Telling your kids the truth!
I want to make it very clear that keeping something like who their bio parents are is wrong! No matter how much you think you are protecting them you are NOT! Telling the truth the always the best for everyone but best of all for the kid. Even if you don't tell them as a kid tell them when they turn 18 or 21 at least! THis is NOT fun at all. I have more hurt feelings and being mad at the fact I wasn't told for almost 40 years then I do for my mom not saying anything when I was a kid.
So if you think it will hurt your kid more as an adult then it did as a kid you are so wrong. Please just remember the truth is always better.
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I was adopted as a baby, and
I was adopted as a baby, and always knew. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to have been told later in life.
It just seems selfish on the
It just seems selfish on the 'parents' for not telling for fear of losing your kid. That is why my parents didnt tell me. And the fact mom was embarrassed. If can understand if the other bio parent is abusive or something like that. But to not tell b/c you were embarrassed and wanted to 'save face'? NO!!!
ETA: the only reason you have a fear of losing your kid is b/c you know you did something that warranted it.
My cousin went through
My cousin went through something similar. Her father was Native American. She is blonde haired, blue eyed. She thought her SF was her BF...until kids in High School started calling her half-breed. My aunt STILL didn't tell her the truth.
Until after the SF sexually assaulted her. Does it make it better that the man who sexually assaulted you wasn't your REAL father. He bailed before you were even born.
I had a close friend and
I had a close friend and neighbor that was adopted. My mom knew it and my sister and I did, but we never told our friend. When she was in her early 20's her mom told her she was adopted, but nothing more, and guess she didn't ask. When she was older and had some health issues her mom finally told her that the woman that she knew as Aunt Mary (adopted mom's sister) was really her mother. Aunt got pregnant when she was younger and she gave her baby to her sister to raise. My friend wasn't devasted by it, she said it just seemed to all fit into place once she found out. She was always very close to her Aunt, but considered the people who raised her as her parents.