SD never comes up hardly calls dad, etc. I try every once in a while to communicate with her but bm always butts in and says that whatever i say is inappropriate! over the weekend i asked sd if she goes to therapy, dad said she did, and asked if she wanted us (sm and dad) to go to work on relationships. No reply back. so i asked if she wanted to meet and talk about things to start to communicate with each other she says "MY dad is coming down to see ME so HE and I can spend time together" well his other daughter was coming up so i said "i have not heard this and i dont think so because his other daughter is up this weekend" no reply so i say "well the offer is there let me know". THEN she talks to her dad and makes it seem like therapy was her idea lets all go. WTF?! why couldnt she just reply? so I ask her "why couldnt you have just replied back" she says "i will go with you guys" then i say well have your mom set it up and we will go with you" then theres this whole discussion on insurance. Its about her so why can't we just go to her therapist? so I ask her "why does everything need to be an argument ?" her mom interfers and says "no one is arguing with you" which she was trying to say it was our problem and not hers but anyways I use other sd for an example so she understands it for HER! "we dont have any problems with his other daughter, its for you not us". bm interferes "leave the other daughter out of it its a different relationship this daughter is special to him and there was not a problem until you came along" HA my husband tells me that she has ALWAYS withheld sd and that its always been an issue trying to see his daughter! so i tell her "no one is trying to hurt her just want to see that its for HER not us" then i tell mom that "she not any more special to him than anybody else in his life" sd says " im not special to my dad" i said "your not any more special than anybody else in his life" she says "i understand that but when you say it it hurts" i said i didnt understand why it would so it hurts her to know that he loves all his kids the same? is that not crazy?! it hurts her to think that he might love someone other than her?! come on! so i say " it hurts your feelings he has a family now" she says " he has always had a family and ive always been a part of it" at this point im like wtf? I mean come on! my husband tells me theres always been problems seeing his daughter with this one. so I tell sd "you had problems before i started seeing your dad" " he did not have an immediate family and you have chosen to NOT be a part of it or mom would make up excuses for you tonot be and that has nothing to do with me" sd says " i have to go thanks for making me feel bad" im like really? first of all i wasnt trying to make her feel bad but it just pisses me off to no extent that she things it should jsut be all about her and nobody else. so i say "im not trying to make you feel bad I want you to know the truth" so mom interferes and says "u must miserable person to be so hateful to a sweet child dont text her again" really? shes 15 years old and she cant be told this? i know for a fact, came from daughters mouth, mom says all kinds of nasty things about both of us and ir eally feel as though im not out of line. guess that is why im writing this...am i? i dont see it! I tell mom " i dont know what you are taling about u must be so miserable to have to use someone else to cover for you our daughter needs to have a relationship with her father and his family. sd needs to realize its not just about her. everyone is special in our family. sd chooses not to be a part and we refuse to let you separate our family as you continually do you need to butt out nobodys being hateful its called clarification seems there are mistruths and twisted lies being told to our daughter" mom says "that makes no sense" so i say "im sorry u take what i say out of context i wasnt saying anything hateful from my udnerstanding there has always been issues with dad seeing daughter and im just another excuse and I do not appreciate it. I have doen nothing wrong it seems a though you feel like i should not have a say. if someone acts out they are disciplined its that simple. you jump all over anything i say and twist it to what yo want it to mean. you need to specific if you are to analyze everthing i say. does that make sense? if you need clarification id be happy to give it:)" she says sarcastically "thats nice of you haha" so is ay " no worries trying to help you understand" she says "hahaha ok" i said "ok? how are you? I hope all is well and we are able to communicate with daughter and work past all this and anything taht bothers her" i think she is trying to use splitting pinning everyone against me. I do have a temper when she pusshes my buttons but honesty i dont knwo what to do im at the end of my rope bm doesnt want me to communicate or have a relationhsip with daughter but thats imppoossible im married to her dad! HELP!!!!