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But wait, I'm not allowed to get upset

coping's picture

Submitted by coping on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 4:08pm

Skids have no chores except to keep room clean. Cannot manage to do that. If I mention it to DH, I've got the problem. Bought new school clothes/shoes/backpacks. I ask to wait to use them until school starts. Cannot manage to do that either and now we've ruined one of the items. I mention it, I'm some how wrong. I don't understand why I ask kids to clean their room and when I mention it I am a bitch. Why am I the bad guy when I ask skids tow wait and use new school stuff for school? I don't get it. I'm pissed, but not supposed to be pissed according to my husband. I apparently bitch too much.

Comments

coping's picture

Submitted by coping on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 4:23pm

Funny, I actually said I didn't mind spending more of his money on the repeat items. But it's just the point of having not enough respect to LISTEN to me.

givemefreedom's picture

Submitted by givemefreedom on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 5:24pm

I feel your pain, truly I do. I am not allowed to say anything about skids to DH. It's been this way for years. I agree that new school items should be saved until school starts, along with many other rules that are common sense and DH could care less. I don't talk to SS16. I ignore him, I'm done.

queenofthedamned's picture

Submitted by queenofthedamned on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 7:24pm

yep.

Wah-wah-11's picture

Submitted by Wah-wah-11 on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 5:43pm

It's usually the same way in our house ...until recently when I pointed out that he has no problem with me calling ours down.. Butbwhennit comes to skids I'm just being mean to them. And I pointed out how he doesn't mind if I spend my last cent on them but if I had no right to call them down I didn't need to spend my money on them. I told him I could disengage from them and do nothing for them or with them .. Sit changed real fast .. So far it's been about a month. We will see how long it will last

queenofthedamned's picture

Submitted by queenofthedamned on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 7:23pm

Not your kid, not your problem. Frustrating for sure, but let it go. Their filthy rooms mean they live in filth. Their torn items? they deal with it, or dad replaces them on his time and his dime.
I sympathize, but really not your problem. put it in your husband's lap, where it belongs.

HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 7:34pm

What you're experiencing is exactly why I disengaged. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't.

So I don't Smile

hbomb's picture

Submitted by hbomb on Sat, 08/09/2014 - 10:15pm

^^^ This^^^

Been there, done that, got the T shirt. I know its frustrating, but I read the article that Orange County shared about disengaging, and it has made things a lot better. I do not do anything for SS anymore. Everything is delegated out, that way, if he doesn't do A or listen to B, it is NOT MY PROBLEM.

coping's picture

Submitted by coping on Tue, 08/12/2014 - 11:28pm

I'm working on 'not bitching'. I haven't said one thing about their room. Their bathroom has clothes all over the floor. Not my problem and it honestly feels really good. Not sure how that works out marriage/parent wise, but it feels good.