OT: At my witts end with my sister

First off, forgive me for any grammar or spelling mistakes, im on my phone.

I havent had time post.much anymore. Working all the time, SS has become a non issue (never see him) and BM has not stirred up.any trouble. I went to the doctor.and was essentially told.that I could try using bc to control aunt flow or pay for a specialist.out of.pocket.to see what was going on. So far the bc is doin the trick.

My current.issue is this. My younger sister moved in with me three months ago. Basically she had no.where to go. I agreed to help.get.her.on her feet, her plan was to jpin the military. Three months later, no job and isnt a step.closer.to joining. I gave her a deadline, now she wants to go home. Cool, whatever talk to family and get the money to go home. Thats not the current problem.

She basically acts like a 14 year old (shes 18). If you.call her on anything she cries. She claims that she dosent understand anything, like throw out empty things dont put them back, if your home alone all day pick up the house.ect. the current.problem is that she has been messaging the husband of a friend of ours. The wife brought it up to me, shes (the wife) not mad but she does think its odd. I think is completly inappropriate, and I told her that. It has now blown up into this huge issue. I called her on her behavior when he is around, for example she spends 99% of her time in her room, if he is here she comes out but if his wife is her she dosent. Little stuff like that, always asking about him, making comments on their marriage.

I think its inappropriate, and unacceptable. He sees her as a little sister, but I have a gut feeling that she has other intentions. It has turned into.this giant fight and I am trying to be nice, calm and to not be blunt (this is hard for me). Am I being crazy or is this inappropriate?

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I'd absolutely be blunt!!!

I'd absolutely be blunt!!! Otherwise you might feel uncertain later that you did everything you could to keep her out of trouble and on the right path.

I'll help you.

Dear Sister - I want to talk about Friend's Husband. The way you act around him and towards him is inappropriate. It looks like you have a crush on him and are trying to get him interested in you. Is that how you see the situation?

(If yes) Ok, so not only is your behaviour inappropriate, it's deliberate. I can't have this conduct in my life and I understand that you have no motivation to change. Therefore you will need to move out in 10 days. If you haven't found a place, I will drop you off at the homeless shelter. We'll be leaving 10 am Saturday.

(If no) Ok, I'm sorry if this is embarrassing for you, but I think we need to talk about this a bit more. I want to explain to you the ways in which your behaviour is inappropriate so that you can make different choices. It's xyz.....

***********

And I'd talk like that about everything, until it's just easier for her to take care of her sh!t than get an insistent lecture about maturity for 10 minutes before she has to take out the garbage anyway! (Think, raising a 2 year old.... never back down and never let them see you sweat!)

Good luck.

Thanks, I tried explaining it

Thanks, I tried explaining it nicely and she just arugues with me. If we werent across the country from the rest of the family I would pack.her shit. Unfortunatly tell I get her a ticket back im stuck with her.

Something just seems off.about her. As I take a few steps back I am starting to realize that she may just be playing me. She always uses the "I dont.understand" excuse for everything. Even things that are common sense. And everything keeps turning into an arugment. Im just done.

Unfortunately SO was very blunt with her last night and now its my fault because I didnt stop him. I will not start a fight with SO to spare her feelings.

Shes driving me.nuts! Shes just as bad as a skid!

Honestly, you have the power

Honestly, you have the power to not have the argument. She is a legal adult and you owe her nothing - not a plane ticket home, nothing. You are absolutely within your rights to kick her out and change the locks.

I understand that you would never want to do that.

But you can't give her the power. Arguing her is giving her control. Truly, all good leaders, managers, and parents do not put up with BS. No need to argue or win, because she is NOT your equal and you do not need to indulge her temper-tantrums, her laziness, or her wish to be in control.

If my sister were to move in with me, I would expect her to be contributing to the household as asked. Full-stop. If not, she wouldn't be allowed to stay. If I'm doing her a favour, I expect to be thanked, not taken advantage of.

You can expect that too.

(I'm a bit done with jerks today, so sorry if I'm being too mean to your sister!)

Your not being mean! When we

Your not being mean! When we talked about her moving in I explained she would have ruoes and chores and goals, but now that she's here she doesn't like it.

Im just going to have to ignore her I suppose.

Thank you for reminding me that I don't owe her a damn thing

I will be, also going

I will be, also going changing the wifi password. Ughhh this is a.nightmare.

Thanks for comment, I just want to make sure.I'm not over reacting. She is.starting to cause some serious issues. I called my mom and told her she needs to get her out of here before I beat her a$s

They wont be coming over tell

They wont be coming over tell she has moved back. After talking to my mom at length I have discovered that she has always been manipulative and its really starting to show.

Ive caught her in outright lies, and have begun to realize that she has essentially been playing a game with me. Now that ive begun to call her out she is getting aggresive and distant.

This girl has got to go.

Actually, the space bar and

Actually, the space bar and the period are right next to each other. I try to catch it happening but I dont always.

And I agree, if he was.egging her on. The thing is I saw the conversation hes not, at all. She initiates it every time and his response is usually im busy.

Yes in this couples relationship this should be a nonissue, but the fact is that I find my sisters behavior disturbing.and unhealtjy. She seems to be seeking out male attention.

The couple will not be coming over to my house again until she is gone.

Im mainly just shocked that she would think this is, fine normal behavior.

And I agree, if he was.egging

And I agree, if he was.egging her on. The thing is I saw the conversation hes not, at all. She initiates it every time and his response is usually im busy.

Oh, but he is encouraging her. He needs to stop responding to her little messages.

She knows what she is doing.