So SS17 asked to move back in.......then we find out he is taking Cocaine.......
Just when I thought it was safe....I thought that OH seemed to finally accept that I cant live with SS17.........
First, on Weds last week, SS17 text OH and said he might have to move out of where he is living....SS17 asked if he could live with either OH or BM....OH text back and said he would talk to him tomorrow (Thursday).....OH didnt. He didnt even talk to me aboit it, because I know that he knows I cant do it, I cant live with SS17.
Then on Friday, SS19 came to visit and asked to stay over, OH said no problem (and I was ok with it, although I wasnt asked, I was next to him at the time)......SS19 comes down, we have SD6 too and SS19 says "Dad, I need to talk to you about SS17, there is something your need to know"...........
Now, I assumed it was going to be that SS17 had been kicked Out and what not.....I was not prepared for what I heard next...SS19 told both myself and OH that SS17 was not only smoking weed (which we knew about a few months ago) but that he is now taking cocaine too.....we were also informed that SS17 was stealing, bikes off the street and such mainly...obviously feeding his habit. SS19 then said "dad, its not SS17 anymore, I dont know who he is but he isnt SS17 no more. He has proper changed now"
OH didnt know what to do. He said he couldnt bring him back cos he wouldnt pit up with the sh*t....but I wont have SS17 back there now.....NO F*CKING WAY!! Weed was bad enough when SS17 shares SD6's bedroom, but Cocaine in my house!? My BD6 is there, no way.
Im scared that OH is gonna ask though......I know he is scared to ask me too.......but he knows the answer.......SS17 will never live under any roof Im under......SS17 that his dad knew, went a long time ago....so I dont know how Im supposed to do this. If OH moves out, he will lose his relationship with me for SS17, who will not change for anyone.........
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I agree.....but OH wants to
I agree.....but OH wants to help him....I just dont see how he can.
A couple of weeks ago, before we knew, he said that SS17 he wanted to help him, and that SS17's GF (who is a right b*tch I have to admit) was the cause to a lot oh SS17's problems, I disagreed and said its his circle of friends that were his main problem and its them he needed to be away from, GF followed closely behind. We dont live that far from his GF and friends.OH thought that even if he moved in with us, he would work him out....I was honest and said it wouldn't work, SS17 needed to be much, much further away than us! He goes to college with all these people, he hangs around with them at college, and after. OH thought a job placement would help, again I pointed out the above......
OH at a loss and he knows it.....I actually feel sorry for him.....but its his kids that have caused there own demise!
You can't "help" him, he has
You can't "help" him, he has to hit his own personal rock bottom. He'll just steal from you and break your hearts if you let him move in. I'm an alcoholic- that's just the way it is with addicts. Luckily for me I didn't lose everything before I wised up and got some help, I knew what I was doing to myself because my family of origin is loaded with drunks, including both my parents. God bless.
Thankyou all......you know
Thankyou all......you know what the worst of it is? OH, in his younger days, did the same. The kids dont know about it though. His parents did, and tried to help him with counselling and all sorts, but OH KNEW that that wouldnt work, and did it himself. Never looked back and that was 18-20 years ago.
SS17 doesnt know that we know....I have been around addicts myself, my cousin paid the price when someone took her life violently away from her......I know how hard addiction is, ive seen it.....and I know that the person addicted MUST see it first....but I think OH wants to "help" him see it, even though he should know better. Yesterday OH said that if SS17 wouldnt listen to SS19, then he wouldnt listen to anyone include OH.
Oh is driven by guilt with his kids, and thats what scares me....his guilt could drive him to any level......OH said that he was getting to the point where he was closing off from both SS's, because he simply couldnt cope with their lives, he told SS19 that he didnt want to know anything anymore, he would rather not know, I told SS19 to keep me informed.....the last thing I want is an SS17 moving in or attempting too on a pretence of normality cos OH thinks things are ok to find drugs or something worse!