So we met with the child psychiatrist Tuesday to go over the results of SD's ADOS testing and it has been determined that she does not meet the qualifications to be diagnosed with autism. However, she does have some sensory integration issues, a speech delay, ADHD, and anxiety and the therapists feel they can help her out a lot with speech, occupational, and physical therapy. I personally feel this is the best news we could have gotten. The horse had already left the barn on whether or not there was some sort of problem we were just trying to zero in on exactly what the issue is and how severe.
So, now we know it is not severe and we are finally going to get help.

The psychiatrist discussed ADHD meds with us and while there are days where I think either she is going on meds or I am we had already discussed it and decided that we would like to avoid going down that road if we can. We want to try behavior modification techniques and see how effective her therapies are and will revisit the medication topic later if needed. I also pointed out that we should talk to BM about that because if she happened to be against it and refused to give SD her meds when she was with her then that was going to be a problem. DH texted BM everything the psychiatrist said and she let him know that she absolutely does not want SD on any meds of any kind and that we need to work together as a team to help SD through this.

Perhaps it is petty of me but that just chaps my ass. For one thing, she hasn't worked with us on a damn thing since DH got custody. For another thing, while BM didn't create some of these problems she sure as hell didn't help them. When it got too hard she gave up custody and gives up her scheduled visitation whenever there will be actual parenting involved because that is too much work for her. She is her mother and therefore is entitled to a say in her medical care. That said, you do not get to create a problem, walk away from it, dump it in my lap to fix, and then dictate to me what I can and can't do to fix it. Thank god we weren't discussing this in person because I would have said something to the effect of "yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to get on your high horse about not wanting SD on any meds of any kind when you only deal with her 4 days a month if SD is lucky. Try dealing with it every day and then get back to me."

On a separate note, according to the CO BM is responsible for 29% of SD's medical expenses not covered by DH's insurance. Now, I don't want to quibble about petty amounts like demanding 29% of the $30 copay I paid to take SD to the doctor on Friday when she was sick. However, SD is racking up medical bills fast and they are about to get exponentially higher. The psychiatrist does not bill any insurance at all so it is all self pay. So far we have paid the psychiatrist alone $500 and it looks like we already owe the dentist $380 or so and we are only half way done with the dental work she needs done. The physical therapist recommended AFO braces which I think cost something crazy like $1500 or more and her therapies (which looks like she will be attending therapy 3 times a week but I'm not sure yet) are covered at 80% but both of those things are only covered after the $2000 deductible is met. DH sat down and added up our out of pocket medical expenses for SD since November and it is already sitting at $1300 and that is not counting any of the dental work or the psychiatrist so we are already up over $2000 since November with another few thousand coming in short order.

I asked him at the psychiatrists office if he needed an extra copy of the receipt to turn in to the FOC to have BM contribute and he said no. As he was sitting down adding it up last night and looking at the procedure for getting BM to pay her share he says "I'm not sure if it will end up being worth it." Ummmm......yeah man, we aren't talking about a couple hundred dollars here we are looking at a thousand from her minimum with out considering the three times weekly therapies. Fill out the paperwork.

Apparently the procedure is he has to fill out a sheet to send to BM directly and she has 30 days to pay him her share. If she doesn't, then he has to submit paperwork to the FOC to tack it onto her child support. I don't know for sure but surely there are some kind of stipulations or guidelines for how this is handled when the child has special needs isn't there? Anyway, I asked him if he was going to give her a heads up or just let her find out when she got the bill in the mail and he said he was just going to let her find out when she opened the mail. That's going to go over well.