Al three of my skids (9,10,11) have cell phones from their BM. In the past the skids have texted BM when they got in trouble at our house and asked her to come get them, or told them my DH wasn't feeding them etc... So we have cell phone rules. The cells phones aren't allowed in their rooms overnight and they aren't allowed to use them during mealtimes. The two oldest really could care less about them and generally ignore them. The youngest just got hers and BM and Her husband send an average of 25 texts each a day to her. Turns out the youngest has been texting them both that she doesn't want to stay the summer at our house and wants to come "home". Their BM was more than happy to report that to us. DH asked all of the skids about it and they all reported that they love it at our new house and just miss their mom. Which is perfectly fine, they are going to miss their mom, she is their mom. He also spoke to the youngest alone and offered that she could go with BM and stay there is that is what she wanted. She said she meant to say that she just missed her mom, not that she didn't like it at our house. DH was suspicious of this, so he checked her phone and the other two's phones because BM and the husband text the kids so much. He was so upset with what he found. Both the BM and the new husband constantly ask the kids what they are doing, if they are having fun, and if they are ready to come home yet. They also tell them they have bought something new or are going to do something fun, but they cant tell them because they are at their dads. They are only allowed to know if they were to come home.
My DH was so upset by this and last night after the kids went to bed, he grabbed the phones to show me all of the texts and all the messages on the youngest's phone from BM about hating our place were GONE. The oldest hadnt deleted his message that asked if he was ready to come home. He didn't even answer it. My middle Skid didn't even turn hers on since they came back from their BM's weekend. So BM and the husband concentrate their efforts on the youngest and we think she got scared about the texts and deleted them all.
I told DH I am done with the phones. two weeks ago we picked them up and none of the kids had their phones and that whole week was so wonderful.... no constant texts, no cranky kids, nothing. They are always able to use DH's phone or my phone to call, but isn't it amazing that their BM and husband didn't have anything for them the entire week? They got their phones back after this past weekend with their BM. and it has been nonstop for the little one. My DH is at the point where he wants to tell BM to keep the phones at her house, since nothing else from her house is allowed to come to ours. The manipulation lengths they are willing to go to...
I guess maybe DH and I are just different because we only occasionally text or call the kids when they aren't with us. We don't want to intrude on their time with BM and we know that the kids love us and miss us...
with that being said, I had to resist the urge to knock the phones phones into the dog's water dish this morning... I freaking hate those things!!!!