UGH! I'm so sorry. I just resolved that I couldn't live with her. I don't care if she's changed even. It just can't happen. If they want to live together, fine. I will get my own place or stay in my own (DH is in the middle of relocating).

I would help seriously. I am already talking to SS15 about college. But she gets such an attitude when you tell her what she doesn't want to hear. I could be as polite as pie and it would not matter. Then DH would get mad at me for making her upset. I just won't do it anymore. I learned I need to stay out of it.

They aren't even looking at college application deadlines, he hasn't even had her apply for financial aid. Its ridiculous. Everything is so last minute and on the fly. When I even suggested that she shadow a hygienist to make sure she knew what she was getting into, he just seemed exasperated. Like it didn't matter, this is what is going to happen. I couldn't believe with the coursework that he really thinks this will work.

Sometimes I can't tell if they really DON'T know, or if they DO know but remain in denial.

LOL.

I found it important to remain emotionally neutral. I tried to be very straightforward and neutral. So it can't be blamed that I'm just being an asshole.

Hello Nice to see you!!
Things have been quiet on the step front and my little guy is keeping me busy. Between work and him, I barely can get on the computer. I'm procrastinating right now at work

Oh my! how do you do it? Seriously? I decided to just own my bitchiness and stand my ground. I felt so run over for years.

If the one can't even finish cosmetology school, what will she do?
The other, I bet she doesn't finish. Has DH set a timeline for when they should be finishing and moving on?

At what point do you stop enabling. I hope hope hope I make good decisions for my little one. I do not want this for him. I want him ready to hit the ground running when he graduates high school. As much as I will miss him, I want him to go off to college and have all those experiences.

See this is what I don't get. Why do they get to do that? What happened to expectations?

Thank you. I felt a lot better after realizing what the requirements are. She'll never do it. She'll never finish if she tries.

I feel bad only in the sense that I know I'd hate that if someone did it to my child. BUT I want to raise my child not to be this way. I want him to go out into the world and be prepared. I just hope I do the job for him that I'm supposed to.

I agree completely. Any parent would be scurrying to keep their child from struggling. Its just unfortunate that she wasn't prepared for this before. Everyone allowed her to piss away her 1st three years of high school with poor grades. SENIOR YEAR she keeps As, Bs, and Cs, suddenly college is important. We'll see what she does. All I know is that she has never demonstrated long term maintenance of responsible behavior.

Enabled. *sigh*
In the back of my mind I'm always trying to keep the term independent in my head for my little one.

No, I am not sure she really truly appreciates what self sufficiency and responsibility means. Its sad because somehow SS15 is all about responsibility for himself. Different expectations for the females by the parents.

I completely agree. I've given this thought as well. She isn't really making any decisions here, she's just being told. Everything she's wanted to do has been wishy washy anyway. She doesn't know what she wants. She's just an adult child who has no idea what to do now. This is why I think she goes along with what dad says, then it fails.

He wasted money once before. $12,000 for 3 months of freshman private high school. Then she comes to him and says I want to move back home with mom and my friends. I suggested that he have her take out loans and then pay on them depending on her grades. We shall see what he does.

I would have loved your scenario, right! I wish I had done this in college. You are right though, that sounds exactly what would work.

"She'll have to get roommates to survive off a entry level job. Not impossible. People do it every day. Actually, many young 20's LOVE this scenario and it works as a great stepping stone to them realizing they want more things.. which means need more money.. which means how do I find a better job.
"

OMG I know who you are!! I've thought about you recently wondering about you. I'm so happy to hear from you.

Oh my. yes you called it. Rock star. I think he picked that and professional skater in 9th grade right? LOL

They should let him go on that singing show and embarrass himself. }:) }:) }:) }:)

Any troubles from Behemoth?? or her mini me?

Thank you. I remember the olden days when I would have sat silently and just stopped eating. It came out robotic like. I'm so glad I was able to say it.

She really does. I don't know that she knows what she wants. To me kids fall into two categories when it comes to college:
1. they know they are going to college and they WILL figure out a major even if they don't know right away
2. they aren't ready and need to work a while first, then go.

There's nothing wrong with either, but when you push a 2 to a 1 its just going to fail.

How are you???

No. It wouldn't.

We'll see if this is actually the last of this. I think its going to come up again.

BTW, how are you???

Yeah... shocking for you I'm sure.

Yep, SO will be purchasing a new car for both skids soon. One for his daughters graduation and one for SS because he really has done as agreed with his schoolwork and being responsible in sports.

SD is driving a junker her mom found (after dad said no car because she lied and got bad grades--BM just did it anyway). Well the junker I'm told is disturbingly scary and SO doesn't want her driving it and begin unsafe.

Could not have said it better myself.

YAY so happy to hear from you!!!

Neither have I! Not one word about when/where, if I'm supposed to go. My guess is I will be told to go at the last minute. *sigh* so excited. I will drive separate. So not interested in hanging out with BM for some stupid lunch or whatever after.

The original "plan" that SD and BM discussed is that SD would go to community college and stay living with BM. According to SO (sometimes he stretches or makes his own ideas other people's ideas), SD just didn't think she could live anywhere else. So he said he offered her to live where he is at some point. He only asked me this past weekend if I would be ok with it. I think BM knows CS will be cut and wants SD to stay. SO said he'd rather give that half directly to SD. We'll see what happens. He never makes any real effort to take care of anything himself. I don't see him getting a lawyer to handle anything.

Oh a sports car, because they are cheap and I'm sure he'll get at least $10,000 for graduation.

SO is in the middle of purchasing two cars right now, one for each SKID. I'm waiting for him to be too broke to do the things he's promised to the house. Which means I won't be able to move with him.

How are you otherwise? My little one is going to be 2 at the end of the summer. I can't believe it. I adore him.