Table manners don't apply to ss
I wouldn't say I'm uptight about table manners but there are certain things people just don't do... because it's disgusting. BM allows SS4 to eat with his hands at the table... FOR EVERY MEAL!!! Doesn't matter if it's eggs, salad, biscuits and gravy... he always tries to eat with his hands and hismouth wide open. I have lost my appetite more than once because of his atrocious table manners. The only reason I even really noticed this morning was because I could HEAR him eating cereal because he won't close his mouth unless I'm standing right there. I walked into the living room to see he was eating it with his hands as well... I was so disgusting, I just walked away.
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SD12 has gotten a little
SD12 has gotten a little better, mostly because of me. I had to endure 2+ years of hand eating, shoveling, touching common food in order to scoop some on her plate. The fried egg almost sent me over the edge. Of course, FDH never sees any of this. And I guess he and BM don't care if their kids turn into adults who can't even go on a date because of their atrocious eating style.
OH LMAO at the date comment -
OH LMAO at the date comment - I actually SAID that to SO and SD13 a few months back!!!
She eats like a pig, shovels in the food, slops in everywhere, talks with her mouth full, chews with mouth open - the usual disguting crap.
One day she was doing all this and made a mess on the table, OH told her to be more careful and she laughed (with mouth full of food) and says "Mum says I eat just like you (OH)"
He laughed along with her and was all so proud of his widdle bundle of joy....
I vomited a little in my mouth, recovered and said "You know, men can get away with being a bit gross when they eat, but sd13 - no boy is going to ask you out twice if you eat like that in front of them! You'll never get a second date because boys prefer girls who have some basic manners" (and this bit I thought to myself but held back - "or they also like girls who suck and f*ck - and you really don't want to be THAT girl just to get dates so learn some freaking manners")
I know some people consider
I know some people consider this over-stepping as we aren't the parents. But when my son's friends were over and acted like that at the table, I said something and I don't see this as different. I think it can be done nicely. In my case, I've said things like "SD, please use your knife and fork to eat your egg. Fried eggs really are not meant to be eaten by hand". She has gotten a lot better since I have started speaking up here and there. If her parents aren't going to teach her then someone has to. And it can be done in a nice, calm, helpful way. And I have learned not to look at her as much when eating.
Oh, I have. Multiple times.
Oh, I have. Multiple times. I've just started taking his food back whenever he's been told multiple times. I don't like the idea of taking a child's food but when it comes to practically seeing the food all the way from prep to digestion to elimination (he rarely flushes as well) it's just too much for me.
This drives me bonkers too.
This drives me bonkers too. Ss is 5 and he seems to be regressing with the whole using a fork/spoon, I'm not sure why but i've noticed that his using his hands to eat has increased in the past few months. My only theory is I know bm has been pretty much living with her boyfriend so Ss is with his nana less and she's the one who teaches/enforces the manners. Ss also chews with his mouth full of food/talks with mouth full, it kills me because Dh doesn't do anything so I've started speaking up because it's disgusting to sit across from anyone while they slapping their jaws open and closed, smacking noises and all while eating. ugh. what is with these parents not teaching their kids manners?? I always wonder if they think it's cute or something!?
I just live Here - seems to
I just live Here - seems to me that BOTH BM and your OH are to blame here, not *just* BM!!
Ok, maybe ss4 is with BM more than your OH (sorry do not know your back story) however your OH can choose to parent his son. Eating with his hands?! :jawdrop: Nasty.
My own SS at that age wasn't quite that bad, but he would always eat with his mouth open and only with a fork, sadly neither DH nor BM thought this was unacceptable. Granted at age 4, most kids forget to always eat with their mouth closed and will make table etiquette errors, however a simply "please eat with your mouth closed and use your knife." is not brain surgery.
Time to talk to your OH and tell him how disgusting this will look. I would tell OH you do not want ss's future blighted from a simple matter of eating with proper cutlery and with his mouth closed. I would mention to OH how will his peers, potential nice girlfriends and employers like to see an adult male eating like an animal :O
For the past two months he's
For the past two months he's been almost exclusively with BM. We moved to another state and she had him for the summer. And dh should enforce it more, it's definitely a conversation that needs to happen.
I was just reminded of one of
I was just reminded of one of my "favorite" food maneuvers by SD. Take the fork and stab the entire piece of meat. Hold the fork up to your face and proceed to take bites of the meat that way. It prevents one from every having to use a knife. Why didn't I think of that? Seriously hope she never has a job interview that takes place over a meal.
Oh wow, snap again - ss10
Oh wow, snap again - ss10 does that!!
My actual comment in response to the OP was going to be about ss10.
He only used a knife and fork for the first time at my dinner table - when he was almost 9....
You should have seen the pride on OH's face, why he even teared up a little he was so overcome with how amazing his son is - using cutlery!!!
Afterwards he commented to me about how great it was that ss had used a knife and fork (he didn't want to comment at the table and draw ss's attention in case he regressed to eating with his fingers again!!!) He actually expected ME to gush over the wonder of his sons amazing achievement as well....
OH.MY.GOD
Almost 9 years old. And had only ever had finger food - cereal was never an issue - he has "up'n'go" for breakfast (liquid supposedly healthy meal replacements) as BM is too lazy to get him up in time to feed him a proper meal.
Well, I am proud to say nearly 2 years on we have him eating cereal, toast, sandwiches, soup (OMG - yes he mastered a soup spoon - no more mug-a-soup), actual meals with a knife and a fork - he does however spear the food with his fork and eat it caveman stye. Oh well, baby steps. I expect by 18 we may have to gush over his mastery of the knife....
Of course (forgot to add) -
Of course (forgot to add) - he still can't actually MAKE himself toast, a bowl of cereal of a sandwich - f*ck me. My 7yo can do all of that (apart from actually REACH the toaster LOL)
I have worse here cause my SS
I have worse here cause my SS is 11yo and he is using fork and knife rarely + it is so embarassing to go to a restaurant with him. He literally dips his fingers in the sauce and sucks them!
The DH doesn't even notice. If we are out, I tell SS that we are not caveman and he needs to pay attention. Then it gets DH's attention and he says "shes right, eat like a human".
Not to mention that he doesn't wash his hands after doing this, uuggghh
Wish you patience with all that