No matter what advice we dole out to people, ultimately they're going to do things their own way.

That being said, I would probably tell my skid, nephews and nieces......

"Don't get so lost in your relationships that you lose yourself."

My advice would be don't even LOOK at anyone with a child from a previous relationship.

I would tell my bio and my ss to never settle. I read on here a lot of SM that argue with thier DH and allow them to treat them like nothing. No one should stay in a relationship like this. This means a person will have to "get to know" thier partner before committing for the long haul.

For my bio, the first thing I would say is to always remember she doesn't have to put up with nonsense simply because someone else thinks she should.

For the skids, I don't care enough about them to give advice on anything. I actually hope SD gets a skid just like her.

1. Really get to know the person you're with before you get in bed with them.
2. For those sharing kids with exes-find a way to move past the bitterness. Get counseling. See your gal pals more. Exercise. Go to meetup.com to find events in your area that may interest you. He cheated and is married to the other woman? Take comfort in knowing your ex is now her problem and find a way to accept that she will be helping to provide care for them. If she's nice to them, try to take some peace from that. Focus solely on the kids. Keep all communications about the kids and be glad you don't have to worry about him cheating on you anymore.
3. Keep kids out of adult issues. Don't withhold visitation because you didn't get your cs on time. Address it via email with your ex. Rip him a new one, for all I care. But it's not an excuse to keep the kids away from him. He cheated on you? I'm so sorry. I hope you find counseling and will take you out for drinks to let it all out. But it's not an excuse to keep the kids from their dad. Cheaters are bad role models but worse are those who use kids as weapons. If they ask about why you divorced say, "ask your dad" or I'll tell you when you're older.
4. For stepkids...you don't have to love or like your sp but you must be polite. If you ever need support in navigating a tough situation or someone to vent to, come to me, absolutely. But you will have hell to pay if you act rudely towards your SPs. Don't make the sp the target for issues that really have nothing to do with them. You should absolutely talk with those responsible, daddy and mommy.

I give my kids/skids advice about relationships all of the time. For the most part it usually goes something like...

You can't expect to be with someone excellent if you aren't excellent yourself. In life, get your shit together and make sure you're with someone who has their shit together too. Then, find a way to combine all of your shit and keep it together.

To the girls: Learn how to be happy on your own so when someone special enters your life you can share your happiness rather than depend on them for it. You won't be treated like a lady unless you are one, be the girl that the guy talks to his mom about, not the girl he talks to his buddies about. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you like the queen of the castle, but make sure you are doing your part to deserve that. Don't ever stay with someone who makes you feel like you should compromise your integrity and core values.

To the boys: Learn how to be happy on your own too. Find the kind of girl that you can't wait to bring home to meet me because you know I will think she's great. Sports and video games are conquests, not people. Treat the women in your life the way you expect your sisters, mother, female cousins and female friends to be treated. Don't stay with a girl who depends on you for her happiness, find a girl who is happy and who wants to share that happiness with you. There is no such thing as consent when a chick is drunk.

Another piece of advice...

Moving in with someone or marrying them will NOT improve the relationship. If you are already having doubts of feel the relationship is in trouble, the best thing to do is to remain in separate residences until issues are resolved one way or another.

And on that same note.....having a baby will NOT fix a relationship either.

Pregnancy is no reason to marry.

I would tell any female friend or relative: RUN from any man with kids/BM! There are plenty of men out there without the baggage. Also, you can't "catch" a man by getting preggo. Never turns out well. You are responsible for protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancy/disease, so make sure you are using BC & condoms. If you do get preggo, do NOT force a relationship that was never meant to be. If he wants to be involved, fine, but if not, take your kid & consider yourself lucky that you don't have to go through the whole co-parenting thing. Personally, I'd rather be a single mom who does it ALL on her own (even without CS) than one who is engaged in a constant, lifelong battle with someone who doesn't want to be involved anyway.

For the men in my life: Do not trust that a woman is using BC just b/c she says so. Wrap it up - everytime. If you aren't willing to marry her before she gets pregnant, do not marry her just b/c it's the "right thing to do". Beware of crazy b$tches - there seems to be a lot of them out there! Sex almost always has consequences - a lot of the time it's better to take things "into your own hands" so to speak.

For SD or BM: Yes, please marry that guy with the kids & the psycho ex. Just so they can see what I deal with }:)

Oh, I would also tell SD: No, it is not normal for a thirty-something adult to live with their parents. BM & SD live with BM's father & SD is always telling me that when she grows up she is going to live with her daddy. Um, sorry, but as long as I am living with your father, that is one big H*LL TO THE F*CK NO!!!

wrap it.

dont stick it in Stupid.

life's too short to be miserable.

treat others with respect- you dont have to feel it, but at least act it.

nobody owes you anything. and you shouldnt need anyone to validate you. work your ass off and be proud of yourSELF.

learn how to cultivate inner peace- that will come in handy for the rest of your life.

learn loyalty and generosity. bend over backwards for those you love, not for what you'll get in return, but simply because you love them.

every generation gives humans a chance to improve on the mistakes made by the previous generation. take your parents and grandparents examples- take the positive, and improve on the negatives. you are not doomed to repeat the mistakes of your family - nobody's perfect, but learn by example instead of the hard way.

Make sure that the attraction below the waist is matched by attraction above the waist.

Know your strengths and weaknesses. Take the time to learn your love's character. Trust that your future happiness depends on a choice that's good for you, rather than a choice that (only) feels good now.

Make sure you know how to prevent STDs and babies. Know that you are precious. Expect no less of yourself or others.