Things I hate hearing in StepLife

You shouldn't let it bother you (But it does, and saying it shouldn't doesn't do sh1t)

You don't need to worry about BM (yeah until she sends us back to court, costs a fortune and screws us over)

Oh, you're his stepmom? (God I hate that word)

Co-parenting is best (Best-maybe, possible-nope)

You need to be the bigger person (Been there, done that; might as well play the role cast to me)

You knew what you were getting into (Sure but the level of BM's psychosis is still rising so there's that to deal with)

Why don't you leave/Why do you put up with this (Because I didn't work this hard or devote this much effort to just give up)

Why don't you just go back to court (Because money doesn't grow on trees and even if it did BM would get the judge to take that too)

These were just the ones I dealt with recently; feel free to add some as I will keep this as my running tally through the years.

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Comments

"She has had such a difficult

"She has had such a difficult childhood ..."

How about it's "best" for the kids that your DH has good relationship with their mother. As if they will magically get along now that their divorced, when they couldn't get along when they were married.

"You knew your DH paid child

"You knew your DH paid child support."

Yeah but I didn't know BM would nickel and dime him over everything, constantly ask for more above and beyond the support order, try to claim sh!t like yearbooks and ASB fees counted as "extracurricular" items, hound him to pay half of thousands in cheerleading fees (he didn't because he's not insane) and put braces on a kid who clearly could have lived without them, sticking him with a $2,000 orthodontist bill.

"You knew what you were

"You knew what you were getting into"
Nope, I had no idea until we bought a house together and lived all together. Before living together I did not see that my DH had no balls when it came to his kid or that he was skid's personal ATM machine. Skid was 16 years old when I met him and had a car, so he was out doing his own thing most of the time and not hanging out with us when DH and I were dating.

DH can talk the talk when it comes to parenting but can't walk the walk.

"You need to be the bigger person" I was the bigger person through out my first marriage, that I told DH that I am tired of being the bigger person and I will not be the bigger person or turn the other cheek anymore back when we were dating. He knows not to expect that.

I also hate this one.

Especially when the "child"

Especially when the "child" is 30 years old.

"I feel sorry for him because

"I feel sorry for him because his mum's never around"

Well, that's not my problem. Thousands, dare I say millions, of children live with divorce. And they grow up to be decent people that did not suffer or die or become forever traumatized. It is not the end of the world.

Yes... Keep in mind that

Yes... Keep in mind that these first few come out of my MIL's mouth.

"You need to be the bigger person." Been there, done that. Did NOT work.

"You guys need to get over your hatred of BM. Perhaps one day you all can be friends." (This one always makes me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh....)

"skid doesn't have her mom AND dad like your kids do - that's why she's my main priority." Huh?!

"There's how many kids between you guys? Oh, holidays and vacations must be fun!" No.... No they're not because BM is an intrusive and lonely twat. She texts and calls so damn much - it's like she's there with us.

50 year olds being called

50 year olds being called "girls," but then told by HB no correction is possible "because they are full grown women."

"Relax, you worry too much."

"Relax, you worry too much." (When proposing possible chess moves of the BM)
Sure enough, the next week a nastygram arrives from CSEU wanting to know "more info" despite no CS arrears.

"They're JUST KIIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSS!"

"If you don't like it, you

"If you don't like it, you can always leave..."

Often said here, in fact. As if undoing a marriage and partnership is just the simplest thing in the world and barely requires a second thought. I mean...I guess I don't have kids with him, and I'm not the REAL family...so it should be a piece of cake to just walk away.

My DH doesn't ever say that,

My DH doesn't ever say that, and he'd be devastated if I left. It's said by others, often on this board. Leaving is often the first suggestion commenters make when a poster has a blended family issue. It's a phrase that pairs well with: "They were there first" and "You don't have more rights to him than his kids do!"

Um...maybe not, but as a grown up I do have more legal rights and responsibilities, so I'm not going to let minor children run the show. Also, I'm in an equal partnership with my husband, one where I contribute to the running and the wellbeing of the household...not in a dependent relationship like his kids are. They may have "been here first" and "have rights to him" but MY rights are actually the ones that are legally binding and protected for life, not just until I turn 18.