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Showdown with DH . I held my ground

newbiestepmom25's picture

Submitted by newbiestepmom25 on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:22am

Ran into DH in a gas station on my way to work. He sees me and his face looks like he's seen a ghost. He tries to talk to me and I just mosey along ignoring him. He tried paying for my coffee. I took his money put in in my pocket and paid for my own coffee. He follows me out to my car.

DH: Hey Um I'm sorry I tried calling you yesterday

ME: No you didn't now move out of my way

DH: I love you and if you would have just let me explain

ME: explain what? That you’re a liar and a cheat. How you have been gone for four days how my friends caught you getting cozy with some trash while your wife is at home with your baby who you haven't even checked on.

DH: I just needed space maybe if you would shut up and listen we wouldn't be here. Maybe if you weren't always crying about something or accusing me or bringing up shit.

ME: I won't let you spin this around on me. YOU lied, YOU cheated, YOU walked out on your family, YOU did this.

DH: WOW you can never take responsibility when you do something wrong. All you think about is yourself. You probably only took that promotion so you could have more time to screw some guy at work.

ME: Move out of my way or I'm calling the cops I don't have time for this. You’re pathetic

DH: So that’s it you don't want to go to counseling and work this out

ME: There is nothing to work out

DH: I'm glad I left you then you’re such a bitch. You won't never find a man like me most guys treat girls like shit but I loved you I treated you like a queen.

ME: MOVE!

* He moves out of the way I get in my car and go to work.

I feel empowered. I made a promise to myself with the help of all of you that I won't let him talk his way into me taking him back ever again. I'm worth more and I will love myself and eventually someone will come along who will truly love me. I know I will have moments where I break down again but right now I'm not sad I feel kind of free actually like my heart isn't heavy.

Comments

evilstepmotherJ's picture

Submitted by evilstepmotherJ on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:25am

You did great! So strong and empowered. It's not easy, that I know. But you can walk with your head held high. What a jerk for trying to turn it around on you and passing blame. He sounds like a typical narcissist

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:27am

OMG!! That is how things go with my STB exH too!!! Its the "Im sorry" then immediately its "This is all your fault you stupid bitch"!!

(((Hugs))) Wish we could get together for real and have a good girls night!!

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:27am

>>WOW you can never take responsibility when you do something wrong. All you think about is yourself.<<

Ironic how his words actually apply to himself.

Glad you stayed strong. It gets easier with every day that passes.

*hugs*

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:56am

That's projection, he is projecting his issue onto her in an attempt to make her feel guilty of his behavior.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 9:05am

YUP! Totally agree. It's one of the top five signs of cheating husbands. Projecting their guilt onto their wives.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:41am

He' a piece of shit. I'm sorry. But in that one conversation, I can tell he's a man who never took responsibility for his actions EVER. He wants to put the blame always on other people and deflect the issues. \ Take some time for yourself and your kid. Guys like your soontobe EX will never change. Egos are big. Values are tiny. Good Luck and we are always always here for you!!

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:57am

Great job, remember that feeling of empowerment for the next time he attempts contact. You can do this!

new to this's picture

Submitted by new to this on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 8:59am

You did great. I hope that with every encounter you have with him like this just makes you stronger and you listen to what he is REALLY saying and see that HE is the one that can't take responsibility. Your husband should be PROUD of you for getting a promotion not use that against you. That is just crazy. If he really loved you he would NOT be cozy with another woman 2 days after you split up, he would be on his knees begging you to take him back. Hang in there, stay strong. You deserve someone so much better and will find them.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 9:01am

>DH: WOW you can never take responsibility when you do something wrong. All you think about is yourself. You probably only took that promotion so you could have more time to screw some guy at work.<

I couldn’t read anymore past this. Had it been me in your place, my fists would have started flying and the cops would have thrown my ass in jail. You showed remarkable restraint! I bow to you dear lady.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 9:23am

Projection. Exactly. It's YOU who can't admit to mistakes. It's YOU who doesn't want to work things out. It's YOU who is screwing some guy at work.

He is blaming YOU for all of HIS shortcomings!

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 9:41am

Wow, you did GREAT. "Most men treat girls like shit?" Uhm, no. He means HE treats girls like shit. Always has, always will, and in his mind it is ok because he's not responsible for anything. What a ridiculous manchild. This is not a role model you want for your actual child, so feel good about taking care of yourself! You will be SO much stronger and happier in the end.