Uh, no BM that's not going to happen
The minute BM found out we bought a house and the weekend we are moving (FDH wanted to have FSD because she’s super excited) she has been trying to make up reasons why she should drop FSD off rather than us picking her up first thing in the morning. This from a woman who has never, ever done a drop off, FDH always does pickups and drop offs. She claims it would be the perfect time to meet me and see our house. She gets the chance to meet me every time we drop FSD off, but she peeks out the door, hustles FSD in a shuts it super-fast. FDH told her that if we couldn’t pick her up in the AM we would just take her the next week (it’s not his weekend). Boy, she changed her tune after that (must have a party to go to). She did ask why it was a problem for her to drop FSD off though, FDH simply told her that it was going to be a busy day of back and forth and we wouldn’t be able to tell her where we would be at any given time. The nerve of this woman! I personally think she is nosey and wants a chance to take inventory of our new home. I also wonder if she just wants to meet me when she knows I’ll look like crap, she is beautiful from what I’ve been told, but I hold my own (I modeled for a number of years and still do commercial print). Plus moving is stressful enough without adding us meeting. I don’t want her to go through our home anyway, she trusted FDH enough to procreate with him, and she should trust him to have a safe location for FSD. Anyway, FDH has made it clear she is not welcome to just stop in (drop off or otherwise) so fingers crossed we won’t have to worry about it.
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"see our house". HELL NO.
"see our house". HELL NO. Does she think she's getting a damn tour?
I think that's why she wants
I think that's why she wants to do the drop off. She knows FSD is excited so of course FSD is going to want to give her a tour. It blows my mind. Also, and this is going to sound petty, but it feels like she is trying to piss on my territory before it's really mine. This is a big day for FDH and I. He's never bought a house and in second relationships you get so few firsts together (I've bought a home, but I haven't had a child so that will be a first for me that he gets with me, does that make sense?).
(((HUGS))) that makes a lot
(((HUGS))) that makes a lot of sense. I felt this way when DH and I bought our house and it was a first for both of us, but it was his kids who I felt was trying to piss all over the territory and claim their house as "theirs" -AKA- mini wife syndrome.
I'm so glad I don't have to
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this.
Lol. My dh gave BM a tour. He
Lol. My dh gave BM a tour. He paid dearly for that. Good thing this Fh has his head on straight. She's jealous and curious, let her fester I say.
One of the few times our BM
One of the few times our BM ever stepped up and wanted to "drop off" was when we were in the process of moving into a new house. Except she didn't tell anyone, she just brought the SK's over, walked in the house and started looking around (all the doors were open because of the in/out moving). My DH was out back and I was putting stuff away in the pantry; when I walked out of the pantry THERE SHE STOOD looking at our stuff. And had the nerve to think she was going to give herself the grand tour....
Just say NO. And I give your FDH kudos for setting those limits!
She'll have the address, I
She'll have the address, I hope she doesn't do what your FH's ex did. Skin crawl...
Be prepared for her to walk
Be prepared for her to walk herself right on in. I hate to say it like this but for a while at least you need to position yourself in front of the door if she drops skid off so that she doesn't think she can walk in. I had to flat out tell BM a couple of years ago (after she literally pushed me aside to walk in)that she was NOT welcome inside my home until I decided that she was allowed. She thought that since it was DH's house before I moved in that she could do what she wanted. HELL NO. Laying it all out worked for me, and now me and BM are pretty cool with each other- SS is the one I have issues with.
There is never a reason for
There is never a reason for the BM to be in your house....
It's a jealousy issue. She
It's a jealousy issue. She wants to compare yours to hers. My BM does it, I think they all do. She thru a fit when she found out we got SD a toddler bed but guess what.....two weeks later she went out and bought one. And they like to make snide little comments. You for sure want to set boundaries early on
I agree. Which is why we are
I agree. Which is why we are saying no. I wish that FDH could just text her that she is being highly intrusive but that would open a whole different can of worms and he doesn't want a fight (he prefers to disengage).