Oh the hilarity of it all...
So last night, DH gets home from work with SD8. I've got the crud and have been feeling rotten since the weekend. This is my last week at my current position at work so I have people pulling at me from every angle and I'm stressed about the new position that begins on Monday and requires a lot of travel.
Read this as "I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!".
They are standing in the doorway and he asks her about homework, which she has of course. He tells her to get it done before dinner and she whines, "Do I have to do it NOW?" and I wait...I just wait to see what he says to her. Sick and irritated, I wait...and I hear, "Well, no, but it needs to be done before dinner is ready." And she replies "What time will dinner be ready?" WHAT? I looked over at the two of them and in my best crud-infested snarl (unable to help myself) I say, "Why can't you just TELL her to GO DO IT NOW?! Why are you NEGOTIATING with an 8 YEAR OLD?!" He turns around and they just stare at one another for what seems like an eternity. Then they walk away.
So I take that as a small win...I get to say what I WANT to say AND I make the two of them go away.
Did she do her homework? Don't care.
- esm for too long's blog
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My DH does this with SD6.
My DH does this with SD6. He's always negotiating. I get onto him about it all the times because it makes her an annoying kid. When I say No or say to do something, I MEAN IT. Don't ask me again, tack on a 'pleaseeeeeee?' or explain to me why I should change my mind. Shut up & do what I say. Lol!
My DH did this last night at
My DH did this last night at the grocery store with SS7. He came home and told me "Never take a 7 year old to the grocery store. They can't make up their minds!" I replied "Why are you asking him.? Buy the groceries and he will eat if he's hungry. Don't cater to him about what to buy! Just get the damn groceries!" LOL
My ex negotiates with my bios
My ex negotiates with my bios and it takes me two days to undo a visit with their dad because they come back thinking that I'll negotiate 3 cookies instead of 2, 10 more minutes on bedtime etc. etc. etc. it really is a disservice to the kids and frustrating! Kudos for speaking your mind!
Reading this is like reading
Reading this is like reading a blog post of mine from a year ago. DW never believed in being authoritative with SS. She was constantly negotiating, sweet-talking and rationalizing with SS. Now look at the mess my SS is in now. He is struggling through middle school and is having problems with one particular teacher who runs a tight ship and doesn't stand for any bullsh*t from any of her students. You don't do the work? Detention. You whine? detention. A few seconds late for class? detention. Eyes are somewhere else other than on your work or on the blackboard? Detention.
DW thinks the teacher is a mean bitch. I'm thinking of giving her a bottle of wine for Christmas.
I am so tired of this too.
I am so tired of this too. DH doesn't even ask them to do homework, chores or take a bath. I am in charge of my bios like white-on-rice, so the skids literally bunk in my living room all weekend long, every weekend, no bath, no toothbrushing, no homework (used to eat candy that he or MIL buys for them daily- their teeth are rotten and smell like a corpse- and stash the wrappers into the couch cushions and wipe buggers on my furniture. That finally stopped with the new furniture arrival, but it used to be so gross. SD11 used to sleep on the couch and pee on it during the night, it just stopped recently)... OMG the endless stories...
>SD11 used to sleep on the
>SD11 used to sleep on the couch and pee on it during the night,<
I feel for you there.
My home is the "couch graveyard" of the neighborhood. All the children (and the dog) have peed, puked and spilled juice and soda pop on them.
Yup...This here is my house....Where couches come to die!
I guess all I can say at this
I guess all I can say at this point is BRING ON THE TRAVEL.
But seriously...it's sad that I can look forward to being away from my home two weeks at at a time for 6 months (two weeks away, one week at home, come home every weekend though), hopeful they'll get their :sick: out of their systems so that MAYBE he and I can put our marriage first once in a while.
I love my DH so much and I know he loves me, it's just that this crap that I contend with makes him SO unattractive to me. I'm looking forward to the break from HER!
Spouses really don't understand that how they behave with their children is a reflection of how people view THEM. He seems so weak and whiney to me and I know he's not like that, just when it comes to those KIDS.
UGH!
This sounds entirely too
This sounds entirely too familiar...are you sure you're not in my house??? At least she's sort of still young at 6, but maybe that's bad news for you that my SD8 still does it...
And it's also similar that if *I* say something to her, it gets done. I can, however, count on my hand the number of times I have walked into her room while they were into it and said "THAT'S ENOUGH" (I have a loud booming voice when I need to), tell her to do it and she freaking does it. To that end, when I ask her in a more calm voice to do something, it gets done. Why can't it be that simple for him?? It's how I am with my kids. I demanded respect from them as they were growing up and got downright hateful about it when I needed to (which was rare because they understood it), and I loved my kids no less than he loves the one he coddles.
Appropriate discipline is the strongest form of love between parents and children, NOT CODDLING.
I've told him before. Imagine her 15 years from now whining to a manager at her job, rather imagine how you would expect her to respond and make her respond that same way to you or else she will NOT LEARN HOW TO BE A RESPONSIBLE, RESPECTFUL ADULT!!!!!!! God, these kids will not be handled with kid gloves in the real world! The best thing we can do as parents is make them ready for it!
Man, my soapbox is big today. }:)
This was supposed to be a
This was supposed to be a reply to Sunny...DUH.
Definitely sounds like my house! And my DH says the same thing...why don't you ask her more often? REALLY? And risk the look I get from him? Nope...nada...like someone's signature says "Not my monkey, not my circus"...I told him he needs to learn to communicate with her the same way I do, why should *I* have to do it when he is perfectly capable? UGH.
Oh yeah...and well her bedtime is at 8:30...so that's why they start arguing about at 8:25 for her to go brush her teeth, put on her pull-up (yes, I know), brush her hair and THEN we go have story time and Daddy lays with her until she falls asleep, which I usually don't see him until about 10PM...
I guess they start counting bedtime as the time they start trying to get ready to go to bed. :?
Girl I think we definitely live the same life!