Married 13 years to a wonderful man. He has a 26 year old son (non-biological) from a previous relationship. I have a 24 daughter from a former marriage. When there are issues with our kids, his perspective on my daughter's handling of things, is different than of his son. When we were first dating, he and his son would come to my condo and we all would spend the weekends together. His son resented me from day one, cried all the time (he was 13 years old at the time) unless my husband took him to the Mall and bought him an expensive toy, or cry if we didn't eat at the restaurant we wanted. When I would speak to him he would ignore me or pee all over the bathroom toilet and not clean up. When I kept trying to talk to my husband about this, he would tell me to "relax, he's just a kid". I even tried to reach out to the boy's Mom to see if she would be willing to help and for doing so, my husband left me and my daughter for two weeks. No matter how hard I tried to bond with his son, as I was elated that I was going to have a son, he made it clear over and over to me he wasn't going to have it. I blame my husband for most of this. My husband racked up his credit cards over gifts for his son and his son's mother (his former girlfriend) and was in debt when I met him. The son's mother had cheated on my husband, that's what broke up their relationship. The mother of his son even called once after quitting her job, asking my husband to help with her car payments. We got married, beautiful wedding, had our children as our best man and maid of honor. Gave them each a beautiful necklace that symbolizes us becoming a family together and kept trying to encourage both children what a great life the 4 of us were about to have. I've ready every book out there on stepparenting, etc. Gone to pastors. We purchased a home together and it was like pulling teeth when my stepson was in his late teen's to get him to come visit. This past year, he's blown us off 4 times, just told his Dad he is an awful father and will only meet with is fathe "alone". His mother and grandmother were evicted from their condo and he moved in with his girlfriend. I am so hurt by this non-stop, 15 year manipulation by his son. My daughter and my husband always got along great, until a recent argument over the summer in which my husband asked my daughter to leave (she was living with us) and told her never to come back again. My daughter moved in with my sister. A few months ago however, my husband did try to apologize and reach out to her, but she is not ready. I feel like although I knew this young man that was raised like a son to him may have some resentment towards his Dad's new partner, I never would have imagined that my husband would cater to him the way he does and not encourage him to be part of our family. Instead, my husband talks to him when I'm not around and gives him hope they can get toether without me. I thought marriage was a covenant "forsaking" all others meaning husband and wife give preference to one another and that kids need to understand there is one relationship in the family that transcends all other relationships and can't be toyed with. Although I love my husband very much, I'm thinking about leaving as its not right to ask him to make a choice, even though his son clearly is.