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So far so peaceful

Lalena75's picture

I had surgery yesterday. This puts me off my feet longer than I was initially led to believe. Originally the PA said "oh you'll be right back to normal activity" but that didn't seem right since they were going to be cutting into my leg. Sure enough day of comes around doc tells be 2-3 weeks before he wants me doing much of anything. I had made some arrangements for SO's kids my parents stepped in with them so that SO could focus on me during and right after surgery, tomorrow they are helping as my son has his last game and SO is really going to have to help me out.
Point is everyone has been great, SO's kids are either being better than normal or since I'm mostly stuck in bed it's like auto disengagement lol. My normally lazyish ds has been extremely obedient bordering on subservient, no-argumentative and super helpful to me which has also freed up SO more than we'd thought so he can pay attention to his kids. Because my ds has been so awesome SO played with him for an hour which was weird since what they were playing my ds hasn't played with in a long while but tonight he did and they had a blast. So I watched a movie with SO's kids in turn. My dd has had to work but got up an hour early to take me to get some things I needed before she went to work since I also can't drive.
It's been nice watching and listening to the whole house work together and get along to take care of me. Maybe I should play sick once in awhile. The bad part is I'm seriously in pain, and discomfort. I'm not sure how I'm getting to classes next week since I can't drive, and even though I knew I'd be on crutches for court with my exh I'm so miserable I really don't want to go and even more mad since I found out he's emotionally blackmailing the kids. He filed for cs mod, due to making less (his choice) just lost that job but got another making what he was when cs was originally set which would make the modification pointless.
However he told the kids that I am not to be told or know about the new job because he'll lose it if his new employer has to deal with CSE. I found out because I have parental controls on my ds's cell and the convo was right there so I checked dd's cell similar texts how if ANYONE finds out about this new job it'll all be screwed he'll be homeless and the poor guy he works for really needs his help so they'd be hurting him too by telling anyone about it. (meaning don't tell your mom) I feel bad for my kids, but I have enough for court even without that info from my kids to prove he has ability to pay, regardless a judge will decide based hopefully on whats best for the kids.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Well now, isn't that just a dandy load of weight to dump on a child/teen. I'm surprised he stopped short of 'Dad will be homeless, might even starve to death if he isn't murdered first while living out in the long cold winter' (rolls eyes). Poor kids. Bad enough he's involving them in court stuff but to put fear and/or guilt on their shoulders? Jerk. I wonder if your ex is working under the table if CSE would be such a 'hardship' on the boss guy. Automatic payroll deductions for CS wouldn't be any more difficult than any of the standard deductions from a paycheck.

You might think about renting a wheelchair to spare yourself the weight on your leg while out and about (you'd be in a mess on the floor if someone accidently knock your crutches in a crowded hall/store), unless Dr wants you to do the walking to rebuild strength in your leg. On the upside, kids are being helpful and behaving, yay kids.

Justme54's picture

You think he is getting paid cash? Is this a temp. job? If he wants CS modified, what is he going to say?

Lalena75's picture

From other sources he's probably getting cash atm and it sounds like exh weedled his way into "helping" my exh can when he wants be a great asset as an employee especially if he feels he really is helping someone improve their business/lot in life, as long as that person feeds his ego and makes him feel good. Not really sure how he plans to go about explaining his need to modify since we go through CSE and I get public assistance though not much the state will have a lawyer to protect their interest which is him paying to avoid the state giving me more. Right now my services is based on what he's supposed to be paying (and of course my income which isn't crapp atm hoping I get a new job offer soon) instead of what he's actually been paying which is 200$-300$ less a month what he's supposed to. I'm more ticked he's hurting the kids than wanting to modify which also hurts them but I just end up shutting down the extras like cable and such. Though I am now billing him for our sons sports which he's never paid and I've never pushed, I'm going to just follow the CO and stop letting him off the hook for the other stuff he's supposed to pay half of.
Crutches seem to be working the doc didn't specify other than he'll see me Monday and stay off the bad one. My dad is going to drive me to classes and one of my classmates who lives on campus said he'd meet me at the car and help me out, carry my books and such.
I let SO sleep in since he's been such a doll helping me. My ds and his 2 helped me get breakfast, do some laundry sd helped me do my hair and makeup since I couldn't stand at the mirror she did a good job for being 7 she said "your so pretty without lots of makeup I didn't know you even wore makeup." (I don't do heavy makeup light and natural) she had fun and braided my hair too.