a reasonable time to wake up. a big part of it will be reestablishing the routine.

**** put alarms on his bedroom door and doors to the outside to alert you if he leaves his room or attempts to leave the house*** this will hopefully help you to sleep a little more soundly.

If he's school age (5 or older) and cannot be trusted to be unsupervised in the house (with an adult in the room nearby) for 30 mins- 1 hour than something is wrong and he should be evaluated by a professional. He should be able to manage his impulses and be safe at that age, even while you're asleep. Many school age children wake up on the weekends before their parents and can be trusted to get breakfast (cereal or something simple) then watch tv until the adults wake up... you should not have to be awake all the time that he is.

IF your DH isn't going to help you to address this issue, leave him. I know a lot of people on this board say to leave someone easily, but I don't say that lightly. IF you're living in a world where you're unable to sleep and he's not helping you to get the rest you need-- that's a huge problem-- it's a basic, physical need.

<3

I also wanted to comment that your SS must be a real peach behaviorally if he's operating on no sleep all the time, what fun that must be for you and the other adults in his life!!! YIKES!!!! I bet he's a terror, or is he too lethargic to cause problems during the day?

How did you get through dating a man and NOT NOTICE his child was ADHD and had problems?

Have you tried the Benadryl for him?? It works for my ADHD son, who is now 27. Benadryl is short-acting, but you can get ~ 4 hours of respite with its use, if it makes him sleepy. Benadryl (diphenhydramine is the generic version) works completely differently from melatonin, and works much better for my son. Melatonin was useless. It's cheap, too. (In caplet form, 25mg.)