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O/T Heartbeat

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 4:54pm

I went to my doctor today and heard the heart beat. I was not even supposed to have a prenatal appointment but he wanted to do a checkup anyways. OMG I nearly cried in the Dr. office. SO is still out of town so he was not able to be there and this just broke my heart. Thanks to BM who pushed for a generous access schedule SO is stuck paying 100% CS/SS/ and all section 7 expenses so he had to go back to his old job. Now SO is missing things like hearing his baby's heart beat for the first time. I recorded it for him now am sitting at home listening to it over and over! I hope it takes the blow off of him when he finds out what he missed.

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lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 9:26am

I was a little upset and am a little upset about it yes... I wasnt supposed to have a checkup and dr didnt want to wait. If bm wasnt so greedy and money thirsty I would not be spending 50% of my time/pregnancy on my own! It is slightly upsetting. We are struggling to make ends meet and properly feed our family while BM is off at the bar every weekend or traveling to god knows where.

So yes when he has to start going out of town to work to support her partying habbit via spousal support that she clearly does not need. I get upset seeing that had he been in town working and the dr decided to listen to the heart beat he would have been there. I am very bitter that BM has managed to nigate my ability see my SO every night and go through my first pregnancy with my SO.... I am trying to let it go however, those feelings come racing back when things like this happen! I know it is not good or healthy to sit there being unhappy and blame her when I should be happy I am trying really hard to start seeing things differently thanks to this forum fact still remains its atill bothering me.

And Thankyou! It was a bitter sweet day.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 10:11am

That is the thing I chose to get pregnant when SO was not working away he had to make that choice when I was a mere 2 months pregnant.. I think it is just something I have to let go of. I could end up being very angry and unhealthy if I let this anger continue!

SO was working two jobs and even at that our debt was growing it is just what is in the cards for us. I need to accept that and move on!.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 10:46am

I get a little mad at him sometimes yes! It is what he had to do to make sure we could get out of debt and not be drowning with a new baby I get that. It really depends how he handles his days off... is he going to take skids to day care during the day so he can go work his second casual job while he has them?If he doesn't you bet I will be mad at him! That being said it doesn't feel right demanding that.

Yes I am working aswell working rediculous hours when I am pregnant non the less...
I do harbor some negative feelings towards SO for all of this but the fact is he is trying to fix it. He wants to work out of town just about as much as I want him to. Infact I think he hates it more then I do we made this choice together so I really have no right to be mad at him. No I shouldn't be as mad at him... BM does not need that money she is being a selfish gold digger by expecting SO to support her when she has the capacity to maintain a comfortable household on her own without spousal support. That is the sole reason I am angry with her over SO.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 10:59am

You are right and so smart Echo ug... I am unsure what exact game she played just know we knly have spousal for the tkme frame of her schooling so it could be much worse! My understanding is she cried primary giver even though she has always been employed my guess is SO kind of screwed himself over working out of town their entire relationship. She has admitted she intends on keeping him away from home and did during their marriage because he makes more.
Either way I dont go to court so I cant speculate time for me to move on thanks for the chat echo you alwYs seem to bring clarity. As much as sometimes I dont like hearing it ;).

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Thu, 09/19/2013 - 11:58am

Isnt that crazy!! I think SO is constantly amazed when I support him even when it means I wont be comfortable. .. its sad to see the emotional fallout from that long of a relationship. These men seem to think this is how life goes and have no idea what a nourishing partnership is. SO was with BM for 10 years his is very fortunate with the support judgement and its length.