Is it normal...?
My husband communicates with SD's grandmother and has for the last four years. He literally has not spoken to the mother of the child in two years except for mediation. The mother has visitation, and at one point, had 50% custody, yet, even in this time, the grandmother is the care provider for SD and the sole person that my husband has talked to about anything SD related. The mother lives with the grandmother. The mother has been in and out of jail over the last four years.
Shouldn't my husband be telling this grandmother to fuck off and if the parent of the child would like to enact her visitation and discuss x y and z with him, she knows his number? Why has he allowed this to continue for years?? I seriously feel that if the grandmother was not involved, and BOTH PARENTS have LET her be involved, that my husband would have always had, and continue to have full custody of his child because BM wouldn't do anything and never has.
There will be a time, soon, when we will move and there will be a custody battle. Shouldn't my husband tell the grandmother that he will only be communicating with the mother from this point forward?
This is an endless annoyance and I need some advice.
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They live together.
They live together.
Basically we will be moving
Basically we will be moving and my husband has physical custody of the kid. Because we will be moving, BM will take him for custody due to change of circumstance, and will probably win. Is the fact that BM is not actually doing any of the coordinating or 'parent work' a help or a harm in his chances to keep custody if we move.
And also, shouldn't he want to talk to the BM?
Like, if it were me and I was split up from DH and our kids were going between us, would I be taling to someone other than their father?? Even if it was his mother, HELL NO. I would insist that I speak with the parent of MY child and further, I would not let my children even go over there unless the actual parent were clearly in control and setting up the visitation.
It's like..grandma is using BM as a puppet for legal reasons, and is the actual parent of SD...and both real parents let this happen.
Sorry..I am really tired, I hope this makes sense.
Imagine anything a BM would
Imagine anything a BM would have to text dad about. That person is grandma and not BM.
I do know that BM is there during visitation, she just refuses to speak to my husband. Also, even though she is there, its the grandmother who does the parent work for SD.
For the sake of keeping custody, should he tell grandma to back off and let the mother do the talking?
Because to the courts, it is
Because to the courts, it is BM who does all of this stuff. If he actually insnsts BM do these things, maybe she wont do them? Or should he print texts for the court to prove that BM has literally never been involved????? Im sorry, I just mean to ask what will help and what will hurt. As we all know, family court is a cluster f.
Thank you for your comments,
Thank you for your comments, they were both very insightful to me. I think you are right. It will go a long way to have physical records of someone who is NOT BM doing all the work. BM is sure to act like mother of the year in court, but what will she say when the Judge see's any physical proof shows that she hasn't been involved with the parenting for years. Thanks!