Second Semester's Results are in
The Good news: All the teachers have noted that SS is not so disruptive in class as he was in the previous semester. He still has his "off" days, but most days he does put in the effort. He passed Art. His teacher wrote that she was really pleased with him. His mark from an F to a B+. In gym, he also got an A+.
The Bad news: He's failing Math and English comprehension. The English teacher said that according to the rubric assessment, SS has the reading skills of a someone in grade 6. SS failed his math exam (41%) which brought his mark down considerably in that subject. The math teacher told us that unless SS is capable of scoring at least a 75% on the final exam, SS will have to go to summer school. Oh, and SS was told to bring his math exam home for the parents to sign. He "forgot" to do so.
DW sat in shocked silence listening to some of the teachers say the exact same things I have been telling DW 6 months ago. SS needs to read/study more. He needs to understand the assigned study material, not just try to remember things and regurgitate them verbatim.
DW has a huge problem with SS’s math teacher. She’s strict and runs a tight ship. For example, if SS walks into math class but forgot his geometry set, the math teacher slaps him with a detention. Students were warned well ahead of time that they'll be doing geometry that day. The math teacher doesn’t give any student in her class any leniency. Normally in the past, teachers would ask students if they have the material they needed for class and if any of them didn’t, they would be given 5 minutes to go fetch them from their lockers. Since SS has trouble remembering simple things like this, he is often in trouble with the math teacher.
I for one think it is a good thing. SS hates getting in trouble and this semester he has shown that he is capable of turning himself around when disciplined. DW believes that because SS has ADHD he should be shown more leniency. I argued with DW stating that the school warned us that this year there is no IEP for children with ADD or ADHD. It is phased out. SS has to learn to deal/find ways to remember what materials to bring to class, just like any other student. He could make notes for himself, draw up a list, organize his locker, etc. There are plenty of methods. Again, this is something I wanted SS to learn to do MONTHS ago but these ideas are like most ideas in our household. They are great ideas but sputter out and die more quickly than they formulated.
Now DW wants to speak to the vice-principal on the matter. She wants to switch SS out of the math teacher’s class for a new one. I told her if she wants to do that, she is on her own. I do not support that idea. I want to get SS a tutor that specializes in dealing with ADD/ADHD kids. Problem is, they’re expensive, but money is not the issue at the moment. For the moment, DW has a bee in her bonnet about the math teacher, so we are at an impasse of sorts.
Who knows? Maybe SS will get switched out for a more lenient (less strict) math teacher and SS will do well. But how long can DW keep doing that? It doesn't seem right to me. But this is the path she wants to take.
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The problem is that DW is
The problem is that DW is projecting herself far too much into this situation. DW was a victim of racism when she was in high school. This prompted her to drop out. She recalls her parents intervening on her behalf. Her teachers smiled and assured the parents that "everything was well and good". They then turned around and made DW's high school life even more difficult. While DW's stories of what she went through bought a tear to my eye, SS is NOT a victim here.
DW needs to stop handing SS
DW needs to stop handing SS all his excuses. Effort needs to be put in for SS to be successful. In the real world, no boss is going to allow special consideration for ADD or ADHD, the boy needs to adapt how he does things, not everyone around him has to adapt.
Seriously, the math teacher isn't the problem.
In short.....your DW wants to
In short.....your DW wants to change his math teacher because she holds her students accountable for their actions and decisions? Good or bad?
When I got dropped the ball in school, my parents rode my ass. They didn't complain to the teacher. The supported the teacher and told me to shape up or else.
With my parents, I preferred not to know what "or else" would look like.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.....disengage...disengage.....disengage. You cannot help this kid, as his mother is a huge obstacle.
Same as H with the skid.......his recent decisions and actions are turning her into an irresponsible, entitled young woman. He is turning her into a non-whorey version of Uberskank.
Your wife is wrong, Draco.
Your wife is wrong, Draco. She's trying to 'help' SS but she's holding him back. If the kiddo is going to get through life he's got to take responsibility. Once he's taught himself how and the steps he needs to make routine, he'll master this (yes she can give him tips on how to if it makes her feel she doing something to 'help' him...because in reality she'd be giving him more needed and appropriate help than running to the VP will).
She can start with getting him a math binder. Inside is a zipper case for his kit (no, he won't need it every day but it will be there to use on the days he will and he won't have to worry about remembering it). Extra sharped pencils, a spare pen and eraser and a sticky pad. He can use the sticky pad to jot a quick note and stick it to the inside of binder with page assignments, due date whatever. On the paper side of the binder he can have his math notebook and extra loose leaf (this to record necessary notes, 'how-to' directions and anything else he might need to know to do the work Ex: the classroom board example the teacher had up on how to work an answer).
The locker organization is important (I'd bet your DW hasn't seen the inside of kid's locker for a while), a self note on back of hand 'take home math book and binder'. A routine at home for his homework (which I think you've already do). A packed and ready to go backpack each evening ready to go for morning.
These are all very small easy starter practices. It's just enough that it helps assure SS is prepared without effort and as he begins to realize the little things which are easy and works (no more math detentions, no more teacher upset he's not prepared for class or homework missing/not complete). He'll slowly see his relationship with teacher improve because he's coming to class ready and teacher won't be upset with him. The more he sees the little things on his part is worth the tiny effort the more he'll build new and better ways himself to make his ADD/ADHD less of a struggle and stop using it as a crutch. The more he believes in his own self ability and learns he can be responsible the less he will want Mommy to 'save/help' him. No teen wants Mommy carried around in their back pocket.
I was an A+ student too and I
I was an A+ student too and I got detention for forgetting my sneakers for gym class. Rules are rules and they are applied equally and fairly to everyone. I don't think SS should be given any kind of special dispensation, just like I never saught any for myself when I was forgetful.
>Why are you getting involved? <
*sigh*
Because I'm a control freak. That's why. Seriously, I'm fed up of having to explain this over and over....
A) Yes, our family will have
A) Yes, our family will have to commit fission if SS has to go to summer school. I still plan on taking the family out to the beach and enjoy ourselves. DW says she won't go because she'll feel too guilty leaving SS behind. I said "Well have fun assuaging your guilt while me and the bios enjoy hitting the waves". No way I am changing our plans because of SS.