a few more details on the hairbrush story
Okay, so SD15 was caught having naughty pictures of herself (and my hairbrush) in her phone. That was bad.
She was caught sending these pictures to about 8 different strangers over an app called KIK. That was worse.
She also sent (fully clothed) pictures of her 12 year old sister, and 2 year old cousin. This just keeps getting better!
At the point that I found pics of SD12 and Nephew2, I got pretty disgusted and put the phone down. Later, it started to bug me WHY she would of sent those pictures, so I went back and read some more of the conversations.
Random Guy asked SD15 if she had ever seen another girl naked. SD15 said yes, sent a picture of SD12 and told Random Guy that it was her girlfriend. SD15 also told Random Guy that she wanted to have a threesome.
At that point, Hubby told me to delete the program from SD15's phone, and I did. No more going back to find out more dirt. I don't need more dirt. What I read/saw was sick enough.
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Disproportionate? The only
Disproportionate? The only thing disproportionate was the Ops husband's reaction. He should have called the cops, showed them the pictures and conversation and had them files charges against the man she was talking to.
Ditto, my bad.
Ditto, my bad.
Just Wow, it's very very
Just Wow, it's very very scary, isn't it??
Aswang, I always worry about
Aswang, I always worry about that kind of stuff. I check in daily at the sight "Dreamcatchersforabusedchildren". I kind of drive myself a little bit crazy.
In all of the lecturing (and sometimes yelling), I made sure to explain to Sd that she was in possession of child pornography, and transporting it over the internet.
I also explained to her that older men get on the internet pretending to be younger boys, get the pictures and post them on illegal web sights, full of young girls. Then other men get on and look at the pictures and touch themselves, until that doesn't satisfy them anymore. Then someone gets kidnapped. I explained to SD that she could very well, now be a part of that vicious circle.
I know that sounds far fetched, but is it really? Maybe we got lucky and her picture won't be one that ends up on a web sight, but maybe we didn't. All for that little girls fifteen minutes of pleasure?
I'm so mad at her, I could spit bullets!
Mama Fox, there were several
Mama Fox, there were several guys. Their profiles said that they were 15 and 16, and none of them were local. We could of called the cops, and told SD that we would next time.
If charges were filed, they would of most likely, been against SD. SD was in possession of child pornography. She had transmitted it over the internet. She had pictures of both herself and young guys (15 &16). She could of gone to jail, and next time we will take that chance.
Please don't think that Hubby had me delete the app as her punishment, or to hide something. He had me delete the app, because I kept going back and finding more, and getting more and more upset. Truthfully, we already had enough dirt on her, and it wasn't going to help if I got dramatic.
Just Wow, I don't think that
Just Wow, I don't think that is extreme at all!
She told the "boys" what
She told the "boys" what state we live in. They may have her first name, (and it's a common one, like Nicole). That's it s far as I know
wtff, I'll be talking to her
wtff, I'll be talking to her therapist about it in about 12 hours. I hope she has good advice for me!
Just Wow, she said she did it
Just Wow, she said she did it because she'd never done it before and wanted to try it. I told her that she could touch herself without an audience (gross, I know, but true), and that that excuse might work for the FIRST TIME, but not the eighth.
Echo, she no longer has
Echo, she no longer has access to electronics, at all. She's on some serious lock down, now.
She isn't allowed time alone in her room, for the present. She isn't allowed to be home alone, or to leave without Hubby or myself with her. No going to a friend's house or even other family members. (She has three more days of school, of course we are going to let her do her finals.)
No Tv, or radio. She is allowed to watch what I have on the Tv, she is allowed to do puzzles or read, and she is allowed to do her chores. That's it for now.
Eventually, she will earn back some privileges. I don't know when - she's usually an obedient kid, but this is a pretty big deal, so saying she can earn them back with good behavior isn't going to work in her case. If she ever earns back the privilege of a cell phone, it won't be an android (so that she can't download those kinds of apps again).
I am thinking her next cell phone will be a flip phone. I am researching, trying to find one without a camera, but I can't seem to find that. So, if she ever gets a cell phone again, it will be the one with the crappiest camera I can find, and one where she has to hit the 2 key twice to get to the B, if she texts, I am going to check with my carrier to see if I can get her one without texts.
Hallowpoints, thank you! I
Hallowpoints, thank you!
I would never of thought of that!
I checked out the samsung
I checked out the samsung entro! I think it's a good choice. I can get her the phone, and the first month's worth of minutes for less then $40. I'll be talking it over with Hubby when he wakes up!
If he likes it, I think she will go a few weeks/moths with NO PHONE, then start earning our trust back with this one.
We have a family reunion in July, and I would really like SD to have a phone before we go away for the weekend. There will be more then 20 of us travelling to another state for the reunion. I can make sure that SD is always with an adult, but I'd still like her to have a phone in case there are any problems at all.
Hey read this thread, I was
Hey read this thread, I was looking for no frills cell phones for my skids, and there were a lot of helpful applications talked about that you can basically lock the phone down and have it send reports to you about the usage.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/185309
Thank you, Mama Fox! I got
Thank you, Mama Fox! I got some really good information
Yeah, she's in some trouble.
Yeah, she's in some trouble. Later on today, she gets to rake the dog crap out of the yard.. and that will be the fun part of her day (besides puzzles and books). She already went out to the shed to dig out books. She knows that it's going to be while until she gets to do something as fun as flipping channels on the TV.
