talking to SDs
so im talking to SDs today about the room. how would you phrase it? i was going to start with "your father and i discusses the baby needing a room yesterday. so im here to talk to you about it" is that ok? what can i say after it ? also i dont know if i should make it like a demand or question or suggestion... help ?
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No. Of course her DH did not
No. Of course her DH did not 'agree'. The little weasel told her she should discuss it with the girls and work it out.
No way will he approach the girls himself...fact is if the brats say 'no', no it is and Papa will back them up. Kinda makes one wonder who the 'men' are in this household :?
Once he tried to talk them
Once he tried to talk them into doing something with the explanation of "lucija will leave if this doesn't happen", SD15 said "awesome, great", and sd18 started screaming "so you love her more than us? she matters more ? she's more important?" , so that's why he now doesn't ever mention that -.-
I would not go at the talk
I would not go at the talk 'demanding' as that will set the 'talk' off right into a fight. I'd would perhaps go up, call the brats all into one room and announce baby will be taking one room and they need to decide between them which room it is. Use the assumption that this isn't you 'demanding' or 'suggesting', it's simply the way it is. Kid needs room, brats have six rooms, which brat is giving baby a room?
What the heck do the brats do anyway with their extra room a piece?
Make a huge ass mess in each
Make a huge ass mess in each of the rooms. Nothing really.
"Hey girls heads up: I am
"Hey girls heads up: I am making the small room the babies room. On (insert date here) I am moving (childs name) into (childs name) room."
Then look at the one getting moved and smile and say "I know you don't want to get woken up three times a night by the baby waking up crying and me coming in to feed it. Pretty sure you also don't want to sit and watch me breast feed the munchkin multiple times a night. Problem is solved, now the baby wont be waking you up and both of you can get the sleep you need!"
Do NOT ask a kid permission, hit them with what is happening and why and walk away. Conversation over. You are the adult, you make the decisions, done.
I thought this same thing
I thought this same thing ^^^
No freaking way my baby would be upstairs with 3 girls who would "get pissed off if baby is referred to as their sister" while I am downstairs. No.freaking.way.
I'm not understanding how a house that is large enough to have 6 bedrooms upstairs only has one bedroom downstairs??? There is no den, dining room, anything that could be used for baby downstairs?
We have a big kitchen that
We have a big kitchen that includes a dining room, a living room, a big bedroom, a big bathroom and really it takes up all the space. And the hallway is much bigger than upstairs
I'm afraid of how safe baby
I'm afraid of how safe baby will be upstairs with these kids, also. I mentioned that on one of her other posts. The kids hate her, they dislike the baby and are don't even try to pretend otherwise. Just doesn't seem to make much sense to put a baby up with a bunch of monsters.
Moving one kid downstairs to the master bedroom (now two empty rooms upstairs) makes more sense. Weasel husband and OP in one, baby in the spare. With the adults and the baby upstairs, watch all three girls smash themselves into the master bedroom downstairs in a flash.
When their cousins were over
When their cousins were over this summer, mid July, the three SDs were supposed to sleep together in the master bedroom. they spent one night together, screamed half the night, then the oldest one just went out, the middle one went to watch TV in the living room, the youngest one just slept through the night and husband said NEVER AGAIN.
plus, all of our things wouldn't fit in the smaller room. Since it's the only room in the house where we actually keep our things it's pretty crammed even when it's the bigo ne.
Is there not another bedroom?
Is there not another bedroom? If not then I totally understand op wanting the baby to gave a room. I don't understand why your dh doesn't want HIS child to have a room as well? So confused on why he is treating thus child different. Op I think you should talk yo from that perspective. Ask him why is he not treating all his kids the same? Sorry just doesn't make sense.
Honestely if the girls are that bad I wouldn't want my baby near them. But at the same time I would want my child to have a room too. Not fair in the slightest if the baby doesn't get a room too.
He says a baby doesn't need a
He says a baby doesn't need a room.
Because he doesn't think the
Because he doesn't think the baby needs a room, he doesn't think that this should be done, and that's why he doesn't want to deliver the message - because he doesn't even want it to happen.
that's what i thought..
that's what i thought.. :?
I've tried to caution the OP
I've tried to caution the OP over placing baby upstairs. My original suggestion I think was to smack baby in middle of living room. As long as her wimpy DH does not support this upstairs thing and the upstairs brats hate OP and the baby, this really isn't a matter of 'baby should have a room'. Of course baby should have a room and no three kids should have two apiece. Fairness in room division is not the issue going on in OP's home.
The father has no problem with baby staying right where it is as until he got this home kids were smashing in his bedroom for years. He doesn't give a flying hoot if Jr stays in the master bedroom for the next ten years. Doesn't bother him a twit. Fact he thinks OP is being silly. Second fact is he's chicken sh*t of the brats upstairs and they pretty much rule the roost. He has told OP he does not support this and will not help her in giving the baby a room.
My last suggestion today was for Dh, OP and baby to all move upstairs. I'm sure OP will find a 'reason/excuse' for why that's not possible either. I will imagine the next blog post we get will be 'the girls said no'.
Maybe people figured if the
Maybe people figured if the baby moving means the parents will move as well. Parents and baby sleeping in the same floor I'd just common sense in my book. Not leaving your child alone with people who hate you is a no brainer.
This whole story is absurd.
This whole story is absurd. Weather true or not.
Safety trumps fairness.
Safety trumps fairness.
There's no way in the world I'd put baby up there alone with 3 girls who hate me.
I would move all of the bedrooms to one floor.
That can't happen
That can't happen :?
Um, there are 6 bedrooms
Um, there are 6 bedrooms upstairs, and 3 girls, so how could you and your DH and baby not move upstairs? It would most likely chase the skid brats downstairs or (the older one) out of the house completely. Mission accomplished. :? :? :? :?
