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Being good friends with your ex(es)

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:01pm

Brie's blog got me to thinking about this. What do you think about it?

I'm friendly with some of my exes. We don't go out to lunch or anything but are friendly when we do see each other.

Some people remain good friends with their exes. It seems to be semi-common among celebrities. Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley are godparents to each other's kids. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore have remained friendly. Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac have remained friendly. So I say if it works, good for them!

I think it depends on the situation and people involved.

Comments

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:24pm

I don't like it or understand why!! I get along with my ex for the kids sake and the sake of Co parenting but I do not consider us to have a personal r/s slash friendship, I also don't think I could handle dating a guy who is friendly with an ex. It's just not for me

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:25pm

I'm on good terms with an ex from high school, I worked with his sister who I babysat for back then I adore his wife and we all have hung out for holidays before and it's so not weird, but neither of us carry a torch had kids or anything like that we dated for 2 years then broke up, didn't see each other for years till I worked with his sis. I thought the day would come when exh and I could be friends, but I realized that I married a man I so wouldn't hang out with. Ever. I do not like the person he's become.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:38pm

I have 1 bf I am friendly with but to be fair so is my dh. See we live next door to him and his gf and his mom lives next to us too. But we have no kids or anything like that either.

I am not on friendly terms with my ex and neither is dh with his, it is due to lies they both have told about us. cant be friendly with someone who is like that.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:39pm

To each their own.. Blum 3

I'm friends with my ex DH of 9 years. My current DH and I are called Aunt and Uncle Starla to his kid.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:56pm

My ex wanted to be friends and then proceeded to blow through boundaries and ruin several relationships I have had. He finally got into a serious relationship with a lunatic and now we are no longer friends because it bothered her. When it bothered the guys I was with he did not care about other's feelings. I told him it wouldn't work and he would not leave me alone. Thankfully he is psycho's problem now.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 6:56pm

I wouldn't say we are "friends" but we are friendly... I think there is a difference. I am not going to invite him over to watch the game tonight, I will invite my friends.

I think if we were able to maintain a healthy FRIENDSHIP, then we would have stayed married.

That's just MHO though. To each their own.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 8:03pm

DH has an ex that he's very close friends with. She dated him for about 8 months before he met BM3 and married her. He really liked this lady, and their kids were really good friends, but they weren't on fire for each other. After 8 months of dating, her high school sweetheart got out of the military and looked her up. He professed his undying love for her. She kind of told DH that he needed to fish or cut bait. DH was honest with her about his feelings for her, and suggested she give things with her old beau a try. She did, they're married, CRAZY in love with each other, and both close friends with DH.

My BFF is my high school sweetheart and first love. We dated all through high school. He's as gay as the day is long, but could never have come out in high school. He was only out to me for a long time, and even now, he isn't completely out. He's very private about his personal life. We live across the country from one another, but he flies up to see me and I fly down to see him. I kept his son for the summer when his partner of 8 years passed away unexpectedly. He adores my DH and DH adores him right back.

Other than that, I don't really have any significant exes that I have any contact with. And other than SoccerMom, DH isn't friendly at all with any exes.

Sunflower1's picture

Submitted by Sunflower1 on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 8:14pm

I'm friends with a couple of my exBF but we where friends before dating and realized shortly into the relationships that it would be better if we stayed that way. My exH, I am cordial to, but we don't chat, go to lunch or anything like that, he's not a person I want in my life, hence the divorce.