I did back when she had custody and it killed me because all she did was buy new cars and move into a house and my SD would tell me she didn't have her own toothbrush and had to share with her two siblings. BM would of course, every other year, take my husband back to court for an increase while remaining unemployed, on welfare and popping out kids. She is currently on kid #4 with 3 different guys (I know such a winner).

It was the greatest moment when a judge finally took custody away from her and my SD now lives with my husband and I full time. The BM pays $17 a month in CS and even at that misses most of the months. Honestly, doesn't matter - we wanted custody with no interested in receiving CS from her because unlike her we can raise a child on our own. Since the custody change she lost her car and house and now lives in a low-income apartment (THAT is how much we were paying for CS) and of course got pregnant 3 months after losing custody.

Ours was over 120,000.00 with zero help from her with her own child financially.

Last payment made this month! DONE!!!!! About time!!!

Twuntzilla will get a whopping $0. DH pays for everything anyway, and always has, so fuck her. DH has legal custody of both, although skid1 lives with her during the school year for now. Skid2 is with us.

BM2 gets more in CS in one year than most people make from a job! More than people with degrees get too I would guess. And she blows it all on God knows what and fast food and cupcake making! She also works and does pay rent in a cheap gross side of town and supports her useless out of work husband! It drives me crazy! My DH looks at it as what he paid to end the relationship, get out of the marriage and get her out of his home. We know she does not spend it all on the kids! Come one! SD wears SS's old clothes, including shoes, wtf?? Who does that? Picking her up from school in boys shorts, shirt and crocs. Crazy to me! No wonder when she comes over she heads straight to my DD's room to hang out! She wants to be a girl but her mama is too damn cheap for that! She never has money in the bank either. These women are all nuts!

Don't even let your mind wander down that road...it's a trap!

Personally, I don't recommending doing the math on this, if you feel ripped off in any way due to CS. Parents are financially responsible for their children. It doesn't matter what the BM does or does not do. What does matter is that your H's are stand up guys that at the very least pay their CS without complaint.

In H's case, he'll end up paying about $150K, through her 21st birthday should she stay in school until that time. This doesn't include all of the money he's put out for clothes, trips, "pocket" money, etc.

I look at it this way, if he and Uberskank stayed married or had skid been our child, this money would have gone to her anyway. It's not like skid, H or Uberskank are stealing anything away from me. Our struggles would have been the same either way. Why nitpick about it at this point.

Focusing on CS is a good way to stay embittered and overly focused on something we can't change in our situations. Better to put energy into something you can affect, than into something you will never be able to change.

dh paid 8k a year c/s, plus all the sports fees and equipment, transportation to and from games and practices, food after games/practices. plus vacations, cell phones, game systems/games, school trips, school clothes, birthdays and christmas (she spent almost nothing on these, left their gifts pretty much up to the rest of the family).

dumbass didnt pay rent OR utilities - their elect got shut off countless times and she'd been evicted from every place she rented for failure to pay. the only time it was consistantly paid for was when she was living with her parents, other ex husb, or ex b-frnd. she didnt pay her cell, one of her sugar daddies did. she didnt pay for her vehicle, her parents did until dumbass let it get repo'd (then she did a buy-here,pay-here afterwards, which surprise surprise got repo'd too). she got state healtcare for the kids for a while, but let it lapse (shocker, i know) AND food stamps.

this was all while WE had kids 3-4 days a week, so our weekly/monthly budget went up to provide for them too.

i figured it once, and the amount of cash in-pocket she was "paid" (since she doesnt even work), taking into consideration her freebies and lack of bills, she had like 35k a year in spending money for hair, nails, clothes, gas, restaurants. dh and i, both gainfully employed full time, had only a few grand.

i cant figure out a grand total due to custody change, but thirty five grand a year for her to blow free and clear while not working a single day - daaayuumm.....

ETA - they split when youngest was a year old, so 35k times 17 years would be almost 600,000.00. ugh.

$225,000.00 by the time SD is 21.

However, it will be worth it for EOW and not having SD live with us full time. Not my kid, not my problem. We don't miss the money nor do we care anymore.

I've done the math and it made me sick.By the time my exSD is 18 her mom will have received somewhere around 400K in child support since the divorce.That doesn't include alimony.

I did the math before he and I even got married. I have always known what he was in for. It is an insane amount of money, both for the area we live in and for the amount of money he earns. This is why I had no problem making him promise that he never contribute financially to any of their wants as they get older (cars, college, weddings). He didn't want to hear the grand total but I told him anyway. I can't believe he wanted to remain ignorant of that fact.