Listen dear, your BS WILL have the happy family that he deserves because you will be DONE with that pathetic loser of a "husband" (and I use that term loosely!) Even if you spend BS's whole life being a single mom, your happy little family will be better than 18 years of disfunction with your H, BMs and skids.

You've got this girl, be strong! Just ignore him when he is there, don't let him see that he is getting to you. I don't know how invested you are in your house, but why not get a month to month lease somewhere where you and BS can go until you get a seperation agreement/divorce hashed out. You could always move back in to your house in a couple of months.

I know my lawyer told me not to change the locks when I found out my ExH was cheating on me, because it was his house too. I didn't give a shit, I had those locks changed that afternoon.

It is horrible that he is doing this but the sad fact is you can't make him leave. You are doing the right thing getting a place for you and your son. Cut off all the utilities that you can. When it comes time for the divorce make sure that you force him to sell the house or get you off the mortgage!! Stay strong. Get a U-haul and some friends and make sure to take as much as you can. It would be best if you did this while he was at work one day!!

(((Hugs)))

You are actually being very strong. You have not caved to him when he is trying to be nice.

You need to go see a lawyer ASAP. They can advise you much better than us.

If it makes things feel at all normal I had to live with my ex of 5 years for another year in the same 1 bedroom house... he got the rest of the house I got the bedroom. Surprisingly we kept our lives outside of the house ie he never brought one woman over even though he cheated on me the entire timeand we just lived our own lives.

Here's what my lawyer said, "change the locks, if and when he breaks in because legally he can it's his house too that's fine we'll add on the damages, anything he breaks or takes onto the divorce settlement, and if his breaking in scares you, makes you fear for the safety for you and your children, them we get an order of protection and now he CAN'T come into or near the house, but do not leave your property he can fight that you abandoned the property and then we have to fight to get it back." Don't leave make him miserable, lock the fridge shut off cable or password it so only you can access it invite all your friends and family over and instruct them to pretend he isn't there if he starts a fight or argument call the police on him call the emergency number. Make him screw up.

OH GIRL...I am so sorry. And man that will insist on his wife and baby living over him leaving has no heart. Your feelings of love is your heart in denial. This is the first stage of grief. I wish you well.

Do as the others said and also get a restraining order on his a$$.

>I asked him politely to please leave and he was yelling at me to leave and starting packing my stuff and throwing it saying I threw his sh*t out so he can throw out mines. <

You should have called the police right then and there! Two friends of mine got arrested for doing far less than what your soon-to-be ex did. And the ironic thing is that the two friends of mine I am speaking of were actually in the process of actually trying to peacefully leave their homes too.

You need to be safe! Do not under any circumstances be alone in the house with this guy. If you need to get your stuff, go get it, but get it with a friend and have 911 on speed dial. If your DH so much as raises his voice to you, CALL THE COPS!

I don't know what state you're in, but here, you can get a temporary order giving you the exclusive use of the residence until the final dissolution. You have a child full time. That child deserves to live in the same way it is accustomed to. It is the "best interest" of the child.

Check with your lawyer and see if you can get an emergency temporary order.

Temporary order may not work. To get him out of the house attorneys told me I would have to stay with friends, file for a temporary order, wait till the judge rules and MAYBE the judge would order STBX out of the house. And those "emergency" temporary orders still take two to three months to get.

The first attorney I hired told me I could stay in the house and get my STBX out by claiming he was abusive. He WAS abusive, however, since we were still living together, the judge didn't take my claims seriously.

My evidence: - a DV charge I had against him from several years previous
my statements of verbal abuse
the police statement that they were called to the house when he pushed me into a desk

Here was the judges ruling -

Facts:
-mother and father married 1998
-mother and father have two children
-In 2002 the father was arrested for DV
-It appears there was another incident between the parties in 2004
-The parties are still living in the same house
-This court can not determine by the preponderance of the evidence what happened between the parties since the 2004 problem

Conclusion:
Since the parties are still living together under the same roof, this court finds it does not have jurisdiction to remove the defendant from the home.

Motion is dismissed

I completely agree with monkeysee - filing false DV charges only makes it harder for real DV victims to be taken seriously.

If it were me, and I could afford to get an apartment and maintain my contributions to the mortgage, then I would get the apartment immediately. Why put yourself and your baby through the tension and unpleasantness of trying to cohabit with a man who is clearly not interested in trying to have a civil or amicable divorce. Some things are more important than property rights. If you move out and are no longer living in the property it is perfectly fair and reasonable to terminate any utilities in your sole name, on the basis that you are not resident and require the funds to support you and you baby.

It doesn't reflect well on him in any way that he intends to either put you through the discomfort of living with him while he plays these unpleasant games, or force you to move out. And I would think it would look bad for him in court if his wife and baby are forced to abandon the family home due to his unreasonable behaviour, while he stays on in splendid isolation in a house he cannot afford. If you keep up your share of the payments and keep evidence of those payments then you would surely retain your rights to the property regardless of whether you move out. He's the one that will lose out when his rude, hostile behaviour results in your moving out and taking your baby with you even earlier than might have been the case if he had been apologetic and civil, and you will pull the rug out from under him, removing his power to antagonise and upset you. Do not lower yourself to trumped up charges against him. You are better than that. As others have commented it trivializes the issue of domestic violence and disrespects the victims of real abuse to try to use those kinds of charges as a strategy to force him out or get revenge. Not to mention wasting police and court time that could be used dealing with those who genuinely need restraining orders.

I'm so sorry that you're going through all this pain and disappointment, but you're a smart capable woman, things will get better.

Sorry ladies (& Draco), you need to goad him into hitting you when he's drunk, get the restraining order and stay in your house. Why should your credit/life/baby's life be uprooted by this loser one more day? There's certain times in life (very few) that you have to fight dirty. What he's done to you in beyond unfair,then he has the nerve to not leave, time to jump into the pigpen with him just long enough to get the job done.

I'm sorry you feel that way but my advice still stands. Anyway check out her blog_ she's moving out.