My FDH is also a slob. His mother isn't and she still has a (teenage) kid in the home, so I know he was taught.

Dunno what his issue is, but I accept it and clean up after him. I also MAKE him clean. (I put it like this: I see you don't care about being clean. But I do. Do you care about me? Yes, you do. So clean for ME. He totally gets that and helps out.)

But SD learned that Daddy doesn't care if she's gross. And she's also naturally just a slob on her own. Shrug. I try to pick my battles. Some stuff is annoying, some stuff is unsanitary. Unsanitary isn't OK in my home.

Ex is gross, and stinky, he didn't get like that till after the ring was secure...I have to ride and yell and follow around DS15 with attitude to keep himself tidy. He is gross just like his father...
SS is the farter, he will fart and laugh and DH yells and tells him he is gross and leave the room...its been going on for 4 year with the farting, including at the dinner table some nights,
The question is not DH being a slob, because he takes good care of himself

I can't count how many times we have picked up the Skids and they smelled so bad we had to drive with the windows down. I have even made them throw the socks away they were wearing they smelled so bad. BF and I can't make their BM tell them to take showers. They are 8 and 10. How old are kids when they take showers without being told?

Yep, I blame my husband 100% for SD's lack of hygiene when she visits. She's gone for 4 days without bathing before. If he does give her a bath, he doesn't brush her hair afterwards, so it dries really funny with different chunks sticking out in the wrong places. He also doesn't help her groom herself properly when we go out of the house. BM sends clothes that don't fit and we don't have much for her to choose from anymore since it's in the CO for BM to send clothes. SD looks so feral. It's actually kind of embarrassing to be out in public with her because people assume she's mine.

I've said stuff to nasty kids...and I assume their parents would appreciate it. My cousins (tweens) come over and I am quick to tell them to say "excuse me", cover their mouths when coughing/sneezing, and that they are NOT going anywhere with me if their hair looks a mess. They love me and ask to come over often.

Now SD is generally clean, but one day she walked into my room (!), with a LOT of SNOT hanging from her face. She was putting one of my decorative paper towels up to her face *about to* wipe her nose. She says, "Blayze, you need some more paper towels in the bathroom!"

I was appalled.

"Ugh! That's disgusting! Get out of my room and don't ever tell me what to do again! Just nasty!" And I would have dismissed it as regular kid behavior had she not had the "snotty" BM tone when telling me that I needed to re-up on my paper towels.

I tell SO and he goes, "I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it."

Sure, SO. She farts, burps, and is unladylike. I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but someone has to tell her that the behavior is gross. You're obviously too afraid to, so I guess I'll have to do it. I'm not paying to live with nasty ass people.

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I'll add though, ANY adult can do this. When I was in 4th or 5th grade, I was riding with my uncle in the backseat while my mom and grandma were in the front. I said something and my uncle goes, "Wow. Your breath stinks! I've never smelled breath so bad on a kid." LMAO!

From that day forward, I asked my mom for gum and mints often...sometimes a little embarrassment does you good!

What? Really.... I mean.... Seriously. I know your all not joking about this. I just can't even begin to imagine how I would handle some of this. I'd have probably been locked up.

Trust me, I fought like hell to put a stop to SD16 and her lazy, nasty habits. And my DH is NOT a slob, or I promise you I never would have married him! He is just a Disney dad. He didn't want to "yell" at SD when she first moved in about her nastiness, so he basically set precedent right then and there that it was OK. I would jump up and down about it, bitch and rant and rave about it, but I was just the asshole who "hated sd16" So fast forward 2 years and DH is at his wits end about her nastiness and he'll yell at her, shame her, try to explain to her nicely and what happens every time is she'll (semi) pick up her room/bathroom for about a week and then? Right back to square one.

It's maddening! Every inch of our 2500 square foot house is clean EXCEPT for SD16 room and bathroom. You would think she'd be embarrassed or ashamed.. but nope.

I don't really know why the Mini-Seahag isn't all up on wanting to be washed and groomed all the time...her mother is constantly dressed/smelling like a whore in church, you smell her cheap perfume before she exits her vehicle... Mini-Seahag can't even turn on the shower by herself...she needs SO to turn it off and she doesn't use deodorants/scents/anything. She's 10.

Now, I'm not saying she should be drowning in tramp du jour body spray...but when I was her age my mom would get me those sets that had body wash, splash spray, and scented sparkle body powder. They were lightly scented and geared towards younger girls, but it was my own version of what my mom used (so I didn't waste her expensive stuff) and I used it every day...I guess I was held to a higher standard and therefor held myself up there?

I don't know - on a whim a few years ago I bought her a set of scented soaps etc for the bath...I'm pretty sure they're collecting dust under the sink. No dice, if she wants to be grimey and smelly, she can stay with the Grand High Seahag.

I don't get the not bathing thing. I really don't! One time about 4 years ago we had a snow day (I'm in education) so I didn't bother to shower that morning. Well late that morning, BS4 became sick with a virus or flu or something. The next morning (when I would have been showering and getting ready for work) I became sicker than a dog with whatever BS4 had. I could hardly get off the couch all day, showering was not an option. By late that night I could not freaking stand the smell of MYSELF!

TWO days without a shower and I was making myself sick with my stench. How can people goes daya, weeks, whatever, smelling like that? they have to be able to smell themselves!!!??

Of course I also don't get the not using toilet paper thing (like SD16) BARF!

This is ironic because DH is pretty anal about his cleanliness, sometimes showering three times a day. But he professed not to smell SD's stench. It was so bad that even with her bedroom door closed (at the end of the hall), you could still smell her stench in the hallway. God help you if her door was open, you could smell the stench DOWNSTAIRS! :jawdrop: DH's response every time I brought smell or bad hygiene to his attention? You guessed it, I was "picking on her."

I still fondly (sarcasm) remember the ONE time he tried to do something about it, which involved keeping her clean underwear in our room and handing her a fresh pair to wear every day (she was going a week wearing the same pair, even AFTER showering). I think he made two days before he decided it was more trouble than it was worth and I was just "picking on her" and BM jumped on him for "embarrassing" SD and he dropped the whole effort. She just stunk for ever after that.