Let the PAS begin
"Donkeykong,
I will not fight with you over this. If you refuse to pay for tutoring, I certainly cannot force you to, only to say that I think it is a shame since not only does SS need this, but SS wants this too. Obviously, your priorities are elsewhere. My priority is SS's education. If you will not provide support on your end, I will find a way to make sure SS gets the help he needs. Just so you know, we have already banned him from video games and all electronic devices and are making him study and review his notes on the days he has no homework. As for this cruise you have planned, I cannot give you my consent until I know for certain that SS does not have to attend summer school OR that the summer school schedule does not conflict with the days of your planned vacation. Since neither of us will know until June-July, my answer is no. I ask that you stick to stipulation in the CO regarding the summertime visitation schedule.
DW"
This was DW’s final word on the subject. Unfortunately, this is far from over. SS was with Donkeykong this weekend for his normal visitation schedule.
ALL weekend, SS has been texting DW (using Donkeykong’s phone).
“Mom, I really want to go on the cruise. Can I go?”
“Dad has to book it this week. Can you tell him you’ll let me go?”
“Mom, please! Dad needs an answer.”
“Mom, this is a family vacation. This has nothing to do with summer school.”
What I wrote above is just half of the texts SS sent. Finally, DW had enough when SS was sending texts at midnight.
So she answered this: “I already answered your father on this. Please stop sending me texts on this subject.”
I pick up SS on Sunday and bring him home. SS and DW right away went at it.
SS: “Why can’t I go on the cruise!? It’s not fair!”
DW: “I didn’t say you can’t go. All I said was, until I know if you have to attend summer school and that the summer school schedule doesn’t conflict with the cruise schedule, only then will I allow it.”
SS: “Dad says if I have to go to summer school, I can still go on the cruise!”
DW: “Oh really? How? Does he know when summer school is going to be?”
SS: “Yes, he said it shouldn’t conflict. You’re the one preventing me from going!”
DW: “Your Dad does not know this for certain SS. The summer school schedule won’t be released until June or July.”
SS: “By then it will be too late!”
DW: “Too late for what?”
SS: “He has to book it this week. Can you please just let me go!?”
DW: “No SS!”
SS: “WHY!?!??!” *sobbing*
DW: “We’re going around in circles! I am not arguing with you on this. You can go on the cruise, IF you don’t have to go to summer school. If you do have to go to summer school, then you can only go if the summer school schedule doesn’t conflict….”
SS: “I DON’T CARE ABOUT SUMMER SCHOOL!”
DW: “Excuse me?”
SS: “I WANT TO GO WITH DAD ON THE CRUISE. DAD IS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING! YOU WON’T HAVE TO PAY FOR SUMMER SCHOOL OR THE CRUISE! SO WHY SHOULD YOU CARE!?!?
Needless to say, DW was shocked. She couldn’t sleep last night as she was absolutely livid.
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Comments
I did say something...but it
I did say something...but it was in French (I resort to French when I don't want the kids to understand what I'm saying)
Oh I didn't say anything
Oh I didn't say anything nasty.
Roughly translated, I said "DW, cool it. SS is frutrated and he just doesn't understand. Leave him be."
He's not booking anything
He's not booking anything until he gets written confirmation from DW. In other words, he wants assurances that his chosen dates for the summer are inviolate no matter what happens. DW won't do that.
Can't. Won't. Not really much
Can't. Won't. Not really much of a difference at this point.
If summer school was not in the cards DW would allow it with the stipulation that this is for next summer ONLY (to avoid the status quo bullshit that Donkeykong has tried to pull in the past).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Absolutely
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Absolutely this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Funny, I told DW this morning
Funny, I told DW this morning that SS needs to start learning that there are consequences to failing and this is one of them.
>Does donkeykong pay child
>Does donkeykong pay child support?<
Yes.
$200 a month.
I know how it sounds, and DW
I know how it sounds, and DW doesn't have a good track record. She's a guilty parent but she is trying. She has really put the squeeze on SS these last few days and I keep telling her that she is doing the right thing. As for CS, DW really, really, REALLY didn't want to go revisit it but now she feels she has no choice. She's lost a LOT of sleep over this and the stress of work is weighing her down too.
>A lot of this reaks of
>A lot of this reaks of control/manipulation to get what you want- he should be able to plan a damn vacation with his son.<
It's not control or manipulation. It's truth. No one has any intention to get Donkeykong to change. We know he won't change. But yeah, Donkeykong should be able to plan a vacation with his son without jeapordizing his future. Right now he has his son convinced that it is okay to miss summer school and repeat a whole year just so he can go on this cruise. That ain't happening. I told DW already if SS has to repeat a year because of this fiasco, he can do so while living under his father's roof; not mine.
I'll concede to that point,
I'll concede to that point, but the email is gone now...
Anyways, even IF DW worded the letter exactly like your first comment, we would still be in this mess....
I like your take. I only wish
I like your take.
I only wish we could somehow go back and make it this way....Unfortunately you are exactly right, both DK and SS believe he should go on this cruise regardless of SS's performance in school.
^^^THIS. I actually think
^^^THIS.
I actually think the cruise could be the golden carrot. DK should really play this up to SS "I'm booking the cruise so you better pass, boy" and "I booked the cruise, you aren't going if you fail AND you will pay me the money for your seat by working once summer school is over".
You just reminded me of the
You just reminded me of the one time SS and FIL tried to teach SS to play chess. Apparently SS was told that the King moves exactly like the Queen. We told SS how the King is supposed to move and SS just replied "Well I don't play that way."
Eff me, there is only ONE WAY to play chess but this kid....UGH!....I had to leave the room.
*LOL* He's in Grade 9, but
He's in Grade 9, but many of his skills/aptitudes are still at the Grade 8 level.
He has the reading comprehension of a 6th grader.
The most brain-stimulating
The most brain-stimulating book I've seen him read was the strategy guide to Batman: Arkham Nights
Hey, I read strategy guides
Hey, I read strategy guides too!
I'm not a nerd, I'm a
I'm not a nerd, I'm a Geek!
If you're going to insult me, do it properly!