I hope I don't regret this........
On my own and with SO's blessing, I paid for a week of camp for the two younger skids, they have NEVER been to summer camp and I wanted to do something nice for them.
So they are coming to my house on Sunday for the week. I will get them up and fed, lunches made, take them to camp, pick them up, take them back to my house for the night, lather, rinse, repeat through Friday.
I'm a little nervous....SS11 is on the autistic spectrum, high functioning, but he has been a little snot lately. His latest thing has been telling people "you are rude" when he doesn't like what they are saying. And so help me GOD if he poops his pants at camp I will lose it. SD12 has turned into the little mother and is CONSTANTLY following him, telling him what to do, speaking for him, tattling on him, poking, touching, it's majorly annoying.
Also, I'm worrying about making sure everything is organized and ready for the kids, being on time for camp, etc.
I have to work from home for a couple of hours each day since I will be missing some time with the camp pickups and dropoffs, so I will be using the electronic babysitter, XBox and Minecraft, while I work. After that I have activities for them to do....a big backyard and my furbabies, coloring books and puzzle books, stuff like that. I will keep the kids in separate rooms if need be if SD12 can't leave her brother alone.
So, I will be needing a big dose of patience for next week and I will let y'all know how it goes!
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^^^I'm going to second
^^^I'm going to second this.
I don't mean to sound like a wet blanket but I'm assuming you're fairly new to the step hell? I've been in this for years and notthemomma is absolutely correct, it's been my experience as well. You spend money, energy, time, doing nice things for them...it blows up in your face...but they still expect you to keep doing it.
Sorry. I hope it goes better than that for you but I'm betting you will be here venting about it soon.
Yes, but it was a good four
Yes, but it was a good four years before I realized that no matter what I did I would be blamed. Two years in I was still trying, lol. That's why I was wondering how long she'd been at this, two years is still new as far as dealing with this crap.
Expect HIGH energy from all
Expect HIGH energy from all the excitement of the camp day and try to stay focused on their experiences with it.
You'll not be able to do anything but manage the chaos, but most frustrating behavior is born out of boredom. It sounds to me like you would like them to entertain themselves since they clearly cannot entertain each other. That may cause you additional frustration as often times, kids entertain themselves by driving us nuts!
Do what you can to engage them in activities and you will likely see a more cooperative attitude.
I work from home as well and understand the demands. Sometimes it is much more efficient to spend a little time here to gain a lot more time there. This doesn't mean you have to cater to every whim and request, but if you take a break yourself and do something THEY want to do (make it silly) it will likely improve your work performance simply because you will be in a better state of mind. I get very little done with 4 hours of stressful thought, but can get a boat load done in 30 mins if I am focused, happy and in a positive thought.
Anyone who expects any level
Anyone who expects any level of recognition and/or appreciation from skids is bound to be disappointed.
If it brings YOU joy to do it for them, by all means DO IT and relish in that joy.
Yes, skids (all kids) will look for you to continuously give more. How much we give before we reach the limit is up to the individual.
I think it is very nice and
I think it is very nice and will be very hard and maybe you will regret it but I think it will be really a nice thing and they will have fun.
If he poops his pants he poops his pants. Learning and growth happens and we can't control everything. Maybe they will more relaxed when they come home from a busy full day and they can watch tv/hang and won't be all over each other (as what happens when kids are bored!)
No good deed goes unpunished.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I agree somewhat with
I agree somewhat with Internal Combustion: anything you do to get these kids socialized and in structure (camp) will be its own reward.
When I have had full care of both skids it has gone beautifully and they thrived. I had them on structure, enrichment activities, chores, free time, proper behavior, rewards, and a schedule. Perfect kids turned out. Back to their bio parents chaos--monsters.
My stepson is autistic and his sister is two years older. She taunts him, too. Pokes, bosses, etc. All the crap. It nearly killed me to live through that for a year then I blew and I put a stop to it myself. I agree with Internal, it will be its own reward for you. Don't expect thanks or acknowledgment or even that either one will remember it.
Thanks internal.....I like
Thanks internal.....I like that....optimism and a dash of realistic expectations.
And I am not expecting any level of recognition or appreciation, Mainly, not sure where you picked up on that from my original post. The kids are actually quite appreciative, and say "thank you". My concern is the behavior of SS11 while at camp and with me.
And one last thing, JSS.....the kid is ELEVEN YEARS OLD. I accept the fact that I will have to tell him to go poop, then verify that he actually went in the toilet. I do NOT accept pooping in your pants in a public place. There's nothing physically wrong with him, it's part of his autism, he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing to go to the bathroom. It's usually poop, but he has peed himself, too. And he does NOT care if he walks around with a stinky load in his pants.
Let the counselors know about
Let the counselors know about his issues. Maybe get him some pullups/depends for the week. There will be lots of new things and going to the bathroom is not at the top of his list. Relax.
Yes....breathe, relax. Yes,
Yes....breathe, relax. Yes, I am going to have a chat with the camp counselor on the first day, too.
I really really want the kids to have fun most of all, I don't want to be a screaming witch the whole time.
Note to self....stock up on wine. }:)
I am looking forward to it, too, they aren't manipulative little shits (yet) like some other skids on this site, it's just my nature to fuss.
Status updates to follow next week!
I did this same thing last
I did this same thing last year and screw doing that again, all they did was bitch and complain.
Learned my lesson, no matter what you do they will NEVER be happy.
Let us know how it works out.