If your SO never had kids, how would things be different?
Obviously I know there are a ton of different scenarios and how life could play out if your SO had NEVER met BM and had kids.
Some of us may never have met our SO, if it wasnt for their prior life with BM.
Just curious though, how do you think things would be different?
- zerostepdrama's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I would have never met SO if
I would have never met SO if he didn't have kids. He would not have been in the situation to take the job where I work.
If he did marry Shitty (BM) and got a job at my work, I don't think we would have gotten together after they divorced if they didn't have kids. He probably would have been more inclined to date around and party but with the kids, that wasn't want he wanted for them.
DH ended up in my state
DH ended up in my state because he was running away from BM. LOL. But then he ended up bringing her and the kids here to work on their marriage for the 500th time. So its a strong possiblity that DH never would have made it to my state if it wasnt for BM. And we never would had met.
DH and I would probably have our own family together if he never had any kids before. He got a vasectomy after the skids. I never really thought about having kids with him, after seeing how he parents his own kids.
I like to think though, had he had kids with me, I would hold him more accountable as a father. I know I am a better mother then BM, so I think things would have been different all around.
If DH didnt have kids and I have my BS, I dont think that would make a difference. DH does his own thing anyways, so having BS around really doesnt affect DH's life.
I know if DH never had kids, things would be BETTER for me. Less stress, less hurt, resentment and anger. Ahhhh to never have to deal with the toxic people....
I would probably have a better relationship with my in-laws. I'm stand offish to them some times since they are kind of sort of friends with BM. Just through FB but they comment and like her pictures and to me I feel a little offended. Like HELLO ya all talk about how she is so crazy and treated DH like crap, yet you LIKE pictures of her? WTF?????
There would less stress, more
There would less stress, more money, and less damage to the house. The only problem I see we would have if he had no children is him wanting a kid of his own, but he still wants another. Since he has so many now it's an easy win for me as to why we can't have more. lol
BM lived in my city when she
BM lived in my city when she met my husband who was living in another city at the time. He moved here when she got pregnant. I never would've met him if he hadn't met BM. And the way I'm feeling this week, I probably would've been better off if I'd never met him at all, regardless of SD's existence.
DH might have the funds in
DH might have the funds in his retirement which he should have for his age. He also might have had a nice house instead of a little shack for a home. However, I have to admit DH sucks on being even slightly smart about spending and saving. If it was not for entitled oldest 2 skids weddings, we would have completed the home improvements on the house. The home improvements he promised before marriage. DH moved in with me in my house which was paid off before we married. Entitled skids come before home improvements. DH told me...WE CAN TAKE A LOAN OUT ON THE HOUSE! My reply...OVER MY DEAD BODY! We will have been married 4 years next month...projects are still not done. We have put a good dent on the list to be done.
We had this discussion with
We had this discussion with friends over drinks one night. Everyone going back 'What would you change about your life? DH says 'I'm glad for everything that has ever happened in our lives. I wouldn't not change one thing. If one thing might have been out of place, we may not ever have met so anything that happened brought me to HungryEyes. There's nothing I would change.'
It was really a kind thing to say. I would not have appreciated his kindness and goodness in my 20s and he might not have been ready to handle a real woman if not for having dealt with BM.
Wow, where to begin? DH would
Wow, where to begin? DH would never wish either of the kids away, and neither would I, but he wishes he never had them with BM. (Well, he DIDN'T have Faux with her, but I digress.)
How would things be different? We wouldn't be going through a CPS investigation right now. We'd have saved thousands and thousands in court costs as well as the CS that is coming our way. We wouldn't have gone through years of stress dealing with Faux's tantrums and school issues and mental health hospitalizations. We wouldn't have had to deal with SSociopath's constant lies and ignoring us and disrespecting us and our home. We wouldn't have had to install cameras in our home to catch him stealing. DH wouldn't have been under BM's control all these years for fear of losing his kids, when they were lost to him the day they were born. He wouldn't be grieving the loss of his two sons. I wouldn't be filled with resentment. We wouldn't be fearing the damage that is yet to come to our future because no matter that she's "won," she'll never stop trying to destroy DH simply because she's a miserable bitch who hates her life and he's finally happy.
DH wanted to leave before
DH wanted to leave before they even had kids. You know how some people sense that their partner is pulling away and think that having a baby will fix their marriage? Yeah that was BM. She stopped taking the pill.
So chances are, if he had been able to make his escape earlier, he would have ended up with a better woman than BM and I would have missed out on ever meeting him. I wasn't even living in the same state at that time.
I would have had a child.
I would have had a child.