The start of another skid sport season, CAN'T WAIT.
Tonight SS's football season begins. 8 weeks of nausea at the thought of my husband at the same field as BM.
Her boyfriend coached last year but apparently is not coaching this year. Knowing that he was coaching somewhat made me feel less awkward about attending a few games. Her boyfriend coaching -- what can she really say about her ex's wife being in the crowd.
Anyway, I hope although he isn't coaching that he still attends games this year. I would like to see 1 or 2. SS is a good kid.
I still get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach picturing BM and my husband cheering on their spawn together. They hate each other and can't agree on anything and they never sit together, or at least never have in the past, but my mind still likes to conjure images of them gazing lovingly together upon the creation of his sperm and her egg.
Send positive vibes for a painless football season. Last year she yelled at DH at the field about "not contributing" for sign up and then spent the whole game strutting from one end of the field to the other, and shooting us looks. She also wouldn't allow SD to come say hi to us.
3...2...1... kickoff! :sick:
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I get the pit in your stomach
I get the pit in your stomach but I don't get why you don't just go for your own peace of kind. SS5 is doing peewee football this year and I get anxious anytime I have to be there. We sit on opposite sides of the field. We show up before practice starts and get SS ready to play; she shows up anywhere from 15minutes-1hr late (or not at all) and mean mugs us from across the field during practice. My thought is that you can either sit at home and let your insecurities take over you imagination or get to the field and cheer on your stepkid regardless if stepdad shows up. If you go I'm sure your stepkid will notice even if he doesn't say anything, but most importantly so will your DH and THATS who really matters.
It interferes with my work so
It interferes with my work so I cannot go unless I take some time off. Unfortunately...
It was sort of her who threw
It was sort of her who threw him out initially and then he called her bluff and stayed gone.
Regardless, of course they love their child unconditionally. Sometimes I can be very matter-of-fact and accepting of that and sometimes it hurts. Steplife.
I've always been almost
I've always been almost fascinated that people can create life and then move on with hatred or indifference. I always felt it was such an intimate, incredible bond. I think this stems from my traditional Catholic upbringing and it highlights the way I often feel like an outsider at these events.
I feel the same way
I feel the same way sometimes. Especially at big events, graduations, etc. I worry it will bring them closer together. What you are voicing, as irrational as it is, is something we've all thought. What helps me is remembering that I love my DD with all my heart and yet I could absolutely care less about her father. I remind myself it's the same with DH and BM.
Exactly. It is just a nagging
Exactly. It is just a nagging "what if" worry that it will bring them closer. I love my husband and I wish I shared that bond with him - especially all of those firsts. Is what it is though!
Well, we went all summer
Well, we went all summer without SD10 going to karate.
She loves it but no one made the effort...whatever.
And she still hasn't gone. I think DH is not going to push it because it's difficult for him to get her there. Mind you, not impossible, just requires planning. And it's not an expensive dojo. I'm disappointed for her but not my job.
SD12 enrolled in an "outdoor survival" class this semester....
Ugh, I used to get that sick
Ugh, I used to get that sick in the pit of my stomach feeling the one season that SS played soccer and DH and I would go to the games and BM2 would be there. DH hates her, so we always sat by ourselves.. but just having to *see* her makes me yucky. And then of course sometimes she'd want to talk to DH after the game about some stupid nonsense.. UGH. I do not miss those days at all!!
Oh and the first soccer game we went to?? She must not have thought that I would be coming because she had brought an extra chair for DH... like she thought that he'd sit with her nasty, skankariffic, pedophile ass... as if!
And it's weird, because BM1 does NOT make my stomach queasy, and believe me I can't stand her either, but I could care less about being in the general vicinity as her.. but BM2... UGH!
I went to every single one of
I went to every single one of Thing1's football games over the course of 8 years. Asshat rarely made a game.
I met DH when the Things were freshmen in high school. He went to every single game with me. Never missed one.
Thing1 remembers two things - that his dad was rarely at a game and that his stepdad was at every single one. In fact, the ONE game that Asshat was at that I remember was in Thing1's freshman year. The last game of the season. Where Thing1 ran the ball to the 2 yard line after a spectacular catch. Where he got tackled by the biggest 9th grader I had ever seen. Where Thing1 got up with his left arm dangling down by his side, but refused to let anyone see that so he could remain in the game. Where he scored the winning touchdown on the next play.
Where he broke his collar bone and said to me as we were piling into the ambulance "StepDad is coming, too, right?"
My point is if you want to go to the damn game, go. Your skid will know.
Hahahahaha omg I'm sorry but
Hahahahaha omg I'm sorry but I absolutely love your blog because I'm going through the same thing as we speak. Thank god I'm not the only one. It literally ruins my entire day and night I pray she doesn't show up thank you for this
I always feel kinda out of
I always feel kinda out of place, even though SD and FDH want me there. SD goes to school and has all her sports in BM's township, so I don't really know anyone but I'm sure they know me as 'the stepmother'.
It also hurts when SD doesn't acknowledge me just because BM is there, but I try not to take it personal.
Maybe they should have a seating section for stepparents! JK.
AJ - join your husband at
AJ - }:) join your husband at the games and make sure you are looking absolutely fabulous.... flaunt it woman and pretend BM is not there, hold DH's hand, stroke his arm, be friendly, laugh and chat to the other mothers...
there's plenty of ways to keep BM away }:) and you can still be your sexy classy self...