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About to choke on the damn double standard

Elizabeth's picture

So oldest BD (mine and DH's) had her first school dance last week. Middle school. Admission was $5.

Dh actually said to me and BD11, "That's kind of pricy for a school dance, isn't it?"

:jawdrop: :?

I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have, but I said, "Hmmm, you can spend hundreds of dollars on prom for SD but $5 is too much for BD11 to go to a dance?"

And then he started pontificating about how it was different because SD's prom was at a nice place (BD11's dance was in the school gym). But Dh paid for SD's dress, nails, hair, etc.

I know it's not about SD, I shouldn't have gone there, but seriously? You're balking at $5 for BD11 to spend 2 hours having fun with other kids her age?

Comments

No saint's picture

That's being cheap and taking double standards to another level, with his OWN daughter. That's really sad and I'm sorry both you and your DD had to go through it; it may not seem much, but that's the kind of attitude that conveys someone's (despicable) personality. Sorry for being so blunt.

Elizabeth's picture

And the worst part is he said it in front of BD11, and then he acts like he doesn't understand where I am coming from. Seriously DH, you just told BD11 she's not worth $5?!

No saint's picture

Yep, you are right: that's the worst part. Hope it was just temporary insanity, because that's one sick attitude.

Indigo's picture

$5 for 2 hours ? Excellent entertainment. Perhaps you should have taken DD and 3 of her closest friends to a movie with popcorn and soda and ?? Seriously? DH needs a reality check.

Elizabeth's picture

I know right? They hired a DJ, they would have to set up before and clean up afterwards, etc. He needs a frying pan to the head.

Justme54's picture

I hear you. May I ask...what was the grand total for dress, nails, hair and etc.? I was coloring my own hair at home when I meet DH. I did not get my nails done professional until I was 40 years old. Hey, money is NOT an issue with skids.

Elizabeth's picture

I don't know grand total, he kept that from me. I do know she custom ordered her dress one year and that was at least $400. She also went to more than one year of prom, so double the expense. Had her hair and makeup done, nails done, went tanning a bunch before, one year she had a date but the other she went with a group of friends, so add in cost of the ticket, plus I'm sure DH gave her money for food. And yet, $5 is too much to spend on BD11.

StepX2's picture

Isn't this the same man who coudn't dish out a few dollars for a book order (Scholastic or something like that) a few years back...just after giving SD a load of money for a bull shit reason?

ChiefGrownup's picture

The school gym needs a janitor and other staff for the dance plus other stuff (decorations, etc). Where does he think the money for that comes from, Monopoly? He has some crazy notion the five bucks is for the school principal to run off to Monaco. But really infuriating he had no problem laying out all that dough for his OTHER daughter. Sheesh. Sorry this happened, Elizabeth.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

I think I remember paying $5 for a school dance and that was um... 1980 something. That's pretty darn cheap.

Mercury's picture

Wow. Aside from him being clueless about operation costs and whatnot, how the heck is this supposed to make your daughter feel? She has to know that he doles out money for his other daughter, right? Yuck.

Silent River's picture

This sounds like a classic case of guilty parent syndrom on your DH's part!

Parenting off of guilt is ineffective parenting.

It sounds like for what ever reason, he feels guilty about dragging his kid through He!! and is overcompensating. Mine does that too and it is pretty painful for me. I hate seeing mine treated with a different set of standerds.

Sorry you are going through this. :,(

Teas83's picture

I hear you. I see the same kind of double standards for my SD6 and my DD1 (my husband is the father to both). It's one of the reasons we are separated and going to counselling.

misSTEP's picture

He DOES need a frying pan upside the head. Obviously ALL of you are lower on the totem pole than precious SD. Sickening.

Elizabeth's picture

And if I said that to him (All of us are lower on the totem pole than precious SD), he would tell me I was wrong. But his actions say otherwise.