I won't suggest that you leave him bc I think you would regret it. Its really loving and patient of you on how you have reacted and done your best to support your husband. I can't imagine how mentally tiring that must be for you. Are you starting to develop hard feeling towards your husband over his reaction or lack of reaction towards the SD26?

I feel that if you are, you could be giving your husband wrong messages even though your trying to be strong and supportive. If you are willing to jump hoops for him, then it doesn't give him motivation to change the situation.

Does SD own this Island? If not, what is she really going to be able to do when you step foot on it? She needs tough love and she is the way she is bc it doesn't sound like her dad had put an end to her behavior towards you and himself for whatever given reasons. I see her dad as allowing it all the way to be honest. Should that be the case, the good news is that he can change things with or without his grown daughter. He should put his foot down with her and let her choose what she wants out of their relationship. By him doing so too, that will help her in the long run.

If you guys are a happy husband and wife without the SD issues, don't give her that much power and allow her to cause you and DH to break up or end up divorced. She doesn't reside with you which is huge and if she says "no" to your being there, then the answer should be "no" to you both coming. Her choice her loss, they are her emotions she will have to learn how to deal with. If your husband won't provide that for you guys as a pair that you are then he is not being a healthy father or husband.

Now if she wants one on one time with her dad, I think she should learn how to treat her dads wife with respect first. She is a grown woman and needs to grow up and start acting like an adult.

Dreadful situation. I face some of this myself in the years to come as my youngest stepchild, SS15 refuses to have a relationship with me. I can't see it changing as he grows up because unfortunately in step matters these children often seem to get stuck in a negative mindset about their stepparent and are then never able to reexamine things or let them go. Your husbands paralysis over the situation in which he won't even tell you about things is also par for the course with my own husband who would rather cut off a finger than confront these stressful emotional sutuations.

The way I see it, agreeing to accompany him on a holiday but not attend the wedding was a mature magnanimous choice on your part. He is undoubtedly in a difficult position so I see why he wanted to go and put up with his daughters silliness. However, her response takes petty and vindictive to new heights and in my view your husband should draw a line and tell his daughter that. Otherwise he's not just supporting her right to decide who attends her wedding, he's endorsing an obvious snd unacceptable act of spite. He should tell her that he loves her and wants to be at her wedding but her last condition is petty and unfair and he cannot attend if you and your son are not even allowed on the island, and she needs to move on and get over the grudge she has.

The main thing to remember is that for whatever petty reason this girls main aim is to get to you. If you leave your husband or allow her antics to divide you, she wins. Don't let her win, you and your family with DH are too important for that.

Oh and if he doesn't want to confront her about it he should just ignore her text and take you and BS to the island anyway as originally planned. Or stay on the neighbouring island of Skiathos, which is where the airport is anyway. It's a 50 minute boat ride to Skopalos and from what I read its overcrowded and a bit disappointing after the movie hype. If she tries to ban you from the greek islands, or Greece, or Europe it would be TOO hilarious! DH can island hop back to you after wedding and YOU won't need to worry about running into SD!

I think not even being on the same island is over the top ridiculous. It's one thing to say 'SM is not invited to wedding', but the frick'n island? Is your DH paying for this wedding?

OP, your SD is a nasty self entitled little witch...the saddest part is your husband totally entertains and enables this behavior out of her. I would not want to attend her wedding, but no way would my DH agree to leaving me home and off the island. She's taking 'control' to the max. Plan your own holiday. Take your son and go back to your old home and holiday with your daughters and their families. I wouldn't worry one more minute about SD's silly childish ways and her wedding.

Wow, not only not invited to the wedding but completely banned from the island, your SD has some serious issues. For me personally, I would be glad to not be invited to the wedding, you don't have to go and fake nice or that you're happy for her. But she doesn't get to say that your not allowed on the island, she's not the boss of you!!

In my experience with my SD everything is a struggle for power. She must know that she has the upper hand over me and that my DH loves her more than he could ever love me. That she will always come first and that DH's life revolves around her. SD does not understand that my DH's love for me and his love for her are two completely different things. She seems to be stuck like Step Aside said above, she will not evolve.

Your SD is still in the power struggle and your DH is allowing her to win. It is up to him to decide he won't allow this behaviour any longer. You are his wife and family, he should not allow her to blatantly disrespect you in such a way.

I was not invited to a HS graduation, and a college move in day, but we haven't had any weddings yet. But I don't think I'm far behind you with that. My opinion is your husband should just say to his daughter, ' if SLTJ isn't invited, then I won't be attending either'. Eventually, he has to step up and do this. It might make a difference and make her become more accepting and mature and it might not. My ex husband (yea I've been through this twice now) did that with his kids, and it was just a matter of time before they accepted me and marriage. My step sons were in late teens and early 20's when this happened. Incidentally, this was the advice that his own mother gave him once when she was visiting us. She asked why I wouldn't be going to dinner with them and he told her the kids want nothing to do with me, and she said, 'then you shouldn't be going to dinner with them either'. He didn't and that was the beginning of his standing up to them, and it wasn't long that things changed.

I guess I'm lucky - neither of my SS's ever graduated from anything or had a wedding. And horrible BM had the funeral for the older son without notifying DH that he'd died because DH had moved in with me. (20 years after their divorce)

Forget about not ever seeing the grandkid. Why would you want to? There are babies born everyday. Not your kid, not your grandkid.

You need to have a frank conversation with your DH about what the future is going to bring. And then you need to do what is best for you.

This would be a deal breaker for me; I could not live with DH allowing me to be disrespected this way by his family/child. I would lose all respect for him. But many of the ladies here are okay and it works for them. You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you.