He doesn't want to move
He doesn't want to move upstairs. and he isn't going to.
Well, I think we're done
Well, I think we're done here. Apparently you are OK with bowing down to the wishes and whims of the balless boy wonder and 3 teenage brats. Best of luck with the room thing.
Might as well have your voice box removed while you're at it since NONE of the other 4 people living in that house give a hoot about what you say/want/think/feel. This room nonsense is just the beginning of the nightmare that will be your life. Those skids aren't going anywhere and have adult spousal status while you have the status of a toad.
Well i will spend a lot of
Well i will spend a lot of time upstairs because i have to take care of the baby, feed it, change it, etc.
Op that is just stupid where
Op that is just stupid where the hell does he think the baby will sleep and keep their things? I come on really he doesn't think the baby deserves a room too? Wow just wow. What an ass to do thus to his own kid! I'd sit him down tell him that if he wants to treat thus kid like it is nothing and let his other kids have everything and give this baby nothing then he can have them and you and the baby will leave.
I feel very strongly about thus its not just a room its that he doesn't care about this baby as he should. Something is wrong with that.
he thinks that babies in
he thinks that babies in general don't need rooms for themselves.
but i think they do
he said they can live here as
he said they can live here as long as they want to and they're not moving until they want to move.
and he won't go upstairs because he says its their space. he has no problem giving baby more space in our room, he says he's willing to put some of his things out to make room..but i just don't think it's a good idea
i dont want to make noise because then they will do the same and i dont want my baby to have to be woken up because of the bitches
No,he said that the upstairs
No,he said that the upstairs is SDs'
the ring leader is the middle one, she always flames up the oldest..like the oldest one doesn't give a fuck about anything but then the middle one goes like "are you really gonna let it happen? is that what youre like?" and stuff like that so she gets pissed and reacts.
If there are 6 bedrooms up
If there are 6 bedrooms up there then hell yea I'd be taking a room! Now while the baby is small it would stay with me mostly but I'd be take damn room and dare them to say or do anything. I'd give it right back to them but I'm bitch like that. You bet your ass I'd be decorating and putting baby furniture and baby things in one of the rooms and dare dh or the girls to say a fucking word!
As I said though while baby is small it'd be with me. Or I'd sleep in baby's room and let them all know how serious I am. That suit pisses me the hell off! Your dh OS an ass and I'd be calling him on that too. Bull shit bull shit bull shit!
Its not about the room its about your dh letting them rule the whole house and your lives. I'd be taking that back!
and what if they dare to do
and what if they dare to do or say something?
Kick their ass! It is bull
Kick their ass! It is bull shit. I would never sit there and that shit happen. If I couldn't get anywhere I'd be leaving. Sorry I can't get past your dh doesn't care about his own child enough to let it gave a bed room with that many bed rooms there us plenty if room. Your dh is spineless and I couldn't live that way.
Its not about bedrooms its about your dh kissing his kids asses and leaving you and his other child to fend for yourselves. Might as well be single at least your kid would have a room and feel safe.
Kick their ass ? like i
Kick their ass ? like i could.
he thinks that babies do not NEED a room.
and i couldnt even get a place to live on my own,let a lone give my child a room
I think you need to put it as
I think you need to put it as a statement to them. Not a demand or a question.
But first explain your point of view, then say "so either SDx will need to get her stuff out of room X, or you can all decide which room will be your sister's. Let me know by 2 pm this afternoon. If you can't decide, I'll take room X." Best to come across as nice, reasonable, calm but assertive. Record it if possible in case anything is thrown back at you later.
I'm not sure if you can say "your father and I discussed it.." if you did discuss it and he is not supporting the idea. It gives the impression he is supporting you when he isn't, and they will soon find out and use that against you.
HTH
That sounds good....thank
That sounds good....thank you,i'll say like that
Don't speak just move
Don't speak just move yourself and your baby in. When they ask tell them to ask their father. When your dh questions you let him read these blogs and tell him you will remain in that room until...he grows some balls and puts his kids in their place. No the kids will be leaving as soon as they are 18 {18 year old moves within 3 months he begins treating you as the second adult in the house or until you save the money to move out. Tell him you aren't living like this anymore and you will be living your life as you see fit. Then shut and lock your bedroom door
No,they won't be moving out
No,they won't be moving out when 18. he says theyre going to live there as long as they wish to
omg.
omg.
Here's what I would do, maybe
Here's what I would do, maybe I'm a bitch:
Tell Dh that I and baby are moving upstairs to occupy two adjoining rooms. Pick one for you that has a bathroom attached so it is basically a master. Tell DH he is welcome to join you if he wishes. That way I am next to baby at all times. There are clearly plenty of rooms up there. Hell, I'd even offer to let oldest girl move into the downstairs master. Then each of the two girls upstairs would still have two rooms.
Doesn't this solve ALL the problems?
That won't work.
That won't work.
(No subject)
Ah, I see it has already been
Ah, I see it has already been suggested and rejected. Why is she here if she won't do ANYTHING we suggest?
since you are reading a blog
since you are reading a blog about talking about moving the baby upstairs..obviously it's not true that i won't do ANYTHING.
and you're saying that as if
and you're saying that as if one of them can't shove me out.
my problem is that I don't have a position of power in this house and whatever I want,matter less than what they want.
Honestly, I can't believe
Honestly, I can't believe this discussion is still going on...haven't we been hearing this for a week now? I'm for one tired of reading it...yes, yes I know I don't have to, but honestly folks, do you believe this crap for one minute? You've all given her everything suggestion that is possible...MY SUGGESTION,....Get a divorce! Problem solved!