However, I'm open to more suggestions, if you have any!
Just Wow, I think I left out
Just Wow, I think I left out an important part of the story! These boys weren't asking her to sext with them.. SHE WAS ASKING THEM TO SEXT WITH HER! She was the instigator!!!
She needs a good old fashioned ass whipping. Too bad that's basically illegal, these days, because I'd sure like to provide her with it!
Has it? I remember being
Has it? I remember being curious about my sexuality at that age. Admittedly she has made some very bad choices about how to explore it, but it doesn't automatically mean she has been abused or that she is some sex crazed maniac. I agree therapy would be a great idea, but suppressing her sexual identity could backfire.
BethAnne, I think it's
BethAnne, I think it's perfectly normal and fine to explore herself, at 15. However, I don't think she needs to do it over the internet or through a phone app!
wtff, she IS in therapy, and
wtff, she IS in therapy, and has been since January. (We got custody in December.)
I know that she was physically abused at 4/5. She says that she was never sexually abused (we've talked about it a few times since last August). She definitely has issues, but I don't know if that is one of them.
I think I will call the local
I think I will call the local PD while she is at school on Tuesday.. and see if there is any volunteering she can do with a rape crisis line, or something nearby! those were really good suggestions, by the way!
You are nasty, nasty, nasty!
You are nasty, nasty, nasty!
I think I'd throw out
I think I'd throw out anything that is, um, insertable.
LOL! You guys are having too
LOL! You guys are having too much fun with this.. and my stomach is turning a little!
My house is incredibly small,
My house is incredibly small, so both SDs share the master bedroom. Taking it off for SD15 would mean taking it off for SD12, to. Instead, she just isn't allowed in her bedroom, except for at bedtime, unless the door is open.
Hollow Points, most of the
Hollow Points, most of the blogs that I've written were about SD12. SD15 isn't usually a problem, at all. She's acting out sexually now, and has been a little too creepy with the butt slapping and stuff. She's also threatened suicide, until I felt like she was using it as a weapon against me.
There's been a lot of teenage drama and angst.
Yep! I inherited some
Yep!
I inherited some really messed up kids.
BM thinks that she is MOTY and that the only reason that she doesn't have full custody of her kids is because of a bunch of mistakes and bad decisions made by other people. She can't seem to wrap her mind around the fact that neglect and abuse can get your kids taken from you.
I truly hate the bitch, and can't wait for her to die. I blame her for about 70% of these girls' problems.
Poor kiddos. They act up, and act out. They make really bad choices. I wonder what their life had been like if they had been raised with love and understanding.
She doesn't sound that messed
She doesn't sound that messed up to me. I know I haven't read all the background, but it sounds to me like she is starting to get sexual urges and is acting on them, she made some bad choices with the app and sending pictures of herself and the others and that ought to be addressed so that she understands why that is a big deal. But exploring her sexuality is normal and part of growing up. As for the hair brush, it is unfortunate she chose yours to "explore" with but I remember using all sorts at the age when I couldn't go to a sex shop and get a vibrator of my own. Have you had proper discussions with her about sex and feeling sexual and what that means and how she can pleasure herself in private but that it doesn't necessarily mean she should hop into bed with the easiest available man or make herself available online. Perhaps you could buy her a small vibrator and some "sexy" literature to amuse herself with? And on top of that make sure that she can feel valued and loved for things other than her sexuality by those around her and help show her with non-sexual physical contact ie hugs from parents etc. She craves attention and to be desired, make sure that it is for things that will not put her in dangerous situations and that will build her confidence up so that she can assert her wishes with men in the future.
SD is messed up in other
SD is messed up in other ways. She's oversexed, in my opinion (has mentioned how attractive the neighbor girl is, has asked me to buy her a vibrator, wants to have a "fivesome", etc.) but that's not the biggest of her issues, by far.
Yes, I've actually thought about buying her a vibrator. She's asked me to, I've looked them up online, ect. I just think that there is a fine line between being a concerned, modern step mom, and a weird, creepy, over-involved one!
You're totally right about her craving attention and wanting to be desired. I honestly do my best! There are hugs and prayers before bed every night, I request her company a lot, etc.
Thanks, HadAboutEnough. We
Thanks, HadAboutEnough. We deleted the app, for now. When she gets her phone priveleges back, she will have a Samsung T139, with the camera blacked out. I am going to try to get texting taken off her account..
She has lost ALL privileges for now. She is allowed to use the bathroom with the door closed. That's it
Thanks, HadAboutEnough. We
Thanks, HadAboutEnough. We deleted the app, for now. When she gets her phone priveleges back, she will have a Samsung T139, with the camera blacked out. I am going to try to get texting taken off her account..
She has lost ALL privileges for now. She is allowed to use the bathroom with the door closed. That's it
I think that KIK chat site
I think that KIK chat site should be shut down and investigated. MY SD15 posted naked pictures of herself on it as well. DH and BM just want to brush it under the rug. Too embarrassed to really deal with it. I left her multiple articles about internet pedophiles on her bed. Sweet dreams.
KIK, Snapchar, meetup, there
KIK, Snapchar, meetup, there are so many of them, these days! They're all banned in my house, but does Sd care? NO!
As soon as they take down one, though, there will be a dozen others that pop up in it's place!
How is your SD doing now? Is she behaving better?