Dh and I weren't together when dd was in kindergarten. It was in the middle of her being in 1st grade.

But anytime something new came up, she'd always have a breakdown, begin screaming and crying. I hated that these panic attacks began so young for her

I didn't, but I know that she has true anxiety and ocd. These were a few of the first signs. I usually just try to be patient and give her plenty of time to adjust to new situations. She doesn't do well with change and and conflict. She's extremely intelligent and understood her anxiety was irrational, she just couldn't "get over it". But she does see a therapist. I am going to try getting her into a psychiatrist soon. She's still not doing very well during changes... we haven't had many changes (a few but not many) since I've taken her to her the therapist, so it's hard to tell if it was actually helping. When she's not having anxiety attacks she's a normal child. You'd never know anything.

Back when she was like this all of my family tried to get her to wear doesn't clothes, she ended up having so many clothes that she'd never wear (everyone thought I wasn't doing it right lol) my mother took her to the store told her to pick something she'd actually wear). My sister took her to the store and told her she cam only pick something she'd wear, otherwise she'll never take her to the store again. Id already done this, so by the time all this went on, she had so many clothing items it was insane. She still only wore the original clothes she had, she tried to wear the other ones but she'd end up panicking(I even tried bagging up the clothes and "throwing it away" she flipped out hyperventilating screaming crying couldn't move, she totally panicked). I told her I'd take her to school naked, I drug her to the door even. Nothing would work... I gave in and gave her the clothes. Told her to put them on and let's go... it was horrible, eventually I said, why am I doing this, what harm is it that she wears clothes that all look identical? I don't care! The next year my sister told me the teacher felt bad for me because she thought those were the only clothes she had! Lmao, I laughed so hard emailed the teacher that dd in fact had a complete walk in closet full of clothes! I look back on this and think how was I coddling her? Should I just allow her to panick? That surely can't be good for a child. Maybe a child that has no emotional psychological disorder, but not for a child with severe anxiety, and not so young.

My dd loves school and can't wait for middle school, thanks. I do admit I'm worried about her having a panick attack before getting on the bus. I am trying to get her into a psychiatrist to see if they might be able to prescribe something for if she does break down.

I do hey what you are saying. I do agree that many times men get torn down for coddling their kids on here. But please I came to ask. .. what should I have done

She has an extensive wardrobe now and she wears every single item in her closet, as well as pays for most of her own clothing. The only time I purchase her clothes are on birthdays, Christmas, or for the first day of school, and I'm talking about a pair of shorts or pants and 2 or 3 shirts and shoes if necessary.

And please, since she has documented diagnosed anxiety and OCD, how should I have handled this differently? At that time? So that if she does do this when she starts middle school, I will have it under control.

Also, thank you for your concern, I am actually in the process of trying to get her into a psychiatrist as she is having panick attacks still about other things. Her panick attacks are not just simple boohooing she gets dizzy and her extremities get numb and tingling, she gets shaky, her tongue feels swollen, her back gets ridged, she can't take full breaths.

It's gone from starting kindergarten, to the clothes, to that's she washed her hands so much and sanitized then with hand sanitizer that they've gotten red swollen and cracking, to she can't touch anything that has been recently cleaned with chemicals (bleach, lysol, windex). Actually even before the kindergarten thing she couldn't have her flatware touch the table, if they did she had to have new flatware. Each thing lasted a few months before the new thing started, the longest was the clothes thing. Since the chemical thing, she really hasn't picked up any new anxiety. She just has the separation anxiety still. She can't make herself spend the night at s friend's house, she can't make herself go to summer camp. As much as I told dh it would be a stupid idea, we all tried. I would talk about how much fun it would be. Anytime she was having a panick attack over it, I'd talk her down from it, several times she thanked me for making her feel better. In the end, she couldn't do it. She was so mad at herself for it. She cried because she let herself down.

Um, no, I never went into a verbal tirade over the artwork. I went into a verbal tirade because of her complete lack of respect for anyone. Sorry that you had the confusion on that post. She truly has no respect for anyone, and it extended to my mother's house. I could care less about the art work, but it was just another thing that bothers me is how her lack of respect for anyone extends to her artwork as well. She literally couldn't care less about anyone, and it shows. But what I went off on her about was the way she treats everyone, and how my mother doesn't want to see her mistreat her grandchildren. Was it right? No, I shouldn't have done it, but I never brought up her artwork to her, nobody said anything about her artwork to her.

Right now her OCD drives her to achieve high goals, she gets straight A's, she's the high Achiever in her sport. She's the "ideal student" according to her teachers. She is a HUGE stickler for following the rules, making straight A's. She is going to middle school with all pre-AP classes. But at the same time, when she gets in a stressful situation, she gets tics. When big changes occur, she starts panicking. When something isn't just right she freaks out. As long as everything is running normally you would have no clue that she has ocd or anxiety.

I'm hoping to not have to put her on a CR (controlled release) because she won't need something all the time. She is 100% normal 90%of the time, it's the 10% of the time she will need something.

I'm going to have top look this up, dds therapist has done a few different techniques, it may just be that I need to change our therapist because she isn't helping and we've been with her for quite a while. It's hard to tell if it's working until we ate going through changes and she starts having panic attacks.

Thanks for the info

Thank you, and thank you to everyone else who Gave me advice as well as things I may need to hear, even if it may be hard. I will all about these things mentioned here, aspergerers, cbt, and how to better handle her emotional break downs... I will have a journal ready, when I take dd to the new doctor, with questions and plenty of room for notes. I truly want to do what's best for my kids, and as a human I am prone to making mistakes, I'm always willing to admit it, someone's it requires some self reflection. But I hope to do a better job every day. I appreciate everyone's input in this matter, even if I don't agree, I appreciate it.