This is going to be a vent, boy do I need it!

Some background first:
I met my DF over 7 years ago on a night out, we fell in love quickly and got engaged about 6 months later. He has 3 daughters from his previous marriage and 1 daughter from a previous relationship. He left his wife as she quite publicly and over a long period of time accused him of having affairs (he wasn't) and proceeded to try and turn his family against him. He finally had enough of this and left. Shortly after he met his exGF, they were together for 6yrs before she ended the relationship when his youngest daughter was 2yrs old. We met about a year after.

I haven't posted on this forum before as I know I don't have the same set up as most SM's on here, in fact call it what it is, I have a somewhat easier set up - my DF has EOWE visits to SD8 who lives about 2.5hrs away. SD's 13, 16 and 19 are out doing their own thing and he visits them on an adhoc basis (they live about 1.5hrs away in the opposite direction).
Originally we were based 400+ miles across country close to my family but relocated 5 yrs ago so he didn't have to travel so much (his exGF refuses to let SD8 travel).

My rant today is about exW. I have never met the woman as DF says she is nasty and can turn abusive.
DF has unfortunately had 3 deaths in the family over the past couple of months, his family is based close to the eldest SDs so he has traveled to attend the funerals. As exW does not drive she has gotten the Skids to phone dad and arrange for him to give them a lift to the funeral and then expected to also get a lift. The first time this happened she apparently spent the entire journey pointing out landmarks and saying she missed him and 'remember how much fun we used to have', don't you miss us :sick: . TBH his response was great - "you can't learn anything new from the past, only repeat the same shit". She then proceeded to ensure she was stood right next to him at the service and spent the wake chatting to DF at the bar whilst ignoring her F / SD to her kids.
DF kicked up a fuss about this and funeral 2 saw her get a lift with DF's parents. Again stuck by DF at the service then refused to take a lift back with DF's parents so she ended up getting a lift with DF.
Today is the 3rd funeral. This is my DF's aunt who couldn't stand the sight of exW and yet surprise! he received a phone call from SD16 to ask what time he was coming to get them, meaning SD16, SD19 and exW!!!!!
I haven't really met DF's extended family and a funeral is not the place to do so, however I feel sick to the core that this woman is attending with the sole intention of making sure a) I don't attend (she has as much said this) b) DF, skids and exW are seen together as a family unit.

I know this is petty, and I feel crap for having these feelings around a funeral, but on the other hand I am beginning to feel like the other woman in my own relationship.

We are also at the moment having problems with exGF. A couple of years ago she decided to inform my DF that SD8 and her were going to Australia for 4 weeks about 1 week before she was leaving. This turned out to be 6 weeks (however UK law states she can only be out of the country with SD for a month at a time). DF was furious as he is constantly ignored as a parent and she was still stating that SD8 was too young to travel 2.5hrs on a monthly basis to visit him. Fast forward to this year and yet again he has been informed that SD8 and BM are going out of the country for an extended period of time, DF refused to give consent as the tickets had been booked and paid for prior to consulting him. She got solicitors involved to give him a choice of either consent to the holiday (without rearranging his visitation) or go to court. This has somewhat been resolved in that he gave consent after speaking with SD8 whilst also trying to arrange alternative visitation and some time with SD8 at our home over the school holidays. BM has requested another letter giving just the consent - so yay for huge solicitors fees.

If anyone reads this - thank you.