Nice.

SO talks about getting Skids braces, buying them cars and paying for college. Yeah ok, he's go broke from the CS that none of that will happen but I just nod and agree.

My SS16 and my DH have discussed the car purchase over the last two years. SS wanted time to save money and then DH said he will match and find him a car. Since he lives at BM during the week to stay in the same school she and her husband agreed that we would buy SS the car and they would pay for half of the insurance and SS would contribute. It was discussed at length and all agreed. Welllll lo and behold she drops the bomb on DH two weeks ago stating that her husband now is just going to add SS to the insurance and he can use one of their cars when not in use. They are never home and take both of their vehicles. DH was excited since he has shopped for over a year and SS could now drive himself and brother to our house instead of having to change our schedules every weekend to make sure that BM was at the pickup place at a decent time. BM still has not told SS that he is not getting a vehicle - she is waiting for DH to tell him. Only good light is that I have an extra great condition vehicle that he can use. I feel bad for SS - he works hard, great grades and a star athelete. Yay BM!

I honestly don't think it's up to any parent to buy their kid a car. Luckily for me, DH didn't have to buy SD20 a car when she turned 16..that was the one and only time BM and her one-upping us (she gave SD20 her old car so she could get a new one) worked out for the better. I'm no judge and don't know much about the laws but CS should NOT go for a car either. Making the kids get a job and their own income and buying their own car teaches maturity and responsibility..damn these entitled kids these days! My parents never bought myself or my siblings a car and I will NEVER buy my own kids a car. If parents wanna help out a little bit, whatever..but I'd never buy my kids a car. In fact, my oldest son will be 14 in February and I've already been nagging him about thinking about his future and when he's old enough, he'll need to get a job (i think the age is 15 or 16) and in the mean time, look for part time work, cleaning yards and working for the elderly and whatnot. My youngest son is 10, loves having money to buy matchbox cars, so he's already started doing odd little jobs for some of the neighborhood elderly people.

Zero, we seem to be living the life of each other.

My DH also bought a "side truck" with intents to fix it up (he did put a new transmission in it). At the same time his worthless brother's van blew up, then got repossessed, so DH gave it to his brother with the agreement that brother would pay DH $150/month. That was over a year ago... we haven't seen a dollar of it.

Then both DH's kids, who had waited until they were 17 and 18 to get licenses, both wanted cars. DH's dad had saved money to give each of them $2500 - if they wanted to add more to get a better car, they could. Of course they didn't, neither worked nor saved their money DH's parents sent them on a monthly basis, they'd spend it all on stupid stuff (who needs a $4000 desktop gaming computer??). And DH was paying a LOT of CS so couldn't afford to continue to pitch in more money.

At the same time, my DD16 was doing driver's ed and I was looking for a car for her (money that I'd saved out of her social security benefits). I found a really excellent deal for a small SUV, and even DH was impressed with the car and the price. Older, but in really great condition, low miles, the interior was spotless, nothing whatsoever wrong with the engine, etc. I paid $3900 for it.

Skids fussed because my DD had more money put into her car than their cars. Tough shit. My DD has ONE parent, and does not have grandparents who can afford to send her $500 every month like they do. And funny, but NEITHER of SK's parents could afford to chip in money but DD's one parent could afford it all? Skids, bitch to your parents about THAT.

One skid didn't like any of the cars DH found for $2500, and one day showed up with one that DH had not had a chance to look at (DH used to be a mechanic) or drive. Needless to say, that car has been nothing but a PITA - DH ended up putting another $1000 worth of parts into it because the fan seized, shattered the fan, shredded the radiator and hoses, and was an absolute mess. Also, the valve heads were leaking and needed replaced. SK simply bought the car for prestige sake, it's a BMW (which I now insist stands for Break My Wallet -sorry to BMW owners).

Skids are still unemployed (out of high school since May) and the only reason they come over anymore is to have their hoopties worked on. And of course, DH gets left holding the bill.

Ugh.

i was a COD and my parents (dad and stepmom) bought us cars. didnt turn us into entitled assholes, tho', cuz they had raised us right in the 16 years prior!!!

we bought oss his first car. now every time he asks gas money we say "get a job".

zero, wtf is she 15 going on 5? she makes me want to stab my eyeball out with a fork to hear the way she 'talked' thru her texts. GAH.

I disagree, I had a small used pickup truck for my BS19 and now SS16 uses it. I am giving my son, my SUV when I buy a new one soon. I think it is how you raise them. Neither of the boys expected a car. It is not theirs, it is ours and we let them use it. We pay for everything since their job is school. Now both of them are good students and have goals. I do not want them worrying about a car or insurance or maintenance, I want them to worry about school. I did make BS pay for gas in HS. He worked part time as a dishwasher for spending money. Now, I don't when he is home. Neither boy will have a car on campus until at least Junior year. Fees are $900 for a parking pass at college. Not worth it until they are in a work study program.

As long as they are raised right, they treat a car well and respect it. I do not ever want my son's grades to go down because he had to work to pay for a car. My goal for him is graduate with out loans and get a job and launch. He has enough time in his life to worry about a car payment.

I disagree, I had a small used pickup truck for my BS19 and now SS16 uses it. I am giving my son, my SUV when I buy a new one soon. I think it is how you raise them. Neither of the boys expected a car. It is not theirs, it is ours and we let them use it. We pay for everything since their job is school. Now both of them are good students and have goals. I do not want them worrying about a car or insurance or maintenance, I want them to worry about school. I did make BS pay for gas in HS. He worked part time as a dishwasher for spending money. Now, I don't when he is home. Neither boy will have a car on campus until at least Junior year. Fees are $900 for a parking pass at college. Not worth it until they are in a work study program.

As long as they are raised right, they treat a car well and respect it. I do not ever want my son's grades to go down because he had to work to pay for a car. My goal for him is graduate with out loans and get a job and launch. He has enough time in his life to worry about a car payment.

Reminds me of the SD car incident of 2009. So the "second" SD turns 16 and gets her license she "needs" a car. SD was not living with us at the time, was living with BM and DH paid support and rarely saw SD (maybe once every two months). Well, at the time we had three cars and I thought we could give SD our family sedan to drive. DH owned it since it was new, it was about 10 years old, I still drove it regularly with my two BDs. Perfectly safe. Nothing special, but clean and well taken care of. Guess what?! Yep, that wasn't "good enough" for SD.

So, DH approached me about how much money "We" should give SD to buy a car. I said $500 and he hit the roof. If BM gave her $500, she would have $1000. Plus, BM's parents had promised SD money. Plus, if it is to be "SD's car," then she should chip in toward the purchase. Plus, a car at age 16 (she had no job) is a want and not a need. I got to drive my parents' car when it was available until I went to college, and then the first year I had to carpool home. I didn't have a car until I bought an old one myself at age 19.

Edited to add: Years earlier, anticipating the car drama, I told DH to talk with SD and offer to "match" 50 cents on the dollar all the money she was able to save up toward a car. After all, the kid at any given time would have $100+ in her wallet, from DH and BM and BM's mom all trying to buy her love. DH and SD both thought I was "mean" to expect her to save her "hard-earned" :? money.

Gack. I hate all things step-related.

When I was 15 I told my dad I wanted a car. He responded "want a car? Get a job. Want a phone? Get a job. Want to be able to drive the car with insurance? Get a job." Although at the time I thought he was the worst... He instilled a work ethic in me like no other. When I bought my $1000 car, he was nice enough to buy new tires for it, without me asking. I will be instilling this work ethic with my kiddies... Make em work for the big stuff so it is appreciated, and help out with the little stuff because I care and want them to be safe.