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For those who are BMs, how do you share holidays with your exes?

Anon2009's picture

I don't know that I could do that. It makes me glad my exes and I never had kids.

Now, I would act gracious about it for the kids. That's what all the adults should do. But I would miss my kids like he11 on the holidays I didn't have them. Idk that I'd like seeing them celebrate with another woman. But again, that's just something I'd have to learn to adapt to and deal with in a healthy, positive way for my kids.

I feel for all moms and dads who deal with this. It must be painful for them. I see how dh misses his kids when they're not here on holidays. But hopefully all parents can learn to deal with it graciously and gracefully. I admire and respect all you moms and dads who do Smile

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SM with BM from hell's picture

It's def hard when they are young but my ex and I split the day. Up until my DS was 5, I had him in the am and he got him in the evenings. Now we do every other holiday and rotate each year. This year I have thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, and so far it's working for us. I think when I put his needs ahead of my own it makes it better.

stepmonster_2011's picture

I have my DDs for most holidays - but that's because my family is local, my ex's family lives a 3.5 hour plane ride away. For Christmas, he takes Christmas eve and early Christmas morning. Then the girls come here, and then we head to my family gathering.

In fact, we get along so well now - that my ex is invited to most of my family's holidays. He doesn't always come, but he's always invited.

The times that he does plan trips to visit his folks? He tells me what he's thinking far enough in advance that we can both schedule around it.

CommittedMomma's picture

We worked out a way the split the day in our parenting plan. Now, we get along great and make accomodations for her to be with whoever she needs to be with for family celebrations.

Disneyfan's picture

Why in the world would you marry/ stay with a man who loves another woman???

You're quick to tell posters to kick out men who mistreat them, yet you continue to hang onto this guy. Why???

zerostepdrama's picture

We don't really have a set schedule.

Since BS lives with me and my ex doesn't get to see him as much (due to living 45 minutes away, no car and works on weekends)I usually let him have BS on the holidays. It's the only time that Ex can get off work and BS is off school.

Both of our extended families live far away so the holidays aren't really that big of a deal. Since he has a uncle that lives close by and they do something on Xmas day I let my ex have BS Xmas afternoon and then he keeps him for a few days after.

The first year we were separated it really sucked for me. I was alone for Xmas, as I couldn't travel since I was getting BS back in a couple of days and I had to work. So that was hard.

The past 3 Thanksgiving I let my ex have BS because I didnt have any big plans. This year I kept BS because I decided to cook and do dinner and ex was fine with that.

Disneyfan's picture

??????