First off, this is NOT your fault. You couldn't have changed his mind and it sounds like he was hiding a lot from you. You will be okay, you're main priority is going to be there for yourself and your baby. You should probably go check your bank accounts and make sure the bills and whatever all all paid up in advance as you can while you transition to becoming the sole provider for baby. You need to talk to someone, anyone that can help you out right now. You can be a single mom, many women here and in the real world do it everyday. You need to focus on what needs to be done now so you can cry your heart out later. I'm very sorry this happened to you, it is the worse nightmare I can even imagine. Prayers for you and your baby.

Honey, I'm so, so sorry. I feel sick to my stomach and i don't even know you.
Please, do not give up. you have a child to raise and your life is worth a million to those who love you.
You are NOT alone. I'm here, we are all here!
I f you can, take your child to day care or a sitter and just breathe and try to clear your mind. Have a friend over or a relative you can trust; if you don't feel like it, don't tell anyone (I didn't, just cried) but cry, shout or just stay silent while around someone who loves you.
We are here and never EVER forget you are precious; maybe not to that piece of scum (oh, how I want to call him so many other names) but to many others.

Oh my gosh! I am SO very sorry to hear this! Thoughts and prayers are with you! ((HUGS))

I am so sorry. HUGS TO YOU! The problem is NOT you. It is your DH. Sadly, it is clear now...your DH never put closer on his feelings for BM.

I sound not say this. After all, I do not have a crystal ball or am I a gambler. I bet money they were sleeping together during your pregnancy.

I would get counseling, if I were you. Are you employed? I hope so. If you are employed, are you back to work? I would also get a lawyer ASAP.

HUGS!

So sorry. Bug hugs. Its time to protect yourself. There is no way around this but through it. Need to make sure you are protected financially.

Big hugs. You will get through this. It takes time, buts its going to be ok down the road.

hugs

Sorry.

You did nothing wrong. This is all on him.

(((HUGS)))

I busted my husband cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant with our third child. He left open his email. He had been cheating on me for pretty much our entire marriage. I had been very much in love and very happy and my world came crashing down upon me. His mistress had the unmitigated gall to say to me, "a different life doesn't necessarily mean an unhappy life." I wanted to punch her in the face. She stole my dreams and my hopes. That baby I was pregnant with when we split is now 6 years old.

My advice to you is grieve and cry. Cry for your lost dreams and hopes for the family that you wanted. Take some time and wallow in depression. It's going to hurt real bad. Step two is you got to hit the ground running. You are about to be a single parent. You are going to have to be very strong for yourself and your baby and build a life for the two of you. I had to work two jobs. I had to get a live in babysitter. I had to have yard sales to come up with the money for a divorce lawyer. It's going to school plays all by yourself and being sick with the flu and having to take care of a little one too. It may mean having to send that baby you love over to the viperpit of exhusband and BM. Hopefully they will just disappear but they may not so go get to the lawyer. BM is going to be your kid's stepmother. That right there is my worst nightmare. You are going to need a damn good lawyer. You can not be weak.

I am so sorry! That has got to be the worst. These ladies have given you great advice. Please take care of yourself and your baby
{hugs}

I'm so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine how you feel right now. Take care of you, and seek support from your family, friends and loved ones. Steptalk is also a great support system in my opinion.

Don't you DARE feel sorry for yourself. Instead, you should channel all that energy into getting REALLY angry. Angry enough to make him wish he never fucking crossed you. #1 - check your bank accounts and put everything in your name. #2 - make sure all bills are up to date, take your name off of ANYTHING that may be his. #3 - LAWYER UP NOW. #4 - Show that son of a bitch why even the bible says that HELL HATH NO FURY.

Not your fault. He's apparently never been honest with you. You were in love with someone who didn't exist, a hologram he projected. Now you see who he really is. You will miss the person you THOUGHT he was but one day you will be strong enough to be glad the REAL guy is gone.

That day is a bit in the future, I realize. So glad you called a friend to come over. Keep smelling your baby's neck and try to make baby laugh today. This will help you remember life is good and you have something to look forward to.

So sorry this happened. You didn't deserve it and you could not have prevented it.

Take a breath. You are stronger than this...Change the locks and check your bank accounts. Separate everything now...You can do this. If he left with no explanation, he is not worth having in your life. Your baby needs you to be strong. You can do this.

I am so sorry. Another poster said to take the time to wallow in your grief. I agree.
But first you need to do a few things - today if possible. Your DH has shown he is not trustworthy by the way he left you. He literally snuck away in the night! He is not to be trusted at all. See if you can channel your grief into anger and action just for awhile.

Take the majority of all money out of all your accounts. As you are not legally separated this is perfectly ok to do.

Get a new lock box in a different bank from your accounts and transfer all important papers there. (birth certificates, car titles, investment papers, stock papers, etc.)

Get a new cell phone account if you share one. You don't want him to be able to shut off your phone or to monitor it.

Get new locks on the house. Make sure your trusted friend has a key.

As soon as you can get a lawyer and file for divorce/separation. Temporary orders will go into place the day that you file. That will start child support and maybe temporary spousal maintenance.

You will be in a very dark place for awhile. If it continues too long or you don't think you can handle it, please consider getting professional help to get you through it. (therapy or even medication)

Remember, you are stronger than you can even imagine. You will come out the other side of this in a better place. We have your back.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Deep breath. Call a friend or family & depend on them for the moment. It is terrible to e sucker punched like that. Call you bank close accounts and move all your funds to where he can't get them them allow yourself to grieve. It will get better. Stay strong for your little one and give yourself time to recover. Best of Luck to you.

I don't normally advocate going the BM from Hell with Satan hounds on long leashes but in THIS CASE, you get a good lawyer and DESTROY that mother fucker and his piece of shit ex. Do everything you can to keep your baby away from him and the succu-cunt!

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.......

That is just awful and I am so sorry dear. Please do not blame yourself, it is clear he is not the person you thought he was.

Love your baby but also do act quickly to do the things they said, especially get to the bank!! priority one, attorneys, ask someone to stay with you if possible.

I am praying for you and I know you will be ok, your baby loves and needs you. Big, big hugs

You are not bad
You are not ugly
There is nothing wrong with you
You are not so awful that no one can live with you
You are a good mother
You are a good wife

Yet, this man chose to leave because his lacks integrity, faithfulness and manliness.
His character is lacking. He has a fatal character flaw.

And for the record, when my ex walked out on me and our 4 children on Jan 2nd 2000 I didn't tell my parents for 4 days and they lived 1 block away. My sister called me and I fell apart. She drove for 2 hours to be with me. (Ironically her husband was with her and he did the same thing to her 9 mths later.)

You feel dirty and unloved but you aren't. Please sweetheart, know many have walked your path before and we are here for you. The shock will hurt. Accept this for a fact. Just do not contact him. Do not contact him. Contact a lawyer and let him/her do the work. The stupidest thing I did was try and beg my ex back. I made a fool of myself. Be brave and let others steer you for now.

I am so very sorry, I wish I could just hug you and tell you that everything's gonna be ok... but you won't believe me right now.

That useless, weak, spineless, coward of a shithole does NOT deserve you or your child. He's not a man and he's not worth your spit. He has shown you his true colors and they are dark and toxic - a complete LOSER!

Please try to just focus on your child. Knowing your child needs you will give you the strength you need to get through this. That and the support of your family and close friends.

Do whatever it takes to get through this. If you have a picture of the dickwad, put it on the wall and throw darts at the fuckwit - hell, launch goddamn spears if you can get 'em! Damn, I loathe him for doing that to you!!

I'd also be sorely tempted to just disappear. Take my child and run the fuck away so he'd never be able to find me.. an island in the south pacific sounds great right about now!!

I totally believe 100% that you are better off without him. Time heals all, darl.. and please stay in touch.. we might not know you in real life, but we are real people and we're rooting for you!!