Boys found Grandpa's Playboy magazines.....To tell BM or not to tell BM
My FIL passed away last summer. When cleaning out his garage, we found some old Playboy magazines. Amused, my DH shoved them in a "keep" box along with other items. DH had a hard time letting go and wound up with many "keep" boxes which were put into our garage cabinets to be gone through again later. DH hasn't gotten around to going through them, I think it's still too painful for him.
Anyway, I found one of the Playboys under the sink in the boys' bathrooms. Upon investigation, it seems SS11 put it there. However, all 3 boys, SS11, BS14 and nephew 15, admit to having gone into the garage cabinets without permission, found the Playboys and they each took one.
I confiscated them all, everyone is grounded for stealing and I had a sex talk with my two about appropriate sexual behavior, including masturbation. I didn't feel comfortable including SS11 in that talk, but I encouraged DH to talk to him.
DH feels he's too young and I should just let it go. He doesn't think it necessary to tell BM about this.
However, I think someone needs to talk to the kid and I know eventually BM will find out, which will be a dramafest.
I will obviously not tell BM myself, but I thought I might show this post and responses to DH.
So, ST, should DH talk to SS11 and tell BM about the Playboy incident? Or is Yosemite overreacting, this really is just boys being boys and it should just be let go?
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Comments
It's true it will be a
It's true it will be a dramafest either way, but at least she won't be able to whine about communication in co-parenting.
I did cover that with my two
I did cover that with my two but thanks for pointing it out.
You forgot about the dog or
You forgot about the dog or donkey depending living in the city vs the farm.
I think it's normal but needs
I think it's normal but needs to be discussed. DH thinks it should be let go with nothing further said about it.
Thank you!
Thank you!
I talk to my kids about sex
I talk to my kids about sex whenever it comes up. In this case, I think it was inappropriate to take someone else's belongings, especially for their own sexual gratification. And while the bathroom is a private venue, if someone is going to masturbate in there then that someone has the responsibility to clean up after themselves and not leave things laying around to make others uncomfortable.
Also, I discussed porn and sexuality, basically the reality vs. the fantasy. I answered their questions, pretty straightforward stuff.
I read this as she was saying
I read this as she was saying there was no need for a talk as nothing was inappropriate.
But I think we all know pretty much everyone masturbates. There is etiquette and things you just don't do. You don't take some one else's stuff and use it for your own pleasure.
You do clean up after yourself since no really wants to see that or to think about anyone else masturbating. I know everyone else uses the toilet, I don't want to see evidence of it!
Thank you....I guess I would
Thank you....I guess I would want to know if it was my kid. But he's not so that's that.
They're grounded for
They're grounded for stealing, not masturbating. I'm seeing that most people think I should let DH decide for himself.
So I will let it go. Thanks ST!
"Grandpa reads them for the
"Grandpa reads them for the articles"
At least, that is how it was explained to me when my brother and I stumbled upon Grandpa's stash. It made sense to us. Grandpa was a voracious reader and certainly wasn't into sexy ladies...*ahem*...No way....
I had no idea there was a
I had no idea there was a standard response for this situation, lol.
There are. Playboy wrote an
There are.
Playboy wrote an article on them - uh, I mean - I *think* Playboy wrote an article on them....
I found it on my son's
I found it on my son's ipod...he was grounded for having porn on his ipod because you have to be over 18 to buy porn, go to a strip club and I know a lot of porn websites require you to be 18 or older (some don't care) I know its out there but I wanted to drive home the point that its illegal (at least in my state) to engage sexual activities, with a partner, prior to 18.
He got in trouble for partaking in an 18+ activity at only 13, would have been the same if I found beer in his room and he wasn't 21 yet.
And I did tell my Ex...but if it were my ss, I would NEVER tell BM, not my issue, let DH do it
I'm definitely not going to
I'm definitely not going to tell her myself. I just thought DH should, but it seems I am in the minority on that.
If your SS is 11 & nobody has
If your SS is 11 & nobody has had any sex talks with him, finding the magazines is the least of your worries.
an 11 beating it is normal.
an 11 beating it is normal. your dh really needs to talk to him about it. i feel that anything related to that subject is much better man to man. him needing to tell bm? nah... if she hasnt already assumed he does that, then maybe *SHE* needs the 5th grade sex ed class....
I don't think he needs to
I don't think he needs to talk to BM but he DOES need to talk to his son.
It's never too early to start with an age appropriate version of "the talk"
I asked SO if he was going to
I asked SO if he was going to have a birds and bees talk with SD11.
He said, "They'll cover that in health class in school."
:jawdrop: