SD 12 makes my H eat off her dirty plate
So we went out for pizza, me, H, SD 12, our son 2. The plates are set out. Then while H is in bathroom pizza comes, we start eating, H comes back. SD says to him dad do you want my crust? H says no. SD says here Dad take it. H says I don't want it leave it there. SD takes his clean unused plate for herself, and puts her dirty used plate with a half eaten crust in front of him. H says nothing and eats dinner off a dirty plate. Good, just what he deserves.
While he's in bathroom she grabs herself a piece with no problem. After he comes out, it's a big production and he as to hand her every piece cause she can't tell which is sausage and which is just cheese. Good, wait on your 12 year old forever and ever and ever. Serves you right. Work yourself serving her.
Then during dinner, we eat in complete silence. Why? Because if anyone talks. SD will talk over them. And why bother. Good, I have nothing to say to either of them anyways,
Then to top it off she wants to play school at the very very end of the meal when we're about to leave. She says to H I'll be the teacher and you be the student. At 12 years old in public to her dad. Oh, he said nothing. But I could tell he was embarrassed. Yeah you should be. Your 12 year old wants to play school.
And she's so fat. Fattest girl everywhere she goes just about. She ate so much pizza. And kept calling the waitress for refills on her pop. It wasn't even diet pop. He once quietly told her to "slow down" . Like in a quiet pathetic I have no authority voice. She ate easily 3 times as much as me. 3 times as much as H.
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He's a grown man, if he's
He's a grown man, if he's stupid enough to eat off a used dirty plate...........Go for it!
I understand the built up
I understand the built up anger.....really I do I have a 12 year old step daughter who tries to climb up her dad like he is a jungle gym and she is four in restaurants, it's humiliating for everyone, except her. But if you guys don't have her full time why don't you just not go out with them? 12 is a hard age, friends are starting their periods she knows her number is coming up and if she already stands out in a negative way (overweight) she may cling to being younger she may want to stay her daddy's little girl and cling to that in immature ways. I really hope you guys only have her part time and that her bio mom is still involved. But detesting his kid isn't going to help your marriage and you may find your son becoming that step kid to someone else. Believe me I can feel your pain and some days match your anger (in this post you wrote) and even match/top your story. I get it and I know your venting and your a good mom to your son. Just don't let your feelings towards her make a toxic situation for your family. But yeah he definitely needs to put down his foot....it is his daughter. Maybe just remind him that his failing to guide her to appropriate behavior will cost her in self esteem and self respect and you won't be raising grand kids for him.
It's all his issue. I would
It's all his issue. I would not presume to tell another adult how to parent. He can parent or non parent her any way he wants. ......he can go all the way with his non parenting. Non parenting leads to its logical conclusion. Working real hard to cater to a child in the level he has gotten her accustomed to. And catering to her ever greater and greater demands.
Oh and I love the "little
Oh and I love the "little girl" comment. As in you seem angry at this "little girl". Not about step talk, but I called the police about a boy in my sons school. He was attempting to steal but was stopped by an adult, unrelated to myself and both boys. This adult was actually a librarian, who has no reason to lie. It was also caught on camera. Of course, the police did nothing and it was just too hard to retireve the footage. The police said what did I have against this " little boy " this boy is 12, my son 11. These things happened to other kids not my son,and this is just the worst, this boy acts out physically weekly or more. A boy had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks, 5 days in the ICUS. After a beating received . Another boy was choked to the point of coughing. Another boy he threatened daily for weeks to decapitate him and use his head as soccer ball. He cornered a girl and pretended to have sex with her. No physical contact. Of course, the librarian knew all about this boys history as our school and library sit on the same property and believe me everyone "knows" . The librarian was also trying to tell the police that "something" had to be done. So yeah , I recognize bullshit when I hear it "little girl" .
It's a pattern, everything
It's a pattern, everything gets swept under the rug. In both scenarios. They are just children. A "little girl" . A "little boy" . Meanwhile, while I'm presumed to be the angry bitch that has it in for a child, by many many people, not just these little comments on ST. The "Little boy" and "little girl" escalate their behavior. And their chances for a good future get slimmer and slimmer. Because everyone but everyone wants to sweep it under the rug and blame the adult. Well it's hard, but I did the right thing. No more visitation in the home. And regarding the " little boy" a group of about ten parents whose children had been hurt by " little boy" had a meeting with the principal. He is only allowed out of his special classroom for lunch and recess and gym and then accompanied by a security guard.
Can you still be married to
Can you still be married to this man, when you don't hold any respect for him?
Your skid aside, which as you pointed out is not your problem, it sounds like you've reached the end of your relationship with your H.
This situation is not going to improve. Do you want to spend the rest of your married life watching this scenario and getting more and more disgusted with both of them?
Plus, there is your bio to think about. Though you are raising him differently, he's watching what is happening around him.
I'm taking it one day at a
I'm taking it one day at a time. I enjoy each day as it comes. I have good friends. I have my kids. I am naturally busy due to the kids and I stay busy, I have a routine I stick to mostly and it helps. My son is 2 and I do not want to send him on visitation. My husband is older, he'll be 53! And he has health problems, blood clots. He's on medication for it. He has bleeding which he disregards. Like not to be gross, but in his urine and bruising for no reason in places you wouldnt normally get a bruise, like upper abdomen. He smokes a pack and a half a day! He eats take out and fast food once to twice a day! He never exercises! So he may not be around much longer. Please don't misunderstand, he is an adult choosing to take poor care of his health. So I enjoy every day, and who knows, any day could be my last day married.
You're waiting around for
You're waiting around for your husband to die? That is probably the saddest thing I've heard in a very long time.
Just laughing ... old at 53
Just laughing ... old at 53 ... If we had a time capsule to cut/paste your last comments and have you revisit them when YOU are 53. Laughing over my shoulder.
You seem like a caring
You seem like a caring person. This is why I mention it, I'm actually not. Sure I have little down moments, and blogging here is helpful. I'm actually happy. Today, is a gorgeous perfect fall day, I had a great day so far. Took my son to a mommy and me class. Followed by a play date with a good friend who also has a two year old son. A little shopping, a nice lunch at home, gonna take advantage of the good weather to work on my daughters modeling portfolio, she's gorgeous. So you get the idea.....the point is you aren't ME, calling some one miserable when they haven't said they are can be presumptuous and it conveys the idea that I don't know my own mind. Thought I'd point that out, since you seem genuinely caring. (Not like some here who bring the claws out. Lol